Pursuit // Pleasure

Pursuit // Pleasure

*The following script, is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…” which is due for release, December 28, 2018.

Palmar: Hey, have you tried the new app Fructose that allows you to explore the depths of glucose?

Allegra: Ah! Yes! It’s so good. Every time I think I should put it down – it proves me to be a liar because I can’t let it go. It’s like that chip you keep coming back too and the lemonade your grandmother makes! It’s just addictive like crack, honestly! lol!

Palmar: That’s what I heard and probably precisely why I ain’t trying to give it a go. I don’t want to do anything that makes me a slave to it.

Allegra: Who claimed you’d be a slave to it?

Palmar: Well, you mentioned crack and grandma’s lemonade…I’d say it’s quite powerful. Powerful enough to be the master of your senses. If it makes you a liar that means you can’t contest it.

Allegra: I never tried to contest it because I enjoy indulging it so much.

Palmar: Have you tried to abstain from it to see how your body would react to it?

Allegra: I ain’t trying to break away from it because I worry I might be dependent on it and you know the body develops dependence to some substances. If an alcoholic goes cold turkey it could literally kill them because they abused it for so long.

Palmar: So, would you say you abuse fructose?

Allegra: I suppose, I do. But we all abuse various things in life – I don’t think it’s a big deal.

Palmar: If you don’t want to live long and develop various diseases – you do have a point.

Allegra: Yeah but I don’t see why you are making it seem as if pursuing pleasure is a bad thing, we all have our various vices.

Palmar: You know what they say: Everything in moderation. If you feel you can’t resist fructose you might to want to start cutting it out one day at a time. Cold turkey might not be the best alternative but slowly breaking away from your addiction secures a better future for your mental and physical health.

Allegra: But I like fructose, why break away from what I like?

Palmar: Not all vices are remedies to the consequences that come from them.

Allegra: Ok. Well, I’m going to do me, and you can do you.

Palmar: So, are you saying you rather continue to head down a cycle of abuse because this is YOU right now?

Allegra: All I said is I’ll do me, and you will do you. I never asked you to lecture me about the dangers of fructose. I am aware of how bad it could be. However, as with anything they’re loopholes.

Palmar: I reckon those loopholes are very few.

Allegra: So, are you going to interrogate me about this from this day forth? Are you going to continually remind me how I’m killing myself and recommend me articles and links to help me get better or what? Do you think most obese and overweight people know they are or should they be constantly reminded of this fact?

Palmar: Healthy reminders shouldn’t be triggers.

Allegra: But they shouldn’t reinforce a sense of evangelism either. You can say what you need without judging me for it or educating me on something that I already know about. Some of us are on our way dying and can’t be convinced to change their habits. (Maybe they want to die or don’t care much for changing) No need to put me through an intervention. If I was on my death bed and I wanted to try LSD would you refuse me of that? Would you tell someone who is already dying that they should take proper steps to ensure they live longer? For what purpose? I don’t have children or a partner depending on my life.

Palmar: So, if you had children or a partner – that wouldn’t compel you to live longer?

Allegra: I’m not totally sure. That’s not why I do what I do. I have plenty of friends including yourself that may want the best for me. I just want you to know I understand the risks and if experience leads me to make a remarkable change then I’ll oblige but for now, I’ll enjoy my fructose but take more consideration to moderation.

Palmar: That’s good, I’m happy to hear that.

Allegra: I hope you live long and stay clear from the range of accidents! You know you never know when they may happen. *chuckles*

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H & I

H & I

*This post came to me in a dREaM – so if some of it doesn’t make any sense, you should probably sleep on it and then write down your dreams – then try correlating the lines.* If you don’t want to read through all of the lines of explanation – here’s a sentence to simplify it for you. “By surrendering your “I” (ego) you create a bridge to cross.”

I” is a bridge to cross. When explaining yourself – to someone else, think of the capital letter ‘H’. There are two poles on opposite ends but have the equal lines to connect what’s in the middle.

The line (“I”) in the middle should be seen as the ego. In order to understand where someone is coming from, one must surrender their ego simultaneously so their cargo (argument) can be successfully delivered.

HNIego

The ego must submit as to not get in the way. A bridge is essential if you want a shortcut instead of carrying extra baggage because by then everyone could have missed your point. The feeling of being wrong is one that we often run away from.

All of us are convinced on opposite ends that what we’re saying is valid. We tend to believe the information that confirms our side. We blindly may accept the normative played out without challenging the veracity of such sides.

Getting to where we want to go means discipline but also curiosity. How much would you love the end result? Even if the result is not in your favor. For energy comes and goes. Sometimes it may stick around other times it may convert into something else. It may be useful or a pest – dealing with the volume of passing chemicals is, after all, a potentially deadly experience.

