Bee Leave (Pollinate)

Bee Leave (Pollinate)

we can begin somewhere. it matters not where we start but how far we are going to get there. the ways in which we converse with one another about any subject of interest would be to understand the story behind it. (the building blocks). herein this dance of infinite voices expanding from left to right – we often deal with people who are trolling, unconcerned, cynical and unwilling to change biases. this poison of miscommunication seems bettered remedied through the awareness of pathology.

it is of the uttermost importance that we not dismiss the facts or more importantly, the variables that make room for the most likely outcome. certainly, in life things sometimes just happen. the explanation for why something is; may require extra work and nuance. we are rarely if ever privy to the details of what makes something a whole. IF YOU ARE UP FOR A CONQUEST: (put a small droplet of water on a white LED screen and notice the small specs of the color spectrum.)

eventually, the bees leave they have work to do (pollinate) in the same fashion we believe. #savethebees (some of those beliefs don’t have to stick around) some of you may be wondering where are the leaves to go with these bees?

“believe like being the leaf that trusts and falls to the earth with faith and without thought.” chiquisoul

3.1 (1).jpg

to believe something is to imply there is something attracting you to this belief. it’s not always the truth that takes the stand. (especially in a culture intoxicated with rage and lack of nuance) to be skeptical is seen to in denial of another person’s experience. it’s an irrational assumption to deal with. we’ve always lived in a world where people can share a story. it doesn’t have to be a real story. it can be something they made up. if you think about how you hear most of your stories, you’d probably point to some sort of media. the media informs you of various propaganda correspondent to the world around you.

media can be for the advantage of the facts or for triggered assumption in the people reading (the headlines) it is pretty easy to see that in this day and age – most media is built in the interest of making a profit. making a profit? but at what expense? could it be that the media will distort the facts in order to attract your attention? certainly. can you buy into the weekly flavor of reaction and dispose of nuance because something seems weird to you? OF COURSE. it’s not always easy doing the work. if you really want to understand something, you have to do more than bee leave it. you have to actually connect the pieces. follow what the available evidence suggests. read and then make informed decisions centered in a focused direction which favors the data.

people when telling stories often glamorize some of the details. sometimes they will convince themselves of something that never truly happened. in desperation, cold hearts seek another foul remedy. their keys will return to locked doors, however. you can knock and beat the door all you want. a lie can’t come into the truth’s entry. it may smash the windows, redecorate the furniture, color the walls, and replace the fixtures but the foundation and access door, can’t be abolished. try as they might, the truth always wins.

the truth does not win because it sought to be a champion.  the truth is standing there naked and exposed waiting to be embraced not shamed. a lot of things are weird. it’s weird how society doesn’t talk about trauma. what’s worst is that we often poorly if ever really seek to heal our trauma because we justify why it happened. we allow it to become normal. it’s weird how we invalidate our own experiences because we think we are always in control. very few things we control. we were given our names. places of birth. our parents. so many elements of life you had no direct participation in. yet, we are responsible to live with these circumstances. our minds and ultimately the story we tell ourselves is what we go with.

stories which involve extortion, gaslighting, predatory behavior and the like; more times than not, follows a specific pathology. surprises do happen. but we often miss what’s available at the surface and this applies to things that are weird too.

have you ever heard a song randomly and it completely thwarted you away from excitement? yeah, it’s not very pleasant, but it begs the question – where do we begin to build a better playlist for ourselves? how do we have these very real conversations without beginning at a place of blind faith?

so…

what can we do about the inevitable? when it comes knocking with a loud siren. the bells are going off like keys, trumpets, and rumbling thunder. be still i say. keep still as to not bother the echoes inside of you. observation is key but silence is a monstrous nucleus. there’s melody inside which is why the opposition to that (noise) is distracting by usually serving no justice to attention. the more actively intuned one is, makes them hip to the nature of sound around them.

if you are going to be hip – KNOW by being aware of points in how they intersect with what is drawn on the board.

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Riddle Me That?!

Riddle Me That?!

This project stems from the implications, questions, and declarations found in conversation. When talking to someone, we are reminded how often we miss the point of what was said. I liken ‘Riddle Me That?’ to a narrated mini-cartoon series with the protagonist being a question mark (?) and the antagonist an exclamation mark (!).

If you would like to support this project – CLICK HERE and purchase it for 7.00$ or subscribe to my Patreon. I appreciate your investment, incredibly!

To fully enjoy this, it is recommended that you listen closely otherwise you’ll just hear a bunch of people talking without full context.

And what’s the point of that anyway?

