Opaque

Opaque

(If you rather listen instead of reading – CLICK HERE)

Opaque –  not transmitting radiation, sound, heat, etc.

This disturbance of my peace steady lingers in my opaque heart. I am wishing to find a balanced memory. One that isn’t tainted by the lullabies of betrayal or bad news.

If there’s one thing we have an abundance of, is plastic! Bad News is like plastic. I don’t think we’re even aware of how well versed we are with the bad news cycle.

It’s not particularly beneficial long or short term if not met with balanced stories that service positivity.

I feel this even more so as a person of color. People of color are so well versed in trauma, that we’ve internalized the mere occurrence by heavily sharing it out of outrage.

We even urge others to make videos VIRAL of police brutality or some form of prejudice. While this may certainly bring necessary attention – if we only do this without proper balanced good news, none of it has the potential to serve us any good.

We justify this as to bring awareness to brutality which in many ways are important.

The key to solving this conundrum is knowing that you don’t have to tolerate the constant bad news cycle.

There’s just as much good news as bad news, it just tends to be dressed and packaged in the commonly disposable (plastic) reaction…“ aww how sweet” whereas devastating news or sad news is packaged as “conscious or necessary to know”.

If our collective good and productive contributions are rarely acknowledged at the expense of plastic, easily produced bad news – this rubric can’t be to our advantage.

What we should know but often forget is those bad things has been happening since the dawn of humanity. This doesn’t mean we can’t sympathize with those affected by trauma but that we should correlate it with the bigger picture. *things are much better now than before!*

We should also remember those good things are in abundance as well.

Remember the good things and do good things unexpectedly. Share good things even the ones that seem important.

Even the small good things, like you, had your favorite meal today or that you got a smile from someone who doesn’t typically smile. Good things don’t have a rubric of interest.

If sharing those good things are received by a simple – “aww how cool” or even the unconventional thumbs up! We can learn to appreciate that. The alternative often involves a non-productive response which can end up making you feel worst than before.

In light of this awareness, I am developing a new rule: If you’re gonna share bad news, meet it with something cool or even weird. Weird is better than bad. Cool is more informative than bad.

The bad news cycle isn’t always unnecessary but not always useful either.

Hindsight tends to laugh at our previous business.

Indeed we are often shady businessman – making deals impulsively not properly planning quarterly.

My prudential interest serves me because I was taught to consider my own values. Self-care is not just about pampering but taking care of fundamental needs.

I have come to bite the fruit of despair.

If seeing you there meant believing in our dream, I would not hesitate to go asleep.

Now I can’t be seen as truly wanting absolution.

From the morning complaints to the afternoon joke that turned sour.

The evening sun casts a gloomy indifference.

Who’s to say what it could mean?

We are locked in the chain of belittling attacks.

To be understood is our misfire.

We’ve stepped in the sulking cold, right when springtime arrived.

Never late but hardly in time for our lifestyles.

Will they ever mesh? Or could we ever be more than our aging flesh?

I thought that together with our growth would make time for all the rest.

But sometimes, shortcomings are aging truths that remain on the viral dial.

In my halls of shallow emotions, still, I write.

To be known for who I am and whom I will become without a fight.

We are all but a forgotten flower.

Purchased for the dining set table.

But we simply seem unable and that is why my opaque heart longs…for good news packaged in a reusable material.

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Getting There

Getting There

FOLLOW ME AS I CAPTURE THE ESSENCE OF THE WIND
WE MAY BEGIN TO REVEAL THE SEEDS OF MY SIN
CRYSTAL STARLIGHT HOVERING OVER YOUR HAIR
A WANDERING CALL BECKONS YOU TO SIT OVER THERE

AND NOW HERE YOU ARE NERVOUS WITH DESIRE
WISHING FOR PURPOSE TO STING YOU WITH A HOLY FIRE
THEY CAN’T SEEM TO SEE THROUGH YOUR OPEN WINDOW
THOUGH YOUR HEART BEATS WITH A CRIPPLING CRESCENDO

LOST IN AN UNKNOWN LAIR – WHERE GOVERNING BEATS REPEAT
SOUNDS GLISTEN PROVIDING RHYTHMIC MEDICINE TO YOUR FEET
A MAP OF PROMISE BEGINS TO ARISE FROM THE SMOKE
A CAT APPEARS TO REMIND YOU OF FATES JOKE

HOW DID YOU EVER FIND THIS ARENA OF CIRCUMSTANCE
WHEN DID YOU EVER FORGET THE CODE OF TRANCE
NOW YOU CAN’T HELP BUT TRIP ON A SLIPPERY BASE
THEY CAN’T UNSEE YOUR BONAFIDE FACE

