Why I Embrace The Absurd

Why I Embrace The Absurd

I have been reading a lot of Albert Camus (One of my favorite philosophers) and his book ‘The Myth of Sisyphus’ has stirred within me various questions about existence and just how absurd our lives are. (Especially if you’re living your life like me without a religious meaning) I find purpose in what is unresolved and brought together by a random chaos of meaning. Here are 3 of my favorite quotes *at the moment* from the book.

“It is probably true that a man remains forever unknown to us and that there is in him something irreducible that escapes us. But practically I know men and recognize them by their behavior, by the totality of their deeds, by the consequences caused in life by their presence. Likewise, all those irrational feelings which offer no purchase to analysis. “

“The absurd is born of this confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world.”

“”The absurd has meaning only in so far as it is not agreed to. There exists an obvious fact that seems utterly mortal: namely, that a man is always a prey to his truths. Once he had admitted them, he cannot free himself from them.

While I understand the importance of order and structure somethings are better of in between the thigh of the absurd.

The looooonnng and short of this video is, while I can go several places at the same time, it’s about the journey. If stepping into the void lands you on something squishy and wet – may the funk bless your consistency. 😀

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Levitating of LOVE

Levitating of LOVE

She started polishing my shoe but then told me that we weren’t going anywhere…YET

By the time she was finished – I had a pulsating shine.

I was ready to walk down the halls with my boot, you see?

I was ready to read.

The book was very exciting and I could tell line by line – how enthralled I was beginning to feel.

I started with the preface. It was a proper introduction as it briefed me on what I was about to witness.

I became even more earnest when realizing how inviting the chapters were.

I then began to turn the pages.

The crisp sound made me even more anxious to reach the climax.

SuggestiveReads-3.jpg

Keep Reading…

I’m sure I won’t be putting this book down anytime soon.

We both started to levitate and by the end of the book – the closing chapter read as follows:

In love, we can levitate
Not just by the ascension of the sky
But also falling down with hope
That we may land on the grass but if not
Our splattering bodies can transform what is yet to be known
Our tissues, blood, nerves, and bones are evidence of
What we can’t see is that which keeps us alive
ACTUALLY
Maybe it’s better – if we lay together without falling
For a rest, we will remember when our dreams invite us to sleep
Just thinking of the destinations we can explore and how much fun we’ll have
Yet – Those places don’t compare to the journey found with you
Holding your hand is magic plush
I can think of nothing better than to be with you
Half of what I am must be spent with you
The other half of me is mining how I should repay you for blessing me
I’m never breathing this moment because I have so much more to give
It’s true – a token like this is rare and newly found
I’m giving it to you and in return, we can be as wealthy as ascending atoms

DEDICATED: To all of the book(s), I’ve had the pleasure to read. Thank you for allowing me to levitate in love. ❤ 

 

Reclaiming: They Said

Reclaiming: They Said

Writing a new thing or an old thing – just as long as the flame can keep me warm. The cold flickering of life’s surprises – are we ever safe from the impending frostbite? The danger that is trapped inside of a cage of our reactions. We can choose to engage – or simply turn the page, the text remains the same morning or night. When troubles come to visit you uninvited – I encourage you to invite it in. It may make you cry or what’s worst – really tear you up inside and create a dark black hole.

I promise it’ll be worth it. You might explore things that aren’t so bad to learn. Mellow in the confusion – bake your cake and share it with someone you love. The heat is on and will soon burn into nothing but smoke. Don’t regret your time – like they say “Reclaim it”. It’s just a couple of long weeks here on earth. Some are spent wisely while others are forgotten like last weeks meal. Remember how good it was then? How much you savored the seasonings paired perfectly with a flask of wine? It was delicious and so is the memory of it – but that’s all it is now.

A forgotten moment stored only by a fraction of your senses. It’s much more – like a light to your mind is a pathway to your desires. When all is said and done – why not run? There’ll be a time you won’t be able to. When you keep on living things just get out of place.

