Hate & Chance

Hate & Chance

What is Hate? Well, hate is given to someone who has shown themselves uninterested in changing. Hate is an itch that must be scratched. Hate is when irresponsible to the ethics of morality (or what is seen as good).

We feel ‘hatred’ often when we are slightly inconvenienced. (It ain’t about you all the time motherfucka) But – It’s a valid feeling when it comes around. It’s almost as sweet as revenge. The passion that comes with hatred can be delightful. It would be like sticking your hands in a pack of skittles and consistently getting red, green, and peach colors. That tropical blend is an exquisite taste and so is hate on occasion! 😀

Hate is a plague and we redeem our connection to it, by divorcing it from our consciousness. Love doesn’t work with someone who can’t understand the language of love. I suppose it can but then it’s transformed into something else. Speaking to someone in riddles only works if they have lunch with the Oracle. Otherwise, riddles and witticisms may come across as nonsensical to others. (Which by then Willy Wonka should have already reminded you – that everyone who buys a ticket, WINS: Although it may not be golden – the chocolate is still good to eat!)

Love makes rooms to sympathize that some are in error and others wish to recover that which has steered off its path. If by chance hate and love work together it is through the fashion like manner of love. Love can be worn on messy bodies – but if you musty, you shouldn’t try on clean clothes. It’s better to wash clean from dirt before wearing new fabrics.

If by chance hate and love can work together – it is through the awareness of harmonic convergence. When the lights gamble with darkness. Either one of them will win at different times.
The chances that hate is seen as love are few in which case, by then…

 

Written days ago but upon the motion of right now – a sadness breeds reflection and resolution.

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The Opening Quest

The Opening Quest

In preparation for further development of my book, I decided to answer several questions from one of my favorite authors Dushka Zapata.

These questions set the tone for 2018 while also inspiring me to invite you to send me questions that you have thought about existence. The goal isn’t to overthink but to answer with what you feel in the heart of the moment.

Here are my favorite 14 questions.

1. “If life had no meaning, what meaning would I create for mine?”

I’d create a meaning that would mean something to me tomorrow. A meaning that has enough nutrition to last for me and those who came after me. If no others came after me then the meaning would have to be enough to satisfy me even when I’m bored. Something to make me laugh and cry because it’s all so beautifully complex.

2. “If there was no purpose to our existence, what purpose would I give to mine to shield myself from existential despair?”

I would make it a mission to make someone think about their life and what they can do with it. I would want them to laugh at how ironic this whole game of life is. I would want to show myself and people around me how life is so short and how we should chase what gives us that rush.

3. “What matters to me? Why? And once I figure this out, can I determine an order of importance?”

Freedom matters most to me. To be at full liberty without the worry that I must stop at the disadvantage of someone’s inability to respect my equilibrium. If I could get out of someone’s way to their freedom. Establishing importance would mean to know it’s not just about me.

4. “Is there a healthy, logical correlation between my priorities and how I spend my time? If not, why?”

I give myself too much time for tasks I feel can wait. I must embed a pattern of usual, so I don’t buy into the distractions because god knows I have binged on many distractions. I think I have bought so much time because I see time as an illusion and I feel I always have time, but I’ve come to realize I don’t always have time. It’s always leaving me when I gain it.

5. “What am I afraid of? Can I learn to distinguish the fear that protects me from the fear that stops me?”

“They say everybody is afraid of something although I don’t know what actually makes me afraid now. I am drawn to the unknown and I believe fear makes us strong at times. I suppose my fear is to be consistent in the most western way of doing it. (I must always pay my bills and have enough left over) Constantly making enough that is sufficient and inspiring enough to last. The best way for me to distinguish it is to fail occasionally and not feel guilty about it.”

6.”What happens when I get what I want? Is it glorious, empty, triumphant, anticlimactic? Why?”

I usually feel content with it. Sometimes when I want something so very badly and get it – I don’t feel like it was worth the wanting. I would like to capture the gloriousness more because there’s substance in playing in that feeling. I think it becomes anticlimactic because I knew I could get it – I just didn’t think I would survive the trip to get there.

7. “What does happiness mean to me? What makes me happy and how can I capture that elusive sensation more often?”

Happiness means more laughter and learning found in simple and complex things. I think if I read more, the joy of happiness will show up more.

8. “What hurts me? How can I become stronger against what causes me to suffer? How and where can I learn to suffer less? How can I remind myself that the person who makes me suffer the most is me?”

