You Are Invited To #AFLW

You Are Invited To #AFLW

You are invited to August Feels Like Wednesday! The full experience which will be one of narration. Writing sometimes takes the form of songs, poetry, and Narration. Released Late this month 8.28.18.

Mark Your Calendars and get ready to experience food served by various artists! I won’t leave you hanging for too long! There will be plenty of desserts which will be released right before the main course! Be on a lookout on for my Youtube channel and SoundCloud! AND YES – You are on the guest list!

Come as you are! No need to worry about what to wear, or cost. As always donations are always welcomed if you have been blessed by the meal!

#AFLW

 

 

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Cursed Belonging

Cursed Belonging

Cursed be the memory that led me to you – it was an illusion

A trick of the mind which entered me like a toxic pollution

The pollinated air and well-trained disguise guided me by making me adaptive

Those allergies produced a cough and itch that’s prisoned me captive

How could I ever resist that infallible rose

A token of blossom laced with the protection of the thorns which are clothes

I’m cut by the tender clinch

Reminded yet again that everything we hold requires us not to flinch

A forged experience completely entwined by a complex tribe

If we only listened to the call of the shadows – Would this still be a bribe?

Now, I’m like a ghost wishing to belong to a world opposite of the dream

Steady longing for those sketches of empty frames which scream

Envisioning to be filled yet again with color and personality

The curse of belonging is a memory from the heart of commonality but not factuality

Ambiguous Windows

Ambiguous Windows

The rise of the enchanting normal
Separates the odd and the desolate
Ambiguous windows are imagination’s fate

I know that revelation is out there
I can sense the tap on my shoulder
Once turning away from it – the touch persisted and became older
I Can’t find the source of my irritation
Might it be the mind leading me to imagination?

The windows of my confessions are ambiguous
The doors to my certainty are locked away
The key to my access is chained to a combination of gray

Everybody’s looking for a story to relate
Looking at a situation that encourages them to no longer wait
Although I can play recommended part
I can’t convince myself to start

The windows of my confessions are ambiguous
The doors to my certainty are locked away
The key to my access is chained to a combination of gray

When lost to the present idea – I’m pulled by the culture of group think
Everyone abiding by their own ink
If we can believe our own rosy illusion
Why should we run away at confusion

I’ve looked in the mirror far too less
My reflection is anyone’s guess
I much rather look out the window to find anything that can be
Imagination removes the veil and sets us free

The Luxury Of Funkery

The Luxury Of Funkery

When it’s funk – you can pardon the length it takes to prove the point. In fact among all of the distinct solos and rhythmic gliding, who cares if the cup is running over? I remember getting lost in the experience of jams that seemed to last over 30 minutes. I was taken away by the bass and drums – before the guitar or keys ever made their entrance. My feet could not remain still. My face improvised a series of sonnets and joyful disgust. It was ugly. Almost like the spirit of music personally chose me to endow me with the gift of goosebumps over my body.

If you have experienced similar sensations – you know all too well about the luxury of funk. It’s insane and sometimes just ridiculous because sanity goes out the window. It’s something about a thumping bass and horns that blow your head off. If you ever underestimated the power of funk – the funk ain’t ever too far to remind you of its skill. Most of us just look at the table and whatever happens to be on it. We don ’t pay too much attention to what’s supporting it.The legs and bloodline of what helps the table stand are rarely given detailed attention. If you are lost in the groove, rarely is the focus on the buildup. The journey of sound takes you a wide arrange of places.

I was blessed like many others to experience the grace and normality of funk music. The funk was always in my backyard and whenever I needed a flavor I didn’t know I was missing, it would hit me up with no delay. I never got spoiled by it because U Know… “Music Never Lies, You know It’s true!”. I had the pleasure to witness Funk on the regular because I lived in one of the Funk Capitals of the world, Minnesota! An unlikely place to some, unless you knew who Mr. Nelson was. Prince is the embodiment of music and while he played around with various kinds of music – funk is the main ingredient in all of his servings over the years. Rock N Roll for him had to be funky.