Joints become rusty, pain becomes more practiced. “Use what you got and spend what isn’t yours” that’s what they say. That’s what ends up happening anyway, we are on borrowed tools and land. Truth be told mostly stolen – justice can’t prevail until we acknowledge this. Life is a precious commodity to some but an interesting journey to some. Living and resting. “Take what you can but always remember to leave what no longer suits you.” That’s what they said.

They have said a lot and it doesn’t all have to be in vain or to fall on deaf ears. If we know what they said – then we can live off what it may mean for now. A lot of what is said is based off myths that were created to control behaviors. This isn’t to say we can’t function behind these myths and reach some higher ground. Before you reclaim it – keep in mind some of what has been said was at a different time. The importance of context mustn’t lose its meaning due to how edgy whatever you’re claiming may feel. For example: If you wanna reclaim a concept that has been used to manipulate others – that’s gonna come with various consequences. It’s always better to be aware of the timing of such reclaims!

At any rate: Reclaim what’s yours to use for the service to others. As Maxine says it honestly with no feelings or resolve. It ain’t about offending but knowing what you can do. People have been saying a lot of things since time immortal – why not take back on what was done and remix it to your liking? All the while being aware of origin.

MaxineStraightFace
WITH THIS FACE WHILE DOING IT.

Curious Causation

Curious Causation

1

It takes screws, nails. hinges, tape, glue, etc. We can get there using one method but if we are looking for an effective build – wouldn’t Structure be plural? 

2

 It’s either Jesus or what? Eternal damnation? A life without joy? Must the answer include Jesus? Imagination has the power to whip us into exclusive multiple choice.

3

Jesus is often seen as an example. If you ain’t doing what Jesus did or living out of what Jesus has done. There seems to be a condemnation set for you. Until you live – YOUR LIFE. This life is yours and the moment is yours to live!

4

All of us SHOULD take care of each other. At various times, we get it confused and feel it’s just about where we are going. It doesn’t hurt to forget – we are all in this together. Whether we like this or not – how we respond to service to one another is what makes the difference.

5

This is something we have heard all of our lives. Humans assign meaning where they choose to. I suppose, if one is to stare at their life and why they’re here – they’d have questions and connect answers to what’s been revealed so far. If they choose to value their lives to a destiny, that’s their prerogative.

6

Belief is how philosophers and psychiatrists spend a lot of their time. Without belief, a lot of people would be out of a job and determination. 

7

If you’re anything like me. You’re curious. Curious as to why things are and what motivates us to arrive at the various conclusions. What caused this? I don’t think we’ll ever fully arrive at all of the questions we have. That’s OK because life is a trip! I ain’t gonna be tripping on how you experience the fullness of your trip! These series of questions mainly dealt with ‘Belief’ and how are our hearts are conditioned to see.  I want to mainly remind people – It ain’t about what you don’t believe in.

A lot of us have the answers already. How do you treat people? How are you being there for people? When will people start seeing that empathy is a two-way street? Some of my questions may offend or merely ignite your curiosity. In the process of writing this book – more questions have come to surface. It’s safe to say – the book is writing itself. It won’t entirely center around ‘FAITH, GOD, HEAVEN, HELL, EMPATHY’ or any other serious concepts. There’s gonna be a lot of fiction and dreamlike conclusions. Through it all, I’ve come to realize – Humans and Nature are the creators to most of what we see.

Who’s to blame? HUMANS. People make art and people invent exactly what they want them to see. Distortion of the facts is just as real as the clear reason some put up walls.I believe in people – people are capable of treating each other with respect. THIS ISN’T ALWAYS EASY BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN BE THE TRUEST ASSHOLES IN ALL OF LIVING EXISTENCE. (More on that later) I am constantly understanding the role of religion, philosophy, politics, etc in human consciousness. In terms of how we got here – there’s a different answer for each branch of knowledge. It’s not always about being right or wrong. You don’t have to hang it on your wall or frame it – but explore it. Sit with it. Let life consistently be a compass. We got a long way to go and so much more to learn. This is a cause for celebration!