As it turns out, meeting in the middle is often actually just one person bowing down and compromising for another person. If someone wants to do one thing and another doesn’t want to do it – meeting in the middle is either one person deciding to do it or the other deciding not to do it.

It’s not good enough to half do it. It’s also like a see-saw. One is up and the other is down.

A great way to simplify the H & Bridge is by a lyric from Prince: “If eye say 11, U can say it’s 7 – still eye wish u heaven.”

Truth is: there is no such thing as winning an argument *at least there shouldn’t be*. Imagine you on one side screaming your head off while the other person is screaming their head off. The two of you alternating between highs and lows – uppercuts and low blows.

One player feels like an aggressive antagonist. The other one reduced and misunderstood. The relationship is spoiled, the argument is specifically engineered – guaranteed to be exact – to be repeated. A circle that never reaches any conclusion.

Shoulders are tense. Arms are tightly embracing the opposite arm. The mood is stubborn.

If the person you are trying to win an argument against is important to you, then you may see how using the word “winning” is really misused.

*unless you really enjoy stomping to the beat of your own drum without yielding to the other bandmates – so that they may fancy the chance, to solo to their heart’s content!*

Getting There

Getting There

FOLLOW ME AS I CAPTURE THE ESSENCE OF THE WIND
WE MAY BEGIN TO REVEAL THE SEEDS OF MY SIN
CRYSTAL STARLIGHT HOVERING OVER YOUR HAIR
A WANDERING CALL BECKONS YOU TO SIT OVER THERE

AND NOW HERE YOU ARE NERVOUS WITH DESIRE
WISHING FOR PURPOSE TO STING YOU WITH A HOLY FIRE
THEY CAN’T SEEM TO SEE THROUGH YOUR OPEN WINDOW
THOUGH YOUR HEART BEATS WITH A CRIPPLING CRESCENDO

LOST IN AN UNKNOWN LAIR – WHERE GOVERNING BEATS REPEAT
SOUNDS GLISTEN PROVIDING RHYTHMIC MEDICINE TO YOUR FEET
A MAP OF PROMISE BEGINS TO ARISE FROM THE SMOKE
A CAT APPEARS TO REMIND YOU OF FATES JOKE

HOW DID YOU EVER FIND THIS ARENA OF CIRCUMSTANCE
WHEN DID YOU EVER FORGET THE CODE OF TRANCE
NOW YOU CAN’T HELP BUT TRIP ON A SLIPPERY BASE
THEY CAN’T UNSEE YOUR BONAFIDE FACE

THE TOKENS HAVE ALL FELL OVER INSIDE A SHALLOW CREEK
AS OUR POCKETS WERE FULL – WE COULD HARDLY SPEAK
BLESSED ARE THE DAGGERING MOTIONS FROM THE SEA
FOR WOE WAS THEE, NO LONGER ME – FOR NOW WE HAVE THE KEY

Misery And Company At Your Buffet

Misery And Company At Your Buffet

I sat down right next to misery on the train towards The Highway of Empathy. Misery then told me, how much they loved my company for they had sensed my pain. Before I knew it – I began telling them what made me miserable. It’s fair to say we bonded quite quickly.

The phenomenon of trauma bonding is a bit more clever than I supposed. I left feeling as if I wasn’t the only one who had pains and bruises. I knew it was not only me who knew misery. When I finally arrived at Empathy Highway – I began to understand so many others experienced and felt similar to me. I quickly realize what we soon discover – I ain’t the only one in this bih!

“In the land of misery there lived a voice. A voice seeking to be heard by all of those whose woes were awakened by shared disgrace. Misery has a lot of company. Friends or enemies – it matters none to misery EVERYONE is invited to bond over the fire and ice. We are burned and then we are sent to Antartica.”

We are living in a time where misery is experienced at an intensified level.

With knowledge comes the awareness to put knowledge at exercise. It can’t stand to be stagnant – it must move in order for it to truly be alive. For what can be said about the familiar stroke of hardship? How are we to move on when our motivation is gone and when there’s no clear path to healing?

The conditions of life can be very hard even for the strongest of us. All we really have is each other and when your neighbor starts acting a fool, you got yourself. Even when you let yourself down, you’re still with YOU. Another chance to get it right. Remembering that even when it’s wrong you can appreciate the balance.

STILL, we can’t help but listen and share our woes. Whether with people, paper, art, or any amount of creation we can find to muster those silent woes. While we all share a relationship with life’s pain and triumphs – our pains are remembered with stronger conviction.

Misery is a friendly invitation extended to anyone who chooses to remember their miserable experiences. Somebody will find something to complain about. There’s always room for improvement and complaints remind us there are advancements that can be made. Just as long we keep it in the current motion.