I hurt myself when I don’t own up to my decisions and how they influence others. I should remember that I am in the driver’s seat and that my reactions can be calmer. To be mindful of silence and that words don’t always have to be spoken.

9. “What is left of me if I attempt to define myself without leaning on anything I do? I am a student, I am a writer, I am a mom, I am a manager, I am a Vice President – these are all things I do. Who am I? Where is she?”

This is a very complex one. I am here and while I am here, I want to make as much hell and fun on this trip. I observe, sleep, learn and then convert this knowledge into love for everyone around me.

10. “How can I avoid losing myself in my relationships? What are my boundaries and how do I enforce them?”

One way is to have a clear understanding that we do not belong to each other but that we are only appreciating and honoring each other’s company. That we live with the knowledge that we can together but sometimes we may steer to our own strengths by ourselves. I can enforce my boundaries by staying true to myself without shame or pressure.

11. “What do my feelings teach me about myself? If I feel anger or jealousy, can I learn not to react to these feelings but instead determine what they are trying to tell me?”

They are trying to tell me to maybe rearrange what I do not understand. To Ask more questions and to speak softly and to apologize when I’ve assumed too much. I can learn by simply remembering people are often in the same state as me. They just want clarity.

12. “What happens when I sit in silence?”

I find that the stillness in myself is still yearning to speak to myself in riddles of nothing but me, myself, and I.

13. “How can I better manage change? How can I get better at accepting how little control I have?”

Knowing that I did not choose to be born here at the time I was. Some parts are played long before I got here.

14. “How would I like to be remembered?”

“Remembered for good company with a fresh willingness to open a door that people didn’t really think about turning, making them laugh while thinking.”

If you got through all of my answers to these magnificent questions, I applaud your interest endearingly! I encourage you to answer some of these questions as well! I wanted to start 2018 with these questions because they would open up my understanding of myself and where I want to go.

I am making it a mission to write way more while reading, listening, and observing.

We can do this thing together – narrating and asking. This will help us climb the ladder for clarity among all living things!

((*Every 7th of the month from now until March – I’ll post 3 of my favorite questions (& 7 replies) that I find correlates with the book I’m working on! If you have any questions that you have asked at any time // feel free to email me at jesterj7@hotmail.com

Gradual (Not Immediate) Approximately

Gradual (Not Immediate) Approximately

Are you aware of the ‘Trans-Theoretical Model’? (TTM)

It comes in 5 Stages:

(1) Pre-contemplation – When one is unaware that change is necessary.

(2) Contemplation – When one recognizes the problem but not fully committed to changing it.

(3) Preparation – When one decides a change is necessary – When one Makes an effort.

(4) Action – When one puts into motion the action to deal with the problem.

(5) Maintenance – Goes hand in hand with action – Also where urges arise to encourage a relapse into the same behaviors.

We don’t always take into account how long It takes to changing behavioral patterns. As most things in life teach us – it ain’t that simple and the complications should be honored. These steps provide a layout that reminds us of the pieces that form the full picture of recovery. Even when you’re on the last step – it’s important to keep track of progress.

It’s easy and expected to get lost on your road to recovery and it’s very plausible that you may relapse. We aren’t always understanding of this struggle but exercising empathy is one of the best traits we can use for one another. This doesn’t mean we excuse toxic behavior in favor or someone’s journey – but again to exercise empathy is a great reward.

At best we are only approximating solutions. We’re all looking through the glass dimly through scuffs and bruises. Which is close enough, TBh. We are gradually getting to where we need to be. If history serves us correctly, it takes time and failure.

Trial and error.

We can learn an awful lot if we use what’s around us to our advantage. There is a lot which is beyond our reach but so many things close to our distance. It’s better if we deal with what’s in front of us rather than overlook what’s just around the corner.

Which leads me to my next point.

When was the last time you thought about the importance of reading?

NEWS FLASH: Most folks – don’t read.

Headlines are not articles. Articles aren’t always volumes but if properly condensed you can pack a lot of information in a few paragraphs. You don’t have to travel to discover more about the people around you. Reading is fundamental and while this is clear – it’s often forgotten about. Books are becoming less and less interested in mass consumption.

The link between bad behaviors and reading inevitably cross in light of new information.

It suddenly dawned me on just how a vast many of us are indeed ‘programmed’. When I say suddenly – I don’t mean out of nowhere. It didn’t reveal itself from the blanket of nothingness. Rather – upon careful observation of our various climates and conditions. We (Humans) are a special breed of Living energies and the way we cope knowledge and information have never been easier at the dawn of this internet age.