THE TOKENS HAVE ALL FELL OVER INSIDE A SHALLOW CREEK
AS OUR POCKETS WERE FULL – WE COULD HARDLY SPEAK
BLESSED ARE THE DAGGERING MOTIONS FROM THE SEA
FOR WOE WAS THEE, NO LONGER ME – FOR NOW WE HAVE THE KEY

You Must Search

You Must Search

You Must Search because the systems aren’t designed to be completely honest with you. Systems enable a poisonous cycle that is literally designed to KILL you. If by chance you survive the toxic hell they feed you – they won’t supply tools necessary to restore your health and well-being. Look at it as a virus installed the moment you bought a new computer. It’s only a matter of time before it crashed but the repair won’t be for free.

But for a $Price$ far beyond your ability to compensate. All of the billboards tell you nothing is wrong and that this is the way it goes. All of the glitter and expensive things are shown as believable. It’s sold as a dream that everyone desires although you must be asleep to enter it. The price for liberation – leaves you left with very little leg room. While your legs may be stuck in a closed in place, your ability to move is still encouraged.

You Must Search for loving yourself isn’t always the easiest path but it yields the best benefits. It’s not that people don’t care they just don’t care enough to change what you’re doing in your life. It’s good to have a village hold everyone responsible but it ain’t the norm. People barely acknowledge that you’re there. When something comes up – like if your pants are down. This doesn’t always alert your neighbors all the time. They might not find it necessary to tell you – this is why your mirror is your best friend.

You Must Search cuz you’re responsible without given the reason to know why you gotta find out. You’re thrown in – sink, swim, or float. You’ll have to do each of these actions at some point in time. This matters because the importance of awareness is literally life-changing. Getting to know why things sink, swim, and float helps identify the problem. It ain’t just you, tho! Sharing this space with about 7 billion other people and counting helps create some perspective. When in doubt be your own best friend and look out the window to gain empathy.

You Must Search for there are various clues hidden between the walls and halls of your waking life. You’re on an endless journey which is governed by the rules you set. These rules are imaginary – they only make sense to those that follow. There is Black and White – and those colors which are in between.

You Must Search for the fun is in the adventure to find out what’s awaiting you. (Which is a lot)

Statistical Torture

Statistical Torture

“If you torture data enough, it will confess to anything you like.”

– Ronald Coase

It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The world is beautiful. The world is ugly.

All of these statements can simultaneously be true. They don’t have to cancel each other out.

Let’s say a man said something sexist. (Which happens a lot, unfortunately) In response to this sexist comment – a white woman said something racist to counter what he said. This doesn’t cancel out each statement being problematic. We tend to fight over what’s worst when all the apples can be spoiled. What’s the point in picking a side when every side has an element that can be proved and corrected?

“We are like the animals on Noah’s Ark arguing about whose shit stinks more, with the boat being the only thing keeping us from certain extinction. If it floats, it is mine as good as yours. “

– Sanada Maitreya

Whenever you look at stats and follow them – it’s easy to torture the hell out of them as Ronald eloquently put it.

Picking sides. Being one tracked minded. All of these definitions to define where we stand can be very isolating. It’s best, to be careful so that we’re not completely self-absorbed in our own evaluations in how we see the world. Have you ever found yourself pushing the limits just to see if it’ll break?

It starts with knowing there’s a limit and yet still seeing how far you can go. Adrenaline is the main reason for this nonsensical pushing and pulling. It’s thrilling and surprises come very rarely but the mere chance is enough to keep one going. Humans often get a kick out of torturing what is in front of them. Limit pushing. I know I’m not the only one who’s seen people doing dumb shit for the sake of it. Most seem to do it for attention while others seem to do it just to bend the statistics.

As a child, it was always my goal to make it to the Guinness World Records. I wanted to break a record! I figured, their so many records to choose from, I felt this would be an easy feat. Maybe I’d hop on a pogo stick for hours at a time (I was pretty good at it) Notwithstanding the many numbers of people trying to do the same thing and the amount of determination needed to make this happen, safe to say my desire quickly dwindled. I looked at the numbers and felt crushed by the likelihood and probability.

How probable is it that we’ll get our shit together before looking for revenge? When someone crosses us are we looking for justice just the same?

We ought to be careful how we look at data otherwise we’d arrive at various conclusions. We’re already at the age of a sort of ‘post-truth’ but the numbers stay the same if we know what we’re looking at.

So next time someone wants to read to you a stat about XYZ – remember anything can be tortured. Including numbers, ain’t that surprising tho is it? 😀

Tremendous & Superfluous (That’s Delicious)

Tremendous & Superfluous (That’s Delicious)

That’s delicious.