Noise and Music essentially are the same thing but they are not. Noise flows in and out of consciousness. Music is something different and we all recognize that difference. The tone and structure of a musical chord can be bent in fascinating ways. How often do we pay attention to the things that are said? In other words: are we getting Shookie or are we getting flat in how we communicate? 

Studies suggest that as a society we are talking less to each other but more through the projection of social media. We got a long way to go, but we are closer to the destination when we condense what we are saying. Getting lost in the sauce means saying things that may not be registered. However, the beauty of a question is that it stands to expect a reply. We don’t always have the proper answer, but the search for meaning carries throughout our longing to find out.

Recurring reasons provide enough evidence to suggest – what was there all along was JUST around the corner. We use symbols and parallels (parables even) to help explain our points in clever ways. We don’t always “get through”. Sometimes we have to Zoom, Inwardly.

Do you often find yourself rewinding past conversations? How often do we miss the various ‘signs’ people are giving? Ever heard someone say “that would be like saying XYZ” or “that was a red flag…”. Everything in conversation is a symbol but at the same time, nothing should be taken too seriously.

I created these scripts in the effort of acknowledging the various ways we are in conflict yet in harmony with one another. It’s a comedy! It was also a challenge to myself to do something different yet familiar.

(THERE’S A JUSTIFICATION FOR ANYTHING THAT’S THE REAL RIDDLE! HAHA!)

So, What’s the point of all the scrips? The conversation? The chatter in the background? Why are you reading? WHY AM I WRITING? To these questions – the answer remains that:

“Some are willing to unravel the parallel.”

*This project was created using 3 tools of productivity (excluding imagination)*

Audacity (Free Online Program)

Tascam DR-05 (Audio Recorder)

Laptop (But of course)

I don’t have much but what I had was enough to make this! Riddle Me that!? It’s my hope you can get something out of it. ❤

CLARITY // PUBLICISTS

CLARITY // PUBLICISTS

The following script is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…’ which is due to release at the beginning of 2019. 

Yellow Journalist: Miss.Claire T! Miss.Claire T! Sorry to bother you, Miss.Claire T – But, did you want to take a moment and clarify what you meant in your last interview – you offended a lot of people by your statement.

Miss.Claire T: No, I want people to take whatever they’d like to take from it. It’s not up to me to change people’s minds about my own opinions. They will form their own opinions just the same regardless if I add clarity or not.

Yellow Journalist: You do realize that you offended a lot of people by your statement? People look up to you and respect you – especially children, you don’t feel a moral obligation to give clarity, where there is a clearly a need for one?

Miss.Claire T: Listen, people will believe what they want to. I also didn’t ask to be their role model. They connected to me because a familiar thing inside of me is inside of them. I can’t possibly know how they think or what they think – I said what I said because that’s how I felt at that moment. They are more than free to disagree but that has nothing to do with me. I don’t think a microscope should be on me just because it sounded absurd. Fuck what people wanna assume – take what I say with hot sauce or Mrs.Ddash! Season as you wish!

Yellow Journalist: Would this be an apology or way for you to have people make what they want to make out of it?

Miss.Claire T: Nah – I said what I said but that was then, and this is now. I don’t even remember what I said. I don’t have a plan – I just do whatever the situation calls for. My thoughts change, but no one would even know what I meant – if technology didn’t choose to record what I said, also context is missing – when you only highlight the clickbait that reaches everybody. So, it ain’t my fault but the media’s fault at large. Blame flat-bird!

Yellow Journalist: Sounds like you are blaming everyone except yourself here.

Miss.Claire T: Well who is the victim? The children? People and their assumptions? Or me and what I said at that time?

Yellow Journalist: I just want to know if you think differently about what you said?

Miss.Claire T: I feel differently about a lot of things. I suppose I can exercise more caution and not speak so much, but I fired my publicist cuz he was an asshole and he wanted me to say things I didn’t really believe. So, who’s the asshole? Me or him?

Yellow Journalist: Ummm? I’m not sure?

Miss.Claire T: You don’t honestly think we all think for ourselves, do you? You got to hire a team to do all that thinking. Until they start speaking for you, that’s when it can get out of hand, I chose to fire him and now I’m getting press just for speaking my own mind, ain’t that some shit? I suppose – I can offer a weak ass apology so that people go back to thinking how insincere I am for actually clarifying “It’s obviously NOT a one size fits all”. If you want me to tell you what you want to hear Mr.Yellow Journalist, you could have instead asked me “What do you wish to say to those who are offended / who would benefit from an apology that sounds sincere enough to them?”