“There’s A Freedom That’s Arriving
You Can Feel It In Your Soul
Liberation Will Salute You
&
Release What No Longer Suits You!” – NEW WORLD FORMING /SANANDA

Ultraviolet Bloom (Sensory Illumination)

Ultraviolet Bloom (Sensory Illumination)

It is with pleasure and joy I announce my new music video for a song I composed late last year – Ultraviolet-Bloom which is also known as Sensory Illumination! The music and the music video was done by Jeremy Garner.

In light of the vast amount of creative work me and Jeremy have created over the years, we decided it would be appropriate to have a central place where you can find our various contributions of the years! We call it Planit Jade!

PJ.jpg

It’s way overdue for us to have a central place in the world to see what we’ve done together. Some of our first creative pieces were done as early as 2014. Usually – I am writing along under the power of inspiration and I’ll share it with Jeremy and he has a unique ability to bring those words to life. Ultraviolet Bloom is another one of those occasions where it came to fullness. I can’t thank Jeremy enough for his willingness and excitement to help bring these visions to life. It always starts as something small than before you know it – It’s fully formed.

Sensory Illumination is one of those magical journey’s that takes you through intricate halls in my mind. The music takes you away from the heart to mind. Womb and Bloom! You can listen to this song in full here.

For never was my reason to understand
That would only mean I would have to learn
My spirit wished to only kiss the space in between giving and taking
My Flesh feels the emotion of touch and while knowledge comes closer to me
Bumps begins to race up and down my skin

Sensory Illumination
Ultraviolet bloom
Hearts are taking
Ultraviolet Womb

Where Was I?
Lost in the green meadows
A sanctuary found in the grass
My spirit half past awake and dead
Are we to begin where our hearts have fluttered?

Sensory Illumination
Ultraviolet Womb
Heart is taken
Ultraviolet Bloom

Born into a world that I never knew
Feelings overtaking me – gaining strength in places unbeknown to me
Poltergeist intentions seeking to overthrow this sinking place
A ghost of desire visiting me in cracked halls
Wishing she was found but in belly, we have began

Sensory Illumination
Ultraviolet Bloom
Mind is gone
Ultraviolet Womb

In my travels from dark to light
All are opened up to me – to find
To scatter – to miss place and to redeem
AM I feeling this light or is darkness finding me home?
Gone where all questions go in search for destiny
Trapped like light inside a pyramid A bloom of ultraviolet sensory illumination
Heart is taken
Mind is gone
Ultraviolet Womb

ThEnDance (Sort of Dead)

ThEnDance (Sort of Dead)

”The dance at the end
Our memories and genetics – will they transcend?
What’s left of the impact we leave behind?
The matrix of life – does it fully unwind?
How are we then able to know?
When death reveals its face – do we all glow?
The insatiable hope that our actions aren’t in vain
That we’ll find a storage facility in some Human brain
Our lives are all but smoke cast into the air
Wishing to be smelled by the nose of those that dare
A compatible willingness to be remembered by the spices of our scent
Various pictures of our taste set aside as a tent in one’s mind
We all long to be remembered with a nostalgic bind
Experiences, memories, and our written history are the makeup of our lives
The dance floor is where we release – our collective archives”

Obsession With Filling (Feeling) The Page

Obsession With Filling (Feeling) The Page

I gotta feel what I’m writing. In search of this ‘feeling’, I’ve had to wrestle with just how much I’m writing on a page. If I write too little will people think I had little to say? If I write too much – got damn, I’m on my Jester Rants! (Btw, my YouTube channel will resurrect with more content this year!)

I want to win but I know losing is literally trying to find out what people like/want. Trying to fit in what people expect is much like the weather. It changes from day to day, although it’s much easier to know your target market through proper analytics! I must heed this while breaking into new areas.