This kind of taste is the necessary elixir needed for a life like mine. A vacation. A place to lay my head in spite of the constant noise. Every once in a while – I gotta bite from the sugar rush. A climb up the mountain so that I can chill with the clouds. Traveling away hasn’t harmed anyone. When you know what’s coming for you and what ain’t.

It’s always wise to count the strings and to take measures before you arrive. If you’re planning to go anywhere – Draw a map. Make it plain. For so much work is put into avoiding a crash. We must secure our deposits. Tie down the alluring spend. If there’s anything we want, it’s certainty that our check is coming on time.

What a superfluous kiss this is. When our long waited goals will kiss the lips of manifestation. I can’t hide my smile when a graceful strut of fulfillment comes knocking for me. Don’t you like it when it’s coming for you!

It’s delicious – when the sexy embrace of ‘What’s mine’ arrests me onto secret floors. My joy is exposed.

While much happier now, I feel my kisses have been wasted – It’s taken a tremendous amount of effort to get to this point. Nonetheless, this is where we at!

My taste for more offers temptation to my curious feet. They walk up the stairs carefully guided by the aura of foreplay. With careful nature – We must caress time as we have it in our arms. The amount of attention we pay is instructed by the value we set. How can we know what is ours and what’s theirs? Upon the table being set, why not rush in earnest desire to be fed? Why wait?

For when the table is set – the seats are ready to get warm. The bread invites us to partake. It’s better if we can crumble it down to the finest it can be. Allowing the sweetness to absorb on our tongues. Ain’t no need to rush this feeling tho. When it’s like a cow chewing cud – 1,000 rotations a minute. This food is fine and yes, delicious to the belly and mind. Eating slowly and slowly.

Tremendous and Superfluous – a race to the finest taste. Guaranteed to be delicious cuz the seasonings make a difference. You may be a little too much or not enough but you’re guaranteed a delicious bite. It’ll make you go Hmmm! I wonder how I didn’t figure it out before? It’s alright tho, cuz it’s delicious when everything is Tremendous and Superfluous!

SYZYGY 21.

SYZYGY 21.

A solar eclipse is a lineup of the Sun, the Moon, and Earth. (Also known as a syzygy.)

The Moon, directly between the Sun and Earth, casts a shadow on our planet.

It’s something that rarely happens, but every once a while we have the fortune of experiencing it.

The Moon has to be between the Sun and Earth for a solar eclipse to occur. The only lunar phase when that happens is the New Moon, which happens to be tonight!

Where I am (Örebro, Sweden) We are unable to see the Solar Eclipse.

However, in light of this phenomenon – I wrote a poem which is featured below.

Syzygy 21

Syzygy, oh Syzygy – what a name to pronounce.

This is perhaps the reason you visit at infrequent hours.

Like the rising sun which comes to return a promise of a new day.

These are the glories that awaken us to dream without borders.

There’s a story in the stars waiting to be heard by our steady focus.

Looking widely with enlarged renewal entrances – our perspective refreshes again.

A shower to experience – a sight to behold.

Can you taste the connections as they subtract and multiply?

The moon up above desires to know us through our changing phases.

Those patterns that we can’t predict – the moon shares the same fate.

It is now the time of the alarm again only this time, some may not hear it.

Their lunacy has become full of unforeseen reasons.

But they may take hope! For the eclipse shall come again – in the future years where they’ll be ready for it.

This time now – We’ll glance through the computer screen to awe at the impending joy of these fragile moments.

For with my senses I can feel the power and my eyes can taste the light.

The new moon is invisible from our eyes, yet this is a time where all is full and aligned.

The black moon now creates a pressing desire to be found in the key of turning graces.

Serene glistens are carried in those who can catch with their eyes – a sight to behold for a lifetime.

But if by chance you again, miss a site like this due to the arrangement of time and circumstance.

Staring at the blanket in the sky will remind you of a light that’s been here long before you got here.

The Syzygy 21 transforms passions of desire with elation into poetic song.

Inspired

Inspired

Inspired to go somewhere.

To fly into the presence of persuasion.

To count the stars while breathing in the dust from starlight pyramids.

I’m looking to find deep treasures buried in the bowl of my intent.

I’m not always ready to face the monster of realization because it taunts imagination.

I can clearly see where I’m gonna be.

I can taste the freshest waters of futuristic manifestation.

Yet here I stand.

Frail with a desire to move but lacking the gas and stimulation needed to cough up a revival of the chase.

When one can feel the power of intensity one then realizes the goal of emphasis.

The Word is moving upon my lips, and my vision is multiplying into endless translations.

My life is turning into a maze of possibilities.

Never before have doors become reflections of interest.

In the heat of my incentive, I’m inspired to reach places unseen before.