^^ I saw this and laughed myself into a deeply thoughtful analysis which is the basis of this blog post.

How many of us are really informed because of the tools made available to us for FREE on the Internet? Water is life and So is The Internet and I’ve already talked about this before – so I won’t go too far on that.

When I think of being ‘programmed’ it’s not by some pseudo prophetic cyber chip implanted in our fingers and hands. It’s more indirect. We have far better access than we’ve ever had in history. Regardless of this, many of us are ignorant of those around us. We simply don’t know because we’re plugged into the system of paying bills and finding out what’s next to eat. This pattern of daily living can get ruthless and if you’re not stimulating your brain by renewing perspectives – like a languid body sitting constantly, you become stuck.

We may not be DEEP or Intellectual enough to break it down from the micro and macro but with the connection of knowledge, we can stay informed. Don’t know? Get up and exercise your right to ask.

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t have to be all the way there. You can approximate your way to the answer.

HmmMorocco!

HmmMorocco!

The smells. The feels. The luring. The invitation. The persuasion. The price. The Africa! Morocco has been such a thrill since we landed on the soil. There’s a lot about Morocco that I haven’t fully grasped – (like the driving including donkeys, motorcycles, bicycles, and cars). However so much more about it has really inspired me.

Every day so far feels like a new adventure. There’s no real map of reason in terms of what to expect. The roads lead to narrow paths – narrated by a stray cat looking to past you into times past. It’s easy to get lost in the matrix of endless chances to buy and to experience. No amount of preparing can really put you in the place of being ready for what’s around the corner. It can literally be anything – I’ve not yet turned into an empty corner. Even the blankness of some alleys is filled with mystery and impending curiosity.

The best way I could describe it: You’d have to walk the streets to get the best experience of it. Granted, I’ve never been to the third world before this. I’m not even sure why we call it the third world. It’s the same world we live but the rules in how we live are way different. The people here seem so equipped in determining who is a tourist and who isn’t. My partner and I stick out like a sore thumb. She dresses with style and me myself – my hair turns a lot of faces! Some have called me Mr.Obama or even Rastafarian man. At any rate, some are curious in how they determine where someone is from. 😀

I’m living and that’s what it is all about. Life is meant to be shared and with good company, memories are even sweeter. Every color paired with a texture of experience is Kaleidoscopic. We have been on our toes with each moment. Prepared the best way we know how to – something you learn to expect. You can’t always negotiate the inevitable. Whether you are aiming high or low – you’ll land where satisfaction rises to the top.

Hand in hand – Experiences are treasures to the mind. You can never fail at the taste of the different spices. Learning to be educated while also growing to teach what one has gained. So much more to hand out – I’m just getting started. Ain’t it fun?

The Qualified Sum

The Qualified Sum

If you’re gonna play: Rock, Paper, Scissors with me – look directly into my eyes. Only look down when it’s time to decide who won. You’re cheating if you look at the hands the whole time, Don’t debate me – on this! 😀

Games like Rock, Paper, Scissors and Tic Tac Toe (X’s and O’s) are based on specific patterns. If you learn them, you’ll be able to win depending on if your opponent makes a mistake. Worst case scenario is that there would be a tie with no winners or losers. Yay!

I find games like this fun because with enough repetition – your subconscious catches on to how the player makes their move. We don’t always win at this but if you aren’t aware of the algorithm – you’ll find yourself losing more and more. This doesn’t always favor your ego, especially if you’re used to winning.

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Some of us are so bitter when it comes to failing we revise history to our advantage. *coughs – white people* It makes absolutely no sense to do this. It just makes you a sore loser. White Supremacists, Neo-Nazis, and Confederate loving Americans are PRIME at doing this. They don’t wanna look at history for what it is but rather what they want to make out of it.

Times like now are interesting because they force us to examine the ways we cheat at excusing our behavior. We’re afraid of owning up to some of our own biases if they mean proving us wrong.

Ever caught yourself in a: “NOT ALL OF US” KIND OF MOMENT?

It should be painfully obvious that ‘NOT ALL ‘ is dumped in when talking about a group of people. I’ve been seeing a lot of statements like #MenAreTrash – previously, I would get on the defense whenever I’d hear a generality like that because ‘HEY NOT ALL MEN ARE TRASH’.

Now, I knew I had trash ways as a man and I didn’t want to look at them because ‘We all fall short’ but this isn’t the way to go about it. If you don’t fit in the scenario than keep it moving.