The motivation, inspiration, and persuasion have always been a wavy sense of connection. I’m an explorer and the more I Search – I see an undeniable encoding in various life experiences.

The more I dig, the greater this connection speaks to me. As I’m writing this – I’m already seeing several ways this blog is gonna go. How do I maintain my focus without losing the ‘feeling’?

You feel me?

It’s important to chase the feeling and follow it wherever it leads you. As of now – my thoughts are leading me to fill the space. We don’t have to keep writing but the more I do – the closer I am to getting to my point.

The lines are drawn and the door is open. The more I write what I feel, the clearer I see how everything is connected. After all, buttons Connect and that’s why we button up our shirts. The symbols I see in everyday interaction come to life through my words. My words will become a platform for discovering the hidden and visible.

I find that at times, I’m caught in between the insufferable *but pleasurable* thigh of allegory and innuendo. I enjoy the warm embrace of making sense out of philosophical possibilities. This can be a task too daunting for my readers. It makes you read a lens not so commonly visited. You stand to benefit with this-this is a remix. Something that’s already been said but my way.

2018 is here and already 14 Days Into it, I’ve had to put in the work before it arrived. I use to say “I always am writing” but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I can’t always write otherwise – I wouldn’t have time to process, read, or observe. What is true though – is I can encourage myself to write with knowledge of a paycheck or simple creative fun. Getting into the habit of writing helps me contextualize those random words that always seem to float somewhere.

This year – I am taking more seriously the notion that I’m writing a book. I’m gonna need your help. It won’t write itself but the basis of it is already laid out.

I’m excited to share with you what more my pen will reveal. After all – It’s all about writing until the pens run out! Only this time – I ain’t doing it just to fill the page as long as I’m feeling it, the hope is that you will too!

Bless up!

The Opening Quest

The Opening Quest

In preparation for further development of my book, I decided to answer several questions from one of my favorite authors Dushka Zapata.

These questions set the tone for 2018 while also inspiring me to invite you to send me questions that you have thought about existence. The goal isn’t to overthink but to answer with what you feel in the heart of the moment.

Here are my favorite 14 questions.

1. “If life had no meaning, what meaning would I create for mine?”

I’d create a meaning that would mean something to me tomorrow. A meaning that has enough nutrition to last for me and those who came after me. If no others came after me then the meaning would have to be enough to satisfy me even when I’m bored. Something to make me laugh and cry because it’s all so beautifully complex.

2. “If there was no purpose to our existence, what purpose would I give to mine to shield myself from existential despair?”

I would make it a mission to make someone think about their life and what they can do with it. I would want them to laugh at how ironic this whole game of life is. I would want to show myself and people around me how life is so short and how we should chase what gives us that rush.

3. “What matters to me? Why? And once I figure this out, can I determine an order of importance?”

Freedom matters most to me. To be at full liberty without the worry that I must stop at the disadvantage of someone’s inability to respect my equilibrium. If I could get out of someone’s way to their freedom. Establishing importance would mean to know it’s not just about me.

4. “Is there a healthy, logical correlation between my priorities and how I spend my time? If not, why?”

I give myself too much time for tasks I feel can wait. I must embed a pattern of usual, so I don’t buy into the distractions because god knows I have binged on many distractions. I think I have bought so much time because I see time as an illusion and I feel I always have time, but I’ve come to realize I don’t always have time. It’s always leaving me when I gain it.

5. “What am I afraid of? Can I learn to distinguish the fear that protects me from the fear that stops me?”

“They say everybody is afraid of something although I don’t know what actually makes me afraid now. I am drawn to the unknown and I believe fear makes us strong at times. I suppose my fear is to be consistent in the most western way of doing it. (I must always pay my bills and have enough left over) Constantly making enough that is sufficient and inspiring enough to last. The best way for me to distinguish it is to fail occasionally and not feel guilty about it.”