I’m following the trail of ancestral geometry.

The guide of the stars is mapped by close study of arrival.

I’ve been preparing myself.

I’m having to really trust myself more than ever.

I’ve always had people tell me I’m capable and I really believe it – but now I’m having to put that in motion.

Something about being 24 // Love is serving me some demands.

I’m just having to trust that all of this study is gonna pay off.

(Which I know it will) it’s just my experiences are teaching me a lot about myself.

New things are happening.

Still dealing with this and dealing and that.

Now more than ever my perception is being framed by my experiences and actions.

I’m inspired to redeem that which was lost.

To mend that what was invisibly broken, but now clearly seen in lines ahead.

Inspired to be.

Inspired for the sake of inspiration.

Inspired because there is work ahead.

I’m inspired because there is a fire in the motivation of silent motion.

Hovering

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I’m hovering over you because you’re over me.

Your shadow is a lurking creep and I swear it’s to keep me in the age of ancient time.

Sweet forces of bliss pantomimed.

In my heart and my conscious mind.

Addressing the tribulations of my alienated vocal dimension – I beckon to be heard.

Through a lover like you, with a season of passion and a river of mention.

To be carried under your umbrella of comfort, I plead for the rain to shower.

Just to be felt by your grasp, only a little more, and I’ll be closer into the pondering of your mind.

Comforted by the sweet walls of your thoughts.

These scales of recognition are trailing marks of your interest to me.

Your ideas carved with me in sound.

Breathlessly my own sequence of words is captured in the engaging glare.

Redemption.

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You excite me and make my thoughts – spend into suspension.

All of you.

I can’t deny what I wanna make you feel.

I wanna cause your actions to form into a battle.

Literally paralyzing you into a web of sticky cream.

Then I want to get rid of your syrup by sentencing your lips with the weapon of my passion.

Pouring into you sections – I haven’t shown to anyone.

But my youthful self when I first realized, how bad I wanted a girl like you.

Badly like the oceans – I seek to calm you in the midst of your trauma.

Again I wanna become a slave to your spell.

I want you to look at me so I can surrender my reservations to you.

Giving you my jokes and camaraderie so that your laughter is a temptation of undress.

Confess!

Confess so I can heal you by the meditative forgiveness I must pardon to you.

For the blasphemy of your presence writes onto the walls the need for redemption.

If my passions resurrect a savior to your transgressions – follow me into this bliss.

Heaven is our journey and we are saints as we relinquish into the fire of paradise.

Inspired BY The Muse Of Native Land.

Ambient Sells

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I had a vision of a day like this only about 3 months ago, a surreal experience alien to my most memorable paralysis. I had just gotten a vehicle and while joyful, I became vexed with worry. “What IF I lose my keys!? What IF someone steals my car” As anything in this material world often allows, possession began to take a toll on me. I started to undress rapidly, the concern for my most prized possession. I soon became suddenly wrapped with a CELL, which seemed to sell me into worthy. O, the cost to sail away by the boat of anxiety.

“I am late for work! Yet, I am very tired! I should get ready to go. The skies are ambient, colors of purple and yellow within a serenade of primitive desire. If only, I could capture the Wisdom of the sky. As I turn on the ignition, I get caught up in the vastness of my sleep. I realize I can’t drive in this state, so I intend on parking my car. However I am laden heavy with exhaustion, so I am going to park it just anywhere. I have to get out! I return to my room, as I lay down to respond to the beckoning exhaust; I awaken suddenly! I am then told; as I prepare to walk outside. “You’re in a cell; don’t sell out when you turn the knob.” As I turn the knob, I notice I am in a jail cell and SUDDENLY SCREAM AND SHOUT, Then I faint to my knees! How could this be true? I suddenly hear a woman’s voice frantically calling my name! ” Jesse!! Jesse!! ” I begin to pray within myself as my hope begins to build upon the next. I feel a rush of sudden relief as the spirit assures me of the great Calm! I awaken again from the state of shock. I walk outside to look for my vehicle, I can’t find it, so I return back to sleep. What becomes of these colors in the sky, is the acceleration of destination.”

Somehow, these events happen but only in a dream-like state. I remember actually believing them to only realize I was caught in Sleep Paralysis.

I remember actually believing them to only realize I was caught in Sleep Paralysis.

Today, I actually became a victim of a collision, caused by a squirrel in the road, which blinded for a moment my friend who ran into the back of my car. I immediately became worried and checked if she was OK and she was although her car was pretty much destroyed, while mine was intact.

Cells lock up inside and the fears we have are often coded and disguised. We must not allow them to SELL themselves to us. The ambient colors often shattering reminders of color. Colors meant to be exhibited!