Pursuit // Pleasure

Pursuit // Pleasure

*The following script, is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…” which is due for release at the beginning of 2019.

Palmar: Hey, have you tried the new app Fructose that allows you to explore the depths of glucose?

Allegra: Ah! Yes! It’s so good. Every time I think I should put it down – it proves me to be a liar because I can’t let it go. It’s like that chip you keep coming back too and the lemonade your grandmother makes! It’s just addictive like crack, honestly! lol!

Palmar: That’s what I heard and probably precisely why I ain’t trying to give it a go. I don’t want to do anything that makes me a slave to it.

Allegra: Who claimed you’d be a slave to it?

Palmar: Well, you mentioned crack and grandma’s lemonade…I’d say it’s quite powerful. Powerful enough to be the master of your senses. If it makes you a liar that means you can’t contest it.

Allegra: I never tried to contest it because I enjoy indulging it so much.

Palmar: Have you tried to abstain from it to see how your body would react to it?

Allegra: I ain’t trying to break away from it because I worry I might be dependent on it and you know the body develops dependence to some substances. If an alcoholic goes cold turkey it could literally kill them because they abused it for so long.

Palmar: So, would you say you abuse fructose?

Allegra: I suppose, I do. But we all abuse various things in life – I don’t think it’s a big deal.

Palmar: If you don’t want to live long and develop various diseases – you do have a point.

Allegra: Yeah but I don’t see why you are making it seem as if pursuing pleasure is a bad thing, we all have our various vices.

Palmar: You know what they say: Everything in moderation. If you feel you can’t resist fructose you might to want to start cutting it out one day at a time. Cold turkey might not be the best alternative but slowly breaking away from your addiction secures a better future for your mental and physical health.

Allegra: But I like fructose, why break away from what I like?

Palmar: Not all vices are remedies to the consequences that come from them.

Allegra: Ok. Well, I’m going to do me, and you can do you.

Palmar: So, are you saying you rather continue to head down a cycle of abuse because this is YOU right now?

Allegra: All I said is I’ll do me, and you will do you. I never asked you to lecture me about the dangers of fructose. I am aware of how bad it could be. However, as with anything they’re loopholes.

Palmar: I reckon those loopholes are very few.

Allegra: So, are you going to interrogate me about this from this day forth? Are you going to continually remind me how I’m killing myself and recommend me articles and links to help me get better or what? Do you think most obese and overweight people know they are or should they be constantly reminded of this fact?

Palmar: Healthy reminders shouldn’t be triggers.

Allegra: But they shouldn’t reinforce a sense of evangelism either. You can say what you need without judging me for it or educating me on something that I already know about. Some of us are on our way dying and can’t be convinced to change their habits. (Maybe they want to die or don’t care much for changing) No need to put me through an intervention. If I was on my death bed and I wanted to try LSD would you refuse me of that? Would you tell someone who is already dying that they should take proper steps to ensure they live longer? For what purpose? I don’t have children or a partner depending on my life.

Palmar: So, if you had children or a partner – that wouldn’t compel you to live longer?

Allegra: I’m not totally sure. That’s not why I do what I do. I have plenty of friends including yourself that may want the best for me. I just want you to know I understand the risks and if experience leads me to make a remarkable change then I’ll oblige but for now, I’ll enjoy my fructose but take more consideration to moderation.

Palmar: That’s good, I’m happy to hear that.

Allegra: I hope you live long and stay clear from the range of accidents! You know you never know when they may happen. *chuckles*

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Battle of The Eye

Battle of The Eye

What I want is often at a crossroads with what my eyes see. I’ve been at a battle with the Eye. My eyes continually hold on to what can be and what is. In The Light – A thief can hide all; save his eyes. Melting away at what he wants // all he sees is desire. So his eyes are like ice. The situation of his desire begins to liquify.

In my mind, however, the parables don’t seem to really inspire a deeper truth. For every passing day, a story is told. Stories that are meant to be recorded and remembered for lessons in life.

Truth be told, I am stubborn. I’m pressed hard on being free and steadily gliding from a higher sense of myself. I’m incapable of being locked in because I am inclined to always find tunnels and loopholes.

If you give me a box, I’ll see a paradox. A rhyme that will guarantee a key. The question and demand are in my incentive. My eyes see with quest and affirmative navigation.

I find it easy to escape because I truly believe all of the answers are from within. Nothing hides or can disguise itself from me. From what’s clear to what’s not – I’d be a fool to not look again.

The amount of activity that’s happened in the last couple of months still astonishes me. I’m not always ready to face the reality of these transitions.

Dry spells engulf through the mirage. A desert filled with clowns and imaginary friends. The clouds above me are changing like the phases of the moon. The distant stare covers me into a deep oblivion. True to character // a trust is afforded to familiar betrayal. Constantly being neglected in the eyes of a spiteful gaze.

No true trophy is kept – the only award is unanswered questions. The war has been renewed by lack of compromise. Nothing exists besides me. Vessels are emptied and the fullness of meaning has been exchanged for promised attempts.

Sometimes life keeps us in a toss up of action. I don’t want to move at all. Then I want to run like fire and never turn back. The rain has compelled me to grow.

Whenever I look back, I’m not always sure if I was really listening or if I was just moving along with the beat? Whenever the heat turns up to high it paralyzes my thinking abilities.

When it’s hot – nothing matters but to replenish the waters lost by sweat.

The replenishment comes from understanding the exclamation and quest. My nose and mouth are formed by endless directions of inhalation and consumption. I’m steadily going because I’m constantly having to fight for my life. I’m having to really make decisions that affect what happens next.

Whatever happens is what I’ll have to go with. My heart is promising me – that if I stay faithful to it, I won’t be locked in or caged. Even if I’m placed in a box – I’ll have the key to which no way I’ll be locked in.

Quest & Demand to which I say // See Me again.