To those people I wish to say:

I am so sorry if my words have offended you. I hope you know it’s not my intention to speak on things I know very little about. I recognize that children are so impressionable – people like myself must always respect and consider what we say. My words can easily be taken out of context and even though I really mean what I say, I don’t mean for you to be hurt. I wish for the world, clarity and above else understanding, so that people may have swaying views different from you and no one gives a damn. Life keeps going on! Seeing things differently doesn’t mean anyone is against you. And if they are, so what!? A disagreement breeds variation of perspective. Unless those disagreements and ideas are rooted in your disadvantage. I hope you can see how clarity makes a hell of a difference!

Yellow Journalist: Thank you for clarifying Miss Claire T!

Miss Claire T: Well, that’s my name which is the way of the game, ya dig?!

Pursuit // Pleasure

Pursuit // Pleasure

*The following script, is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…” which is due for release at the beginning of 2019.

Palmar: Hey, have you tried the new app Fructose that allows you to explore the depths of glucose?

Allegra: Ah! Yes! It’s so good. Every time I think I should put it down – it proves me to be a liar because I can’t let it go. It’s like that chip you keep coming back too and the lemonade your grandmother makes! It’s just addictive like crack, honestly! lol!

Palmar: That’s what I heard and probably precisely why I ain’t trying to give it a go. I don’t want to do anything that makes me a slave to it.

Allegra: Who claimed you’d be a slave to it?

Palmar: Well, you mentioned crack and grandma’s lemonade…I’d say it’s quite powerful. Powerful enough to be the master of your senses. If it makes you a liar that means you can’t contest it.

Allegra: I never tried to contest it because I enjoy indulging it so much.

Palmar: Have you tried to abstain from it to see how your body would react to it?

Allegra: I ain’t trying to break away from it because I worry I might be dependent on it and you know the body develops dependence to some substances. If an alcoholic goes cold turkey it could literally kill them because they abused it for so long.

Palmar: So, would you say you abuse fructose?

Allegra: I suppose, I do. But we all abuse various things in life – I don’t think it’s a big deal.

Palmar: If you don’t want to live long and develop various diseases – you do have a point.

Allegra: Yeah but I don’t see why you are making it seem as if pursuing pleasure is a bad thing, we all have our various vices.

Palmar: You know what they say: Everything in moderation. If you feel you can’t resist fructose you might to want to start cutting it out one day at a time. Cold turkey might not be the best alternative but slowly breaking away from your addiction secures a better future for your mental and physical health.

Allegra: But I like fructose, why break away from what I like?

Palmar: Not all vices are remedies to the consequences that come from them.

Allegra: Ok. Well, I’m going to do me, and you can do you.

Palmar: So, are you saying you rather continue to head down a cycle of abuse because this is YOU right now?

Allegra: All I said is I’ll do me, and you will do you. I never asked you to lecture me about the dangers of fructose. I am aware of how bad it could be. However, as with anything they’re loopholes.

Palmar: I reckon those loopholes are very few.

Allegra: So, are you going to interrogate me about this from this day forth? Are you going to continually remind me how I’m killing myself and recommend me articles and links to help me get better or what? Do you think most obese and overweight people know they are or should they be constantly reminded of this fact?

Palmar: Healthy reminders shouldn’t be triggers.

Allegra: But they shouldn’t reinforce a sense of evangelism either. You can say what you need without judging me for it or educating me on something that I already know about. Some of us are on our way dying and can’t be convinced to change their habits. (Maybe they want to die or don’t care much for changing) No need to put me through an intervention. If I was on my death bed and I wanted to try LSD would you refuse me of that? Would you tell someone who is already dying that they should take proper steps to ensure they live longer? For what purpose? I don’t have children or a partner depending on my life.

Palmar: So, if you had children or a partner – that wouldn’t compel you to live longer?

Allegra: I’m not totally sure. That’s not why I do what I do. I have plenty of friends including yourself that may want the best for me. I just want you to know I understand the risks and if experience leads me to make a remarkable change then I’ll oblige but for now, I’ll enjoy my fructose but take more consideration to moderation.

Palmar: That’s good, I’m happy to hear that.

Allegra: I hope you live long and stay clear from the range of accidents! You know you never know when they may happen. *chuckles*

Characters In The Wind (Remastered)

Characters In The Wind (Remastered)

The Full-Length film ‘Characters In The Wind’ was released in 2016 but now remastered with added bits and pieces in 2018. I was initially, completely hesitant about remastering this but I needed to do it, because of my unsatisfaction on some levels with it originally. I wanted to explain the Jester Eye X – symbol once in for all which debuted at the start of 2016.