Some are qualified in the variables made – if you don’t fit the shoe, don’t even try to wear it. Our egos can be big and to check ourselves is the easiest thing we can do if our feelings start running amuck.

In short: We qualify which moves we make on the board. The best we can aim for is to even out. We don’t gotta get mad if it ain’t about us. One of the best things I learned from my grandmother is “Everything ain’t about you and trust me – that’s a good thing!.”

SYZYGY 21.

SYZYGY 21.

A solar eclipse is a lineup of the Sun, the Moon, and Earth. (Also known as a syzygy.)

The Moon, directly between the Sun and Earth, casts a shadow on our planet.

It’s something that rarely happens, but every once a while we have the fortune of experiencing it.

The Moon has to be between the Sun and Earth for a solar eclipse to occur. The only lunar phase when that happens is the New Moon, which happens to be tonight!

Where I am (Örebro, Sweden) We are unable to see the Solar Eclipse.

However, in light of this phenomenon – I wrote a poem which is featured below.

Syzygy 21

Syzygy, oh Syzygy – what a name to pronounce.

This is perhaps the reason you visit at infrequent hours.

Like the rising sun which comes to return a promise of a new day.

These are the glories that awaken us to dream without borders.

There’s a story in the stars waiting to be heard by our steady focus.

Looking widely with enlarged renewal entrances – our perspective refreshes again.

A shower to experience – a sight to behold.

Can you taste the connections as they subtract and multiply?

The moon up above desires to know us through our changing phases.

Those patterns that we can’t predict – the moon shares the same fate.

It is now the time of the alarm again only this time, some may not hear it.

Their lunacy has become full of unforeseen reasons.

But they may take hope! For the eclipse shall come again – in the future years where they’ll be ready for it.

This time now – We’ll glance through the computer screen to awe at the impending joy of these fragile moments.

For with my senses I can feel the power and my eyes can taste the light.

The new moon is invisible from our eyes, yet this is a time where all is full and aligned.

The black moon now creates a pressing desire to be found in the key of turning graces.

Serene glistens are carried in those who can catch with their eyes – a sight to behold for a lifetime.

But if by chance you again, miss a site like this due to the arrangement of time and circumstance.

Staring at the blanket in the sky will remind you of a light that’s been here long before you got here.

The Syzygy 21 transforms passions of desire with elation into poetic song.

Morning Breath

Morning Breath

It’s not easy finding out what to do next, it’s scary because next could mean losing what you love or even fought for. However, leaps of faith are necessary for growth.

Sometimes, you have to grow without the comfort of the familiar. If you’re only on the cusp of what’s been given to you – how do you know what can be obtained? What can be dreamed of? What can be seen for what it is?

The future is all that imagination is capable of creating. We don’t always know presently how the future works but our goals provide the map to those various destinations. There is often a gap to the places that are near and far away. Which is why setting a goal at least creates a bridge to get there.

While on the way to your destination, life offers you various moments to learn something. Some people think you’re fucked when you don’t know, however, it’s when you learn about life when you realize how fucked you are.

The mind can enter early crises of thought when you think of what you eat, drink, think, wear, feel, know, don’t know, etc.

But be encouraged cuz knowledge is power and actually protects you from the dangers of not knowing. There’s so much to know and yet so much to discover. When you open your ears to all that’s available – you’ll constantly thirst for more.

There is no shortage of what you can learn in the universe. Just the idea of the universe itself expands so much interest for me. I never get tired of learning from the stars and galaxies around me. I still don’t seem to know shit about it in detail – cuz it’s so vast and ever expanding but still, it’s still so near.

I’m an astronaut in space, tethered to observation and a think tank.

We can get so caught up in what’s happening we often don’t consider just how close we are to being bitten.

Around the corner is what’s next and what’s next may have sharper teeth and to be bitten by the venom ain’t such a bad thing. You might get paralyzed by the bite. Unfortunately, Tragedy may lead to clarity – but everything is looking up! *When you low to the ground.*

When I think about how something ‘Happened’ I always have a better way of how I could have gone around it AFTER. Hindsight renews our ability to frame what we didn’t see before. I use to spend so much time – thinking how I could have said this or said that.

HindsightJB

It seems now, the best option for me mostly is to be quiet, that way I can’t be accused of saying something when I didn’t say nothing at all. You have to pay for saying nothing tho cuz then people will think you weren’t listening. 😀

I think a reason why things happen like this is something that no one can avoid, no matter how hard they try and that’s Morning Breath. No matter how much you brush your teeth the night before. Even if you set an alarm in the middle of the night to brush – if you go back to sleep. There it is waiting for you.