6.”What happens when I get what I want? Is it glorious, empty, triumphant, anticlimactic? Why?”

I usually feel content with it. Sometimes when I want something so very badly and get it – I don’t feel like it was worth the wanting. I would like to capture the gloriousness more because there’s substance in playing in that feeling. I think it becomes anticlimactic because I knew I could get it – I just didn’t think I would survive the trip to get there.

7. “What does happiness mean to me? What makes me happy and how can I capture that elusive sensation more often?”

Happiness means more laughter and learning found in simple and complex things. I think if I read more, the joy of happiness will show up more.

8. “What hurts me? How can I become stronger against what causes me to suffer? How and where can I learn to suffer less? How can I remind myself that the person who makes me suffer the most is me?”

I hurt myself when I don’t own up to my decisions and how they influence others. I should remember that I am in the driver’s seat and that my reactions can be calmer. To be mindful of silence and that words don’t always have to be spoken.

9. “What is left of me if I attempt to define myself without leaning on anything I do? I am a student, I am a writer, I am a mom, I am a manager, I am a Vice President – these are all things I do. Who am I? Where is she?”

This is a very complex one. I am here and while I am here, I want to make as much hell and fun on this trip. I observe, sleep, learn and then convert this knowledge into love for everyone around me.

10. “How can I avoid losing myself in my relationships? What are my boundaries and how do I enforce them?”

One way is to have a clear understanding that we do not belong to each other but that we are only appreciating and honoring each other’s company. That we live with the knowledge that we can together but sometimes we may steer to our own strengths by ourselves. I can enforce my boundaries by staying true to myself without shame or pressure.

11. “What do my feelings teach me about myself? If I feel anger or jealousy, can I learn not to react to these feelings but instead determine what they are trying to tell me?”

They are trying to tell me to maybe rearrange what I do not understand. To Ask more questions and to speak softly and to apologize when I’ve assumed too much. I can learn by simply remembering people are often in the same state as me. They just want clarity.

12. “What happens when I sit in silence?”

I find that the stillness in myself is still yearning to speak to myself in riddles of nothing but me, myself, and I.

13. “How can I better manage change? How can I get better at accepting how little control I have?”

Knowing that I did not choose to be born here at the time I was. Some parts are played long before I got here.

14. “How would I like to be remembered?”

“Remembered for good company with a fresh willingness to open a door that people didn’t really think about turning, making them laugh while thinking.”

If you got through all of my answers to these magnificent questions, I applaud your interest endearingly! I encourage you to answer some of these questions as well! I wanted to start 2018 with these questions because they would open up my understanding of myself and where I want to go.

I am making it a mission to write way more while reading, listening, and observing.

We can do this thing together – narrating and asking. This will help us climb the ladder for clarity among all living things!

((*Every 7th of the month from now until March – I’ll post 3 of my favorite questions (& 7 replies) that I find correlates with the book I’m working on! If you have any questions that you have asked at any time // feel free to email me at jesterj7@hotmail.com

Peddle Deep

Peddle Deep

I was peddling so hard – I didn’t know how close I was to falling down, until about 28 minutes ago! Ever get in the mood for just a race? You want to run so far as if some zombie is coming behind you! When you got that kind of motivation your legs become even more determined to go faster!

My legs were fully inspired. By the time, I was just about to get to my destination. It dawned on me – I had to stop before coming body first into a collision. (Duh!) Before nearly crashing -I hit the breaks HARD! So hard where I nearly fell off my damn bike!

Luckily tho, my instincts kicked in right in time for me to feel how close I was to falling off. My hands grabbed the handlebars earnestly. Like a man in love holds his lover in the time of delight, I was holding onto dem bars TIGHT!

Suddenly, my feet slid at an angle where it then dragged for several seconds while gulping equilibrium in the process. To make matters more sensitive – I had on soft Nike’s too. I got up – having realized I made it to my destination without falling off. Basically: It hurt like hell at the time it was all done.