Sometimes, life itself can toss us into moments of funk. (No surprise there) An unreasonable desire to screw our faces and shake our heads. This has happened much more often as of late, it’s not hard to understand the flow of why this happens. We all know when we are witnessing a luxury. A remarkable experience is embedded in us and becomes the blueprint of how we value the experience. It’s important to remember the vastness of how many diamonds, emeralds, gold, silver, and jewels exist underneath the core. There are many properties that exist and none of them are mutually exclusive. How we consider worth is often one of heated discourse. The burning need to compare experiences tend to invalidate the individual pieces that embody the whole. (See; Beyoncé vs XYZ)

Nothing is merely created out of the blue. There is an important process and combinative forces that join together. Of course, we don’t think about this. The focus is often on the finished product which is what leads me to my next point about the funk. Funk music takes it time. It might hit you quickly or the bass may be buried in the mix – but it’s there if you pay more attention to the details, it becomes less ambiguous. We should take the time to let each instrument have the ability to solo in a song.

“What my drummer wanna say?
Listen 2 my bass man play
Listen 2 the guitar play”

I live for solos because we all got something to offer. If there’s one thing I can set aside as a valuable experience with Prince, is that he takes you on this journey! He’s shared his life through his music. This is one luxury of FUNK – there are places you did not know you can go. Remember when joining in the journey with Prince – bring your foot pray Cuz it’s gonna be funky!

“Just when U thought it was safe 2 go outside

Eye hit your ass with another funky design

And it’s real good

U thought it wasn’t when U shoulda

Checked yourself before U got another foot in your ass

And now it comes 2 pass another phat shot from the higher class

That’s right, U’re still a rookie, see

Kickin’ it with the grown folks in the wrong key

Honey please, U need 2 find

Somebody that’ll hip U 2 the funky design

Shouts out 2 the rookies, put it in the bank

And let it gain a cent or 2 until it just stanks

And flows, your nose will know

When it’s all wrinkled, then it’s good 2 go

On the fire, I would be a liar

If I didn’t say I wanna take U higher

And hip U 2 the one-eyed bass

Listen 2 the solo while it pleads my case

And just when U thought it was over, it started up again

Kickin’ so loud that it’s sure 2 frighten and win

Gossip again? Ho-hum

Listen 2 my drum

When eye 1st heard ur face

Listen 2 my bass

Time will tell who we r

Listen 2 my guitar”

Getting There

Getting There

FOLLOW ME AS I CAPTURE THE ESSENCE OF THE WIND
WE MAY BEGIN TO REVEAL THE SEEDS OF MY SIN
CRYSTAL STARLIGHT HOVERING OVER YOUR HAIR
A WANDERING CALL BECKONS YOU TO SIT OVER THERE

AND NOW HERE YOU ARE NERVOUS WITH DESIRE
WISHING FOR PURPOSE TO STING YOU WITH A HOLY FIRE
THEY CAN’T SEEM TO SEE THROUGH YOUR OPEN WINDOW
THOUGH YOUR HEART BEATS WITH A CRIPPLING CRESCENDO

LOST IN AN UNKNOWN LAIR – WHERE GOVERNING BEATS REPEAT
SOUNDS GLISTEN PROVIDING RHYTHMIC MEDICINE TO YOUR FEET
A MAP OF PROMISE BEGINS TO ARISE FROM THE SMOKE
A CAT APPEARS TO REMIND YOU OF FATES JOKE

HOW DID YOU EVER FIND THIS ARENA OF CIRCUMSTANCE
WHEN DID YOU EVER FORGET THE CODE OF TRANCE
NOW YOU CAN’T HELP BUT TRIP ON A SLIPPERY BASE
THEY CAN’T UNSEE YOUR BONAFIDE FACE

THE TOKENS HAVE ALL FELL OVER INSIDE A SHALLOW CREEK
AS OUR POCKETS WERE FULL – WE COULD HARDLY SPEAK
BLESSED ARE THE DAGGERING MOTIONS FROM THE SEA
FOR WOE WAS THEE, NO LONGER ME – FOR NOW WE HAVE THE KEY

Obsession With Filling (Feeling) The Page

Obsession With Filling (Feeling) The Page

I gotta feel what I’m writing. In search of this ‘feeling’, I’ve had to wrestle with just how much I’m writing on a page. If I write too little will people think I had little to say? If I write too much – got damn, I’m on my Jester Rants! (Btw, my YouTube channel will resurrect with more content this year!)

I want to win but I know losing is literally trying to find out what people like/want. Trying to fit in what people expect is much like the weather. It changes from day to day, although it’s much easier to know your target market through proper analytics! I must heed this while breaking into new areas.

The motivation, inspiration, and persuasion have always been a wavy sense of connection. I’m an explorer and the more I Search – I see an undeniable encoding in various life experiences.

The more I dig, the greater this connection speaks to me. As I’m writing this – I’m already seeing several ways this blog is gonna go. How do I maintain my focus without losing the ‘feeling’?