When you wake up and make that first statement – if you’re too close to someone else, they’ll recognize the inescapable. Morning Breath comes without apology. You have to brush your teeth before you open your mouth to speak. You may also find someone who will tolerate your Morning Breath (for a period of time) until they even remind you about Brushing Your Teeth.

We are all alike in this way. Everyone has Morning Breath and everyone can do something before we allow others to deal with it. We can all be silent but eventually, we’re gonna wanna say something. Just make sure before you speak – you’re prepared with a proper wash. It’ll help prepare you for what happens next – no matter how hard the teeth may bite.

BaManifesto💥

BaManifesto💥

What’s gained is lost.

By the measures of reduction via conversion. You can’t have a proper conversation without some kind of reduction.

Don’t let this dismay or upset you.
Life is also about the giving and the taking. Basically: you gotta pay da bills.

I know – crazy right? You got to work to survive on a planet you didn’t even ask to be in. That’s a reason to be upset sometimes.

The less you have the more is expected to be given.

Society tends to be stupid. Yeah, I think you know that by now but it’s stupider than you think. Society forces you to talk when silence is needed.

You can’t do anything that is validated anymore because if your audience reach is everyone – you’ll certainly disappoint someone.

Hence the stupidity of society – you get framed when you ain’t even the picture. You won’t be able to please everyone because some people require different lengths of a garment for what’s fitted.

If you do it – it’s a REACH. If you don’t do it – you missed the opportunity to cash in. So either way // What’s gained is lost. The flow of what’s good comes at a cost.

How well are you counting the steps to what’s gonna turn into a disaster?

It’s only a matter of time before it all hits a landslide. Then BAM – you gotta deal with the explosive manifesto.

LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST!

You can burn with the fire of the sun and drown in the water of life. Before the alarm goes off you have to make sure you’re prepared. I’m doing what I have to do so I’ll arrive on time. This doesn’t stop, parallel winds that confuse you and aim to confiscate your jewelry and chains.

Before you know it, you’re left penniless and homeless.

No place to go only hopeful dreams to fill the void in your head. If only you invested your last change – your wallet would be fat and your cards stacked. The course of life left you with only the leaves of spring.

The wind remains a charm to your destination. Like a bag in the air- you’ll fly away with a random gust of navigation. The atom then splits and the party invites you to come and groove.

I’m cool on that as long as I don’t buy into thoughts that I can’t compensate. Beyond the light – we all ache to compensate for the darkness we have not yet found.

This darkness is within us and we can’t escape the pull of its fierce reality.

From the sadness of childhood contemplation, we then reach inside our souls. These tears are found within the wishing well of our remembrance. For we can not neglect the motions that have brought conviction to the current.

Waves are set and have boarded in a resistance that must be awakened. For sleeping in the dream is an alarm to our subconscious. It’s no wonder why we react because our childhood has been tortured.

The passages of neglect have been misplaced on the shelf. A book like this is to be remembered and the mirror shows us our deepest revelations. Honest trees are in our garden and those seeds were planted decades before.

The wind blows against the branches and when the moonlight shines – the darkness returns. Only to be remembered by a shadow cast by the dim light upon the roots.

Choices – Nikki Giovanni

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Poetry unlocks the romance of words joined with a window through innuendo. Crescendo or more – there is a triple sensation of heaven by the third dimension. As far as I’m able to travel // I’m rallying the rope with a firm grip by the symbol of illustration. Words become more like a character when joined with setting and power of delivery. In poetry living in the parenthesis is safer than living by the literal lines. So, what I’m saying is inside the innuendo of the said text. Thanks to poetry -it may seem invisible // completely faded from the picture, but actually – it’s in the background hidden as an extra. They’ll get it on the way back home. Like a dream, being reminded that what they saw in intense observation was recorded by a poetic lens.

In honor of #WorldPoetryDay // One of my favorites by Nikki Giovanni – Choices. This one feels like water streaming down to my esophagus into my belly. It fills me with complete compatibility and parallel syncopation. It eases the quest, if only for a little while. Thank you, Nikki!

Tip For The Hip

Tip For The Hip

Here’s a tip for the hip // dancing with the devil is sometimes fun because the party is in the moonlight. It’s not always what it seems or looks like it can be. Inside every soul is a treasure to be found, light to be illuminated and shared. Whenever you are able to give – give with honest delivery. Don’t worry too much about what you stumble on. Dip your whip!