Hindsight is more the 20/20 – it’s a dream we won’t remember all the details to.

We are like questions being drawn at the expense of searching for answers.

Sometimes all it takes is the right question to be found at the right time in your sorrow. I have learned to not be afraid of sorrows pull – for there’s a lot I have yet to process in my tears.

When the aches of life return and wish to retreat at a buffet with all sorts of past and present existential reminders – I’m gonna eat it one tribulation at a time. ( I may very well leave some entree’s because some things are too high in sugar and fat).

We don’t have to deal with all of the sorrows of the world at once. There’s a lot to eat and if you’re aren’t careful you can put way too much on your plate because you spend too much company with misery. Social Justice is important but if you’re gonna be a warrior – you have to always be prepared to fight.

That’s part of the problem, carrying swords, arrows, and armor. You won’t always be able to dodge those bullets and avoid the inevitable. The inevitable happens. Response or reaction? It’s all about your determination to resolve. If it’s all meant to be here or there.

Don’t let life hassle you into a thousand schemes of awakening. *Sleeping is sometimes some of the best natural medicine life can give you*. I’d encourage you to be aware of the many courses made available to you. Blow off your back the familiar retrograde set to keep you in flames. Every experience isn’t dealt with the same way – best if we stop pretending they are. Leave yourself to your own space where you can eat your grace at your pace.

Remember: You’re the one eating is what is nutrious. *Hopefully more than the sweets* You get to choose what you want and what’s yours. No matter who’s around you encouraging you to “EAT! EAT! IT’s GOOD!” It may not be good and to the company that suggests otherwise – remember it’s your buffet. You get to eat whatever you want. Your mouth, Your choice!

The Big But (Discover Naunce)

The Big But (Discover Naunce)

We all hear it more often than not. The BIG BUTT!! It comes in around the corner with a fancy strut. The more someone keeps talking with this and that, there it goes. BUTT!

The negation because there’s obviously something we have not considered. The Butt comes in tight/loose jeans, yoga pants, long or short skirts which allows the wind to come to reveal the negation – you can’t always be mad at that, ain’t nothing to be mad at.

That’s what people pray for sometimes. A different approach which you couldn’t see in the far distance.

We can’t always escape it, in fact escaping it just means you weren’t willing to listen. There’s a lesson hidden in the ‘Also’. Even ‘But’ can bring a fresh perspective. The power of the mind allows a constant refresh.

Our abilities to think for ourselves is a vital element in our evolutionary development. Thinking on our own terms all while also acknowledging the space and opinions of others. Our minds are fascinating discoveries to fantasy and real stuff. How are we able to separate and distinguish the two?

There’s also the blurred middle where things can take a unique form and transcend fantasy and reality.

I like to call this middle ‘The Discovery.’ In it – we’re searching endlessly. From the top or at the bottom. The more you keep searching and driving – the destination becomes less important. The discovery is a loop that changes beats through rhythmic chords.

The middle is seen as discovering why the ‘But’ was brought up in the first place. You can take every moment to learn from the glance of ‘but’ – although at times we can benefit from the silence of mystery.

I was once told solid advice from a colleague: “Consider removing the ‘Butt’ // when it shows up as a big ass negation that stands in the way of everything that precedes it. “But” can be exclusive and isolating “And” is more inclusive and welcoming.

You can’t consider the options when you are far too quick to remove the possibility by affording the impossible by the ‘butt strut’. This is true.

There’s a lot to know which can be discovered by us saying nothing at all. Unpacking nuance is an abrasive but necessary adventure, we must be willing to enter into. There’s a lot that we miss because we forget how much is nuanced. To this point, But can work to our advantage; when we know how to use it.

Concentrated Stare

Concentrated Stare

What are you staring at?

Could it be my dark skin paired with beige company beside me?

What about my countenance – is it that threatening to be remembered later?

What gives you the thrill to focus so long on what’s in front of you?

Pardon all of my questions – but you don’t seem to mind answering all of where your curiosity leads.

I don’t mind if you take a look but to follow with your wandering eyes seems a bit much.

You are concentrating so much with your stare – I can literally hear what you think!

All of the assumptions and judgments, they aren’t all pleasant.

I feel it and I can see where you’re going with this.

Therefore, I’m gonna give you something absurd.

A middle finger or a twisted face.

I’m not sure yet – but the more you look – you’ll notice.

Enough to get you talking to your family at the dinner table.

I can already hear you telling them about how you saw someone so peculiar.

It’s funny how in an instant someone can become the talk of the day.

I’ve become famous already through your concentrated stare.

How highly you must think of me. To offer me such consideration in your eyes.

So you like what you see?

Even if you don’t – subconsciously your curiosity is a bit deeper than you expect.

