Premonition, Paranoia, Fear or The Heart?

Can it be Premonition, Paranoia, Fear, or The Heart?

I feel something coming. It’s coming to arrest me. To lock me up inside a cell of confusion. I don’t want to get lost. I only want to be found at the bay of safety. I’m being stalked by the shadow. Everywhere I turn the light follows me but so does this shadow. I have no secret place away from this troubling feeling. I am taken away by the travels of fear and paranoia – they are driving me further into my shadow existence.

My feelings are witnessing to a Premonition that something is gonna arrive and it will leave me without reason or answer. Listening to the heart means sometimes doing the unthinkable. The heart might as well be our inward eyes. It sees what reality is for what it is made up out of. It can’t unsee what it sees. No matter how we try to put on the shades to protect ourselves from the radiation of what we see.

The longing for something better has once again returned.

I lie awake at night on fire, my core literally burns.

That familiar voice that is my own tells me to run and hide.

The only problem is that there’s nowhere to go; how can I run from my own insides?

Is it so bad to long for what’s unknown and simultaneously known?

I cry out, asking for help, asking simply to be shown.

Is it selfish that I want recognition for what it is I’ve done?

Even if I give all of the credit to the Ultimate One?

Is it selfish that I want it to be my name that is spoken?

Is it selfish that I want some appreciation, even a small token?!

It seems the only thing to do is wait until the end.

I must wait until our eternal lives are slated to begin.

Only then will these questions asked be answered with no bias.

When these notions of an ever-dwindling time are simply put behind us.

(Timeless Burning – Sylina D. Black)

This poem totally rhymes with my heart and the overall direction of this piece. Thank you again Sylina – for remaining right on time with your subject, motif, and genre.

The heart never lies because it’s beating to keep you alive. Navigating through the multilayered sound of the heart can confuse what fear, paranoia, or premonition offers. It’s best to start off with love because love returns everything to focus.

When you don’t have love to back things up, you are literally screwed. If love ain’t the backbone and foundation – you only have curse words and empty promises. Nothing ahead of you can make a clear path. You are destroyed with only memory and fainted desires to build with plastic wood. You can’t move to a safe place if love isn’t already your safe place. If you build with weak tools and equipment, eventually everything is gonna crumble and retire back to inflated wheels.

This is why love must be the champion in a relationship. If it doesn’t keep you coming back, love was never there. You believed falsely. You thought it was true only to find out you were robbed of honesty. You got hoaxed. Fooled by the enormities of emotion and pleasure.

You believed in what was real in the idea but false in reality. You gonna have to pay for this sacrifice by offering another promise. You won’t win this time, you’ll have to replenish it again. You lost but only to gain again consciousness. You gotta hit harder but only to the right target.

 

Advertisements

How To Not Get Annoyed (As Much)

I really hate when people say “Thank You For Your Patience…”

Thank me for my patience? How do you know I’m giving you any amount of patience? I’m left with no choice but to wait on your word. Even if I wanted to do something about it, I couldn’t. I’d have to deal with the fact that I am unable to deal with it. That makes me want to scream in madness!

BUT, it wouldn’t change the situation, would it? I’d still be left without any choice in the matter. So I guess, I am exercising my patience since I have no choice. Still, it makes me scream inwardly. What a troll move, to thank me for something I am not really giving you – but have no choice to give you because I can’t-do anything about it.

That’s what happens when someone gives the rules and you have to follow through. Sure you could make a fuss about it publicly. You can curse them out. File a complaint and be unforgiving, but what would that really prove?

I’ve realized lately, it does more harm to good to scream about something you can’t change. After it’s said it done, here is where you are and you got to keep pushing. Keep making moves. Those moves may be seen as reactionary to yourself but as long as you keep going, you won’t get too annoyed.

I don’t have a formula for you to compute to bypass being annoyed at things you can’t change. Especially, when you are thanked for doing something you didn’t actively choose. It’s the way of life. This year especially has been very direct when it comes to changes, almost not giving you enough time to process. The process of acceptance can take time, which is what leads me to the next point.

When things change without any direction such as accidents, there isn’t much you can do but deal with it responsibly. Give yourself time to breathe. Ponder the alternatives. Consider the different turns that come up when making a decision. Reach out if you need to. Remain calm.

Sometimes you gonna just lose your cool because pain hurts. A way to get better at dealing with annoyance is accepting your role in the plot. If everything is one big movie, you can expect the climax to arise. Here is your chance to turn the channel with the remote of your reaction.

“Take Back Control of Your Emotions”. Take Back? We risk our emotions being hijacked by the expectations that we have to do, what others want us to do. We risk being programmed to mute what we really want to do. Make no mistake about your freedom and your ability to own what comes to you. The more risks we are able to take the less afraid we are to what comes second.

Anger, Frustration, Fear, and Misunderstanding are normal emotions to shuffle with from time to time. They are always in the pocket of surprise. Yielding to these characteristics upon the first reaction to change is what puts us against the grain. When the sequence changes you got to bite into what that change will manifest. This is where we are now, so let’s make noise. Make noise in the direction to build a new solution.

Making known your voice is imperative. You have joined the party by the measure of your participation. You were invited to a change of spectrum. So you think you can dance? What about when the music stops? Can you hear the heartbeat in the silence? Is that your heart beating? You may be nervous – So dance to the beat and follow with the purpose of syncopation. Your feet must parade with a pronounced celebration.  It’s your party now. You can change the channel. Spin your own tunes. Dance to the music.

For who goes and who stays in the music? The sound is played and the movement begins. Get in the zone. Go into a deep spell by being possessed by the strikes of the melody. This means you got to listen. If you are gonna go crazy. Let it because you have become a fool to the muse of music.

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn’t hear the music.” – Nietzche

And so it begins.

Define Me.

Have me.

Restore me.

Renew me.

Give me joy when I’m depleted of it.

Resurrect in me, the will to carry in spite of my sloth.

Redirect me in the fullness of my navigation.

Return to me a praise that may grace my ambitions.

Celebrate me when I’ve fallen from the course of success.

Engage me when my words have dropped into a silent counsel.

Taste of me when I’m bitter with sour thoughts.

Wish me when I have disappeared from imaginative gaze.

Smoke me when I’ve frosted into sound bites of history’s past.

Take care of me, when my sanity has retired from sentences.

Cancel me when my renewal is distant from fulfilling the promise to stay alive.

Just Make do of all that I am until I can become again.

Pale Blue Dot

img_2947

“Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there–on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot.

Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”

— Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot, 1994

&SoWhileWeAreHere….Let’s create memories. Let’s infinitely go where our dreams lead us. Never mind if we run out of gas. We can walk the way afterward. Better yet, let’s run until we can no longer. When our energy expires we can drink from the pool of the earth. We’re here now, we can explore the higher mountains and deepest seas!