You feel me?

It’s important to chase the feeling and follow it wherever it leads you. As of now – my thoughts are leading me to fill the space. We don’t have to keep writing but the more I do – the closer I am to getting to my point.

The lines are drawn and the door is open. The more I write what I feel, the clearer I see how everything is connected. After all, buttons Connect and that’s why we button up our shirts. The symbols I see in everyday interaction come to life through my words. My words will become a platform for discovering the hidden and visible.

I find that at times, I’m caught in between the insufferable *but pleasurable* thigh of allegory and innuendo. I enjoy the warm embrace of making sense out of philosophical possibilities. This can be a task too daunting for my readers. It makes you read a lens not so commonly visited. You stand to benefit with this-this is a remix. Something that’s already been said but my way.

2018 is here and already 14 Days Into it, I’ve had to put in the work before it arrived. I use to say “I always am writing” but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I can’t always write otherwise – I wouldn’t have time to process, read, or observe. What is true though – is I can encourage myself to write with knowledge of a paycheck or simple creative fun. Getting into the habit of writing helps me contextualize those random words that always seem to float somewhere.

This year – I am taking more seriously the notion that I’m writing a book. I’m gonna need your help. It won’t write itself but the basis of it is already laid out.

I’m excited to share with you what more my pen will reveal. After all – It’s all about writing until the pens run out! Only this time – I ain’t doing it just to fill the page as long as I’m feeling it, the hope is that you will too!

Bless up!

The Opening Quest

The Opening Quest

In preparation for further development of my book, I decided to answer several questions from one of my favorite authors Dushka Zapata.

These questions set the tone for 2018 while also inspiring me to invite you to send me questions that you have thought about existence. The goal isn’t to overthink but to answer with what you feel in the heart of the moment.

Here are my favorite 14 questions.

1. “If life had no meaning, what meaning would I create for mine?”

I’d create a meaning that would mean something to me tomorrow. A meaning that has enough nutrition to last for me and those who came after me. If no others came after me then the meaning would have to be enough to satisfy me even when I’m bored. Something to make me laugh and cry because it’s all so beautifully complex.

2. “If there was no purpose to our existence, what purpose would I give to mine to shield myself from existential despair?”

I would make it a mission to make someone think about their life and what they can do with it. I would want them to laugh at how ironic this whole game of life is. I would want to show myself and people around me how life is so short and how we should chase what gives us that rush.

3. “What matters to me? Why? And once I figure this out, can I determine an order of importance?”

Freedom matters most to me. To be at full liberty without the worry that I must stop at the disadvantage of someone’s inability to respect my equilibrium. If I could get out of someone’s way to their freedom. Establishing importance would mean to know it’s not just about me.

4. “Is there a healthy, logical correlation between my priorities and how I spend my time? If not, why?”

I give myself too much time for tasks I feel can wait. I must embed a pattern of usual, so I don’t buy into the distractions because god knows I have binged on many distractions. I think I have bought so much time because I see time as an illusion and I feel I always have time, but I’ve come to realize I don’t always have time. It’s always leaving me when I gain it.

5. “What am I afraid of? Can I learn to distinguish the fear that protects me from the fear that stops me?”

“They say everybody is afraid of something although I don’t know what actually makes me afraid now. I am drawn to the unknown and I believe fear makes us strong at times. I suppose my fear is to be consistent in the most western way of doing it. (I must always pay my bills and have enough left over) Constantly making enough that is sufficient and inspiring enough to last. The best way for me to distinguish it is to fail occasionally and not feel guilty about it.”

6.”What happens when I get what I want? Is it glorious, empty, triumphant, anticlimactic? Why?”

I usually feel content with it. Sometimes when I want something so very badly and get it – I don’t feel like it was worth the wanting. I would like to capture the gloriousness more because there’s substance in playing in that feeling. I think it becomes anticlimactic because I knew I could get it – I just didn’t think I would survive the trip to get there.

7. “What does happiness mean to me? What makes me happy and how can I capture that elusive sensation more often?”

Happiness means more laughter and learning found in simple and complex things. I think if I read more, the joy of happiness will show up more.

8. “What hurts me? How can I become stronger against what causes me to suffer? How and where can I learn to suffer less? How can I remind myself that the person who makes me suffer the most is me?”

I hurt myself when I don’t own up to my decisions and how they influence others. I should remember that I am in the driver’s seat and that my reactions can be calmer. To be mindful of silence and that words don’t always have to be spoken.