I feel the power of your eyes – it’s pulling me like the moon.

How full your eyes are – staring into all the deepest crevices of my movement.

Your eyes are doing all the talking and I’m convinced your mouth is too shy to speak.

Don’t be shy – there’s language that rhymes with staring.

It starts with a hello and ends at: What are you looking at?

The Dial of Your Philosophy

The Dial of Your Philosophy

I rather the page of the story be bookmarked than turned completely. I’m drifting lost. No more pages left to read. A story told by the word of mouth. The art of listening is also hearing what was not being said. To be caught against offense is to not hold merit personally.

For theories and the word of the philosophers  – the tongue is to encourage thinking and questioning. If you can not ask within yourself – the wonder remains lost. The answer is far found by systems designed that you function within them. If by departing into identity, you’ll be at an advantage to learn about liberty. The liberation of the soul is real and true.

We have teachers all around us imparting knowledge that we can learn and share from. Everyone wants to assume they are right and have the answers. Some offer better reasons than others. Standing on the fence of what’s right and what’s wrong – cross parallels the difference between the points and lines.

At what length does one go through to show where they stand? Proximity and measures across the boards – determine what is heard. Some ideas are sworn into a moral code and are eventually locked in. When these ideas become locked in, you risk the danger of cutting out new information. Ideas expand from root and observations – these are unknown causes that can only be set to challenge real effects.

I think a lot of us deal with way more than we have to. We put on extra because the world shares extra. A lot of what we know is partial. Subjectivity and objectivity are often confused.

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“If I could speak only when spoken to – would you listen when asked? By listening – I mean to get where one is coming from without interjecting?

Every day I’m learning what it means to speak to myself in my mind. Before I open my mouth, I deal with what my brain processes beforehand. If I speak too soon, I may trespass a meaning that wasn’t intended. Nobody wants that. Then you have to suffer a repetition of what was said – to make sure you heard correctly. You might then have to deal with the delivery of how you said it.

We should all deal with our meanings, reactions, and emotions accordingly. More often than not, we may bite too soon and chew way too fast. How can anything we consume be properly digested if we’ve forced ourselves to eat at a fast pace?

Everybody seems to be in a hurry. The race to the finish line. If we could all be punctual – but we all have or different reasons for arriving late or even early. Some people don’t wear a watch and have to constantly ask – what time is it?

I wear a watch and this gives some a slither of confidence. I’m aware of the passing seconds. This sometimes wrestles with my anxiety when I think the time is running out. If anything time reinforces an amount of control we have temporarily – time is the only element we can agree on within a frame or more.

Belief is what you want or do not desire. You can turn it off or on. There isn’t really a way to look at it unless you start really believing it. Belief is really magic. The reason why people believe is beyond our comprehension. People usually have several different moral beliefs but fail at holding them in true value. This is because when challenged on what we believe it depends on the moment of our conviction.

You might catch me on a day where I’m trading my movement for stillness. My days are fractured by the measured on how well I kept up with emotion. The feelings we have are temporal and don’t really engage any long term values. When one appears they can easily hide behind the veil. Curtains are drawn. Masks are worn. Walls are shredded. It’s the bliss of spells cast by illusion and attention. There’s the art to morality that eventually calls into question philosophy. Where do you stand as it concerns YOUR PLACE IN THIS YOUNIVERSE?

You dial what moves are made by the orbit of gravity and shit. 😀

A Sound Proof Destiny

A Sound Proof Destiny

Sometimes life is filled with unpredictable sentences which leave you dumbfounded. No matter how much you read into what is before you, it doesn’t seem to process. The connections make a draw and you’re left with thoughts about things you never knew could be conceived.

Ever talk to someone and then suddenly you got lost because they went on and on about something you never quite – caught up to?

When they just seemed to go on tangents about issues you never knew were issues until they classified them as such?

Ever been caught off guard completely by life and how one reasons with reality?

Ever just burst into laughter because you crossed something in your mind, trapped in some distant part of your imagination – which then created joy and made you laugh?

You can even climb trees in the winter time right after the snow falls.

What you just saw happened (in your mind) can happen and that’s just life answering back at you.

It’s Sound. It comes as proof of some kind of destiny.

Or maybe it just doesn’t make sense?

You can climb a tree at home while not having to go out in the cold after it snows 😀

Take A Listen…

THE GLITTER OF AN ANSWER

THE GLITTER OF AN ANSWER

When you are awarded for what you intend. The extra sprinkled passions – that enlighten conversation. The Cookie. Accomplishment. Success. Certificates. Ribbons.

So the question is – do you wanna cookie?
Don’t mind if I do!

Not all ribbons and certificates have to be given through an academic means. Sometimes – you are awarded based on intention. Ain’t nothing wrong with that! 😀