As I walked up to put the bike back in place – I felt a pulsating pain. I legit thought I had fractured my ankle. I was happy I didn’t fall off. If the breaks were not engaged – I would have easily run on various solid surfaces.

I guess it didn’t matter how hard I was peddling – as long as I made it to my destination safely. A bit bruised up? Yes. A pep in my step due to avoiding my body crashing? Yes. But no long-term pains.

This taught me a valuable lesson: No matter how fast you’re going. How determined you are. You’re gonna have to stop. You’d be pressed to remember soon before it’s too late. So, peddle deep but take it easy around the corners – remember to break with a considerable sloth BEFORE arriving at your destination.

Gradual (Not Immediate) Approximately

Gradual (Not Immediate) Approximately

Are you aware of the ‘Trans-Theoretical Model’? (TTM)

It comes in 5 Stages:

(1) Pre-contemplation – When one is unaware that change is necessary.

(2) Contemplation – When one recognizes the problem but not fully committed to changing it.

(3) Preparation – When one decides a change is necessary – When one Makes an effort.

(4) Action – When one puts into motion the action to deal with the problem.

(5) Maintenance – Goes hand in hand with action – Also where urges arise to encourage a relapse into the same behaviors.

We don’t always take into account how long It takes to changing behavioral patterns. As most things in life teach us – it ain’t that simple and the complications should be honored. These steps provide a layout that reminds us of the pieces that form the full picture of recovery. Even when you’re on the last step – it’s important to keep track of progress.

It’s easy and expected to get lost on your road to recovery and it’s very plausible that you may relapse. We aren’t always understanding of this struggle but exercising empathy is one of the best traits we can use for one another. This doesn’t mean we excuse toxic behavior in favor or someone’s journey – but again to exercise empathy is a great reward.

At best we are only approximating solutions. We’re all looking through the glass dimly through scuffs and bruises. Which is close enough, TBh. We are gradually getting to where we need to be. If history serves us correctly, it takes time and failure.

Trial and error.

We can learn an awful lot if we use what’s around us to our advantage. There is a lot which is beyond our reach but so many things close to our distance. It’s better if we deal with what’s in front of us rather than overlook what’s just around the corner.

Which leads me to my next point.

When was the last time you thought about the importance of reading?

NEWS FLASH: Most folks – don’t read.

Headlines are not articles. Articles aren’t always volumes but if properly condensed you can pack a lot of information in a few paragraphs. You don’t have to travel to discover more about the people around you. Reading is fundamental and while this is clear – it’s often forgotten about. Books are becoming less and less interested in mass consumption.

The link between bad behaviors and reading inevitably cross in light of new information.

It suddenly dawned me on just how a vast many of us are indeed ‘programmed’. When I say suddenly – I don’t mean out of nowhere. It didn’t reveal itself from the blanket of nothingness. Rather – upon careful observation of our various climates and conditions. We (Humans) are a special breed of Living energies and the way we cope knowledge and information have never been easier at the dawn of this internet age.

^^ I saw this and laughed myself into a deeply thoughtful analysis which is the basis of this blog post.

How many of us are really informed because of the tools made available to us for FREE on the Internet? Water is life and So is The Internet and I’ve already talked about this before – so I won’t go too far on that.

When I think of being ‘programmed’ it’s not by some pseudo prophetic cyber chip implanted in our fingers and hands. It’s more indirect. We have far better access than we’ve ever had in history. Regardless of this, many of us are ignorant of those around us. We simply don’t know because we’re plugged into the system of paying bills and finding out what’s next to eat. This pattern of daily living can get ruthless and if you’re not stimulating your brain by renewing perspectives – like a languid body sitting constantly, you become stuck.

We may not be DEEP or Intellectual enough to break it down from the micro and macro but with the connection of knowledge, we can stay informed. Don’t know? Get up and exercise your right to ask.

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t have to be all the way there. You can approximate your way to the answer.