9. “What is left of me if I attempt to define myself without leaning on anything I do? I am a student, I am a writer, I am a mom, I am a manager, I am a Vice President – these are all things I do. Who am I? Where is she?”

This is a very complex one. I am here and while I am here, I want to make as much hell and fun on this trip. I observe, sleep, learn and then convert this knowledge into love for everyone around me.

10. “How can I avoid losing myself in my relationships? What are my boundaries and how do I enforce them?”

One way is to have a clear understanding that we do not belong to each other but that we are only appreciating and honoring each other’s company. That we live with the knowledge that we can together but sometimes we may steer to our own strengths by ourselves. I can enforce my boundaries by staying true to myself without shame or pressure.

11. “What do my feelings teach me about myself? If I feel anger or jealousy, can I learn not to react to these feelings but instead determine what they are trying to tell me?”

They are trying to tell me to maybe rearrange what I do not understand. To Ask more questions and to speak softly and to apologize when I’ve assumed too much. I can learn by simply remembering people are often in the same state as me. They just want clarity.

12. “What happens when I sit in silence?”

I find that the stillness in myself is still yearning to speak to myself in riddles of nothing but me, myself, and I.

13. “How can I better manage change? How can I get better at accepting how little control I have?”

Knowing that I did not choose to be born here at the time I was. Some parts are played long before I got here.

14. “How would I like to be remembered?”

“Remembered for good company with a fresh willingness to open a door that people didn’t really think about turning, making them laugh while thinking.”

If you got through all of my answers to these magnificent questions, I applaud your interest endearingly! I encourage you to answer some of these questions as well! I wanted to start 2018 with these questions because they would open up my understanding of myself and where I want to go.

I am making it a mission to write way more while reading, listening, and observing.

We can do this thing together – narrating and asking. This will help us climb the ladder for clarity among all living things!

((*Every 7th of the month from now until March – I’ll post 3 of my favorite questions (& 7 replies) that I find correlates with the book I’m working on! If you have any questions that you have asked at any time // feel free to email me at jesterj7@hotmail.com

Peddle Deep

Peddle Deep

I was peddling so hard – I didn’t know how close I was to falling down, until about 28 minutes ago! Ever get in the mood for just a race? You want to run so far as if some zombie is coming behind you! When you got that kind of motivation your legs become even more determined to go faster!

My legs were fully inspired. By the time, I was just about to get to my destination. It dawned on me – I had to stop before coming body first into a collision. (Duh!) Before nearly crashing -I hit the breaks HARD! So hard where I nearly fell off my damn bike!

Luckily tho, my instincts kicked in right in time for me to feel how close I was to falling off. My hands grabbed the handlebars earnestly. Like a man in love holds his lover in the time of delight, I was holding onto dem bars TIGHT!

Suddenly, my feet slid at an angle where it then dragged for several seconds while gulping equilibrium in the process. To make matters more sensitive – I had on soft Nike’s too. I got up – having realized I made it to my destination without falling off. Basically: It hurt like hell at the time it was all done.

As I walked up to put the bike back in place – I felt a pulsating pain. I legit thought I had fractured my ankle. I was happy I didn’t fall off. If the breaks were not engaged – I would have easily run on various solid surfaces.

I guess it didn’t matter how hard I was peddling – as long as I made it to my destination safely. A bit bruised up? Yes. A pep in my step due to avoiding my body crashing? Yes. But no long-term pains.

This taught me a valuable lesson: No matter how fast you’re going. How determined you are. You’re gonna have to stop. You’d be pressed to remember soon before it’s too late. So, peddle deep but take it easy around the corners – remember to break with a considerable sloth BEFORE arriving at your destination.

Gradual (Not Immediate) Approximately

Gradual (Not Immediate) Approximately

Are you aware of the ‘Trans-Theoretical Model’? (TTM)

It comes in 5 Stages:

(1) Pre-contemplation – When one is unaware that change is necessary.

(2) Contemplation – When one recognizes the problem but not fully committed to changing it.

(3) Preparation – When one decides a change is necessary – When one Makes an effort.

(4) Action – When one puts into motion the action to deal with the problem.

(5) Maintenance – Goes hand in hand with action – Also where urges arise to encourage a relapse into the same behaviors.

We don’t always take into account how long It takes to changing behavioral patterns. As most things in life teach us – it ain’t that simple and the complications should be honored. These steps provide a layout that reminds us of the pieces that form the full picture of recovery. Even when you’re on the last step – it’s important to keep track of progress.

It’s easy and expected to get lost on your road to recovery and it’s very plausible that you may relapse. We aren’t always understanding of this struggle but exercising empathy is one of the best traits we can use for one another. This doesn’t mean we excuse toxic behavior in favor or someone’s journey – but again to exercise empathy is a great reward.

At best we are only approximating solutions. We’re all looking through the glass dimly through scuffs and bruises. Which is close enough, TBh. We are gradually getting to where we need to be. If history serves us correctly, it takes time and failure.

Trial and error.

We can learn an awful lot if we use what’s around us to our advantage. There is a lot which is beyond our reach but so many things close to our distance. It’s better if we deal with what’s in front of us rather than overlook what’s just around the corner.

Which leads me to my next point.

When was the last time you thought about the importance of reading?

NEWS FLASH: Most folks – don’t read.

Headlines are not articles. Articles aren’t always volumes but if properly condensed you can pack a lot of information in a few paragraphs. You don’t have to travel to discover more about the people around you. Reading is fundamental and while this is clear – it’s often forgotten about. Books are becoming less and less interested in mass consumption.

The link between bad behaviors and reading inevitably cross in light of new information.

It suddenly dawned me on just how a vast many of us are indeed ‘programmed’. When I say suddenly – I don’t mean out of nowhere. It didn’t reveal itself from the blanket of nothingness. Rather – upon careful observation of our various climates and conditions. We (Humans) are a special breed of Living energies and the way we cope knowledge and information have never been easier at the dawn of this internet age.

^^ I saw this and laughed myself into a deeply thoughtful analysis which is the basis of this blog post.

How many of us are really informed because of the tools made available to us for FREE on the Internet? Water is life and So is The Internet and I’ve already talked about this before – so I won’t go too far on that.

When I think of being ‘programmed’ it’s not by some pseudo prophetic cyber chip implanted in our fingers and hands. It’s more indirect. We have far better access than we’ve ever had in history. Regardless of this, many of us are ignorant of those around us. We simply don’t know because we’re plugged into the system of paying bills and finding out what’s next to eat. This pattern of daily living can get ruthless and if you’re not stimulating your brain by renewing perspectives – like a languid body sitting constantly, you become stuck.

We may not be DEEP or Intellectual enough to break it down from the micro and macro but with the connection of knowledge, we can stay informed. Don’t know? Get up and exercise your right to ask.

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t have to be all the way there. You can approximate your way to the answer.

Hallow Rush

Hallow Rush

Holy is the night – as the darkness invites all of those who play in sight. The scare of the light is embraced by the thrill of the night. We’re all responsible for the treat, but the master of personal experience is the ultimate trick. Should you? OR Shouldn’t you?

Was it Wrong or right? The ‘evil’ somehow is still followed by good. Could we live in perfect nirvana? Even if we could, how long would it take for someone to raise hell?

It didn’t take Lucifer that long to demand equal rights. Sure, he wanted to imitate but isn’t that the highest form of flattery? Lucifer was an angel, the most decorated angel. But Lucifer was not satisfied with God’s treatment of the angels because God created angels as His slaves (Strange but true). They had no other will but to serve him so maybe his robots?

Eh, you catch my drift.

While humans were given free will. Lucifer wanted this same thing among the angels, to which God didn’t agree. As a result, Lucifer launched a rebellion against God with other angels he persuaded (this means Lucifer had free-will, btw)

Seems to me, Lucifer did not do anything that would be evil by today’s standards. I read the bible enough to see this. 😀

Has he killed people? Nah. Has he destroyed someone else’s life? Nah. Has he tried to be an intruder on something that humans were doing, just out of sheer curiosity? Nah.

(Well technically, God made a deal with the devil to see how long Job could endure a shitty experience.)

Lucifer was just an angel with wit and intelligence. He didn’t kill anybody, nor he did anything immoral by today’s standards. Still, Lucifer is considered “Evil” because he launched a rebellion against God demanding equality of just free-will.

Ah, the philosophy of Free Will!

At any rate, boogie on down with no fear of monsters grooving with you too. It’s all Dichotomy. Some would say darkness opposes light and that monsters and angels aren’t the best of friends.

I think everything has an intricate relationship. It’s all connected. You can’t remove the taboo completely, it adds context to the story. If there wasn’t a thrill of climax, no one would be coming.

Would you really watch a movie if there was no climax? There’s got to be a rush. A Holy Rush!

Halloween is finally here – the treat and the trick. Which one is which?