Screenshot 2018-07-09 09.11.27

CITW is the short film where conversation, poetry, music, and narration come to manifestation in full. I go all over the place which is represented by the arrows going in various directions.  I did not include an explanation for this originally but now I have while also describing what ‘Happy Forever means.

I’m sure this short film was not watched by many in fact, according to YouTube only 360 people watched it. 😀CITW2016YTMETRICS

Now you have the opportunity to watch it again, 2 years later REMASTERED! I hope you will join in on the conversation with me and enjoy it!


I’m also asking for donations of only $7.33 // or whatever your heart desires in light of completion of this project!

paypal.me/jessejenkins or for those who do not have Paypal you can submit donation here.

 

 

Donations For Creative Content

7.33 Your Donations Help Me A Great Deal!

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HOW TO HARVEST THE STATIC

HOW TO HARVEST THE STATIC

I was talking to one of my good friends about my poetry and he started laughing at the thought of some random person reading “hOw To hArVeSt tHe StAtIc“. I couldn’t stop laughing because it’s true. I often come up with the most random titles and I don’t imagine a huge crowd gathering around to bother to understand what I’m saying. It’s a niche market and certainly, some people may find out these things by happenstance. I couldn’t even pretend a huge amount of people would find what I do interesting. Most people tune into the language of opinions that they favor most.

I do try to tag and promote myself accordingly *to help with exposure* but the chances of me getting lost on the web are tremendous. People have a list of many channels in their view. You turn the channel if whatever is on doesn’t provide a source of humor or education. One day you may tune into my channel and hopefully, I’ll have you at the right time. The power of click-bait media transforms who are more willing to watch. It works because people are more prone to watch and listen to something they agree with or are interested in. This is to my disadvantage, however, as I am not fully aware of the tools that can be catchy enough to get people to watch me.

There’s a lot of static going on in my brain. I’ve been reading and listening more to reach a center. We’re all busy and there is always something on our radar – so consider harvesting the static. Gather the silence and who knows, maybe you may liberate yourself from a whirlwind of distractions. It’s often in the distractions, where we find purpose at the center. The roads we didn’t intend, all measure to the exact place we were destined to be. (Sometimes you can accidentally tune in and who knows…)  I can say more, but that’s why I made this video.

The Encounter (of The Bullet)

The Encounter (of The Bullet)

You can not always dodge the bullet meant for you. Some people come to the party already locked and loaded. By preparing yourself for any possible encounter with danger you still risk the encounter of a wildcard. To be shot is to be healed by the medication of bandages and possible surgical procedure. *Unless shot in the head or if the bullet punctured a vital point.* We can’t always miss the bullet especially if there’s one designed for you. If a sniper is out chilling on a skyscraper somewhere, they have you in target and nothing can fully protect you from it.

It’s a safe comfort to know, at most times this isn’t the case. If you’re free from pissing off the wrong people, there’s no bullet with your name on it. At least not an actual bullet, but if we’re talking about a metaphorical bullet dressed as a threat?

Those you won’t be able to protect yourself from. Nowadays people go through extreme measures to shame and silence if you come with criticism. We can see how this clearly happened with Nicki Minaj in her recent interview where she implied women should not “sell sex” and to know their worth. This sparked various comments from people challenging the root of her statements to get an objective point of view.

However, Nicki actually responded to someone on Twitter personally by not only attacking him but encouraging her ‘barbs’ to follow suit to teach him a lesson. This resulted in thousands of death threats, revealing his personal phone numbers and address, and personal attacks on his Twitter page. Nicki Minaj has millions of followers and he has only over 240k. This is an example of abused power at the expense to publicly embarrass you because of a disagreement.

The internet has become a place where we consistently release our disagreements and even go as far as talking against someone the moment they disagree. Threat culture seeks to dimish and silence those that simply steer in another direction. If you express an opinion of someone who’s favorable their army so to speak can come at you unawares. I experienced this recently with another popular psychologist who has gotten a fair amount of attention – Jordan Peterson.

It started out as a simple debate he had with Fry, Dyson, and Goldberg about Political Correctness. I watched a small portion of their debate and in this clip, I happen to agree with Dyson a bit more than Peterson. (I eventually watched the whole debate and I happen to validate all of the points they offered) I expressed my reasons for this and expressed them but people *by the hundreds* came to tell me how wrong my views were.

Luckily, I don’t have a large platform as of yet and I have not gained nearly as much attention as some people have but if I did – I wouldn’t see the end of it. This is the case for anyone online especially now who may encounter a mob just by simply expressing a difference of thought.

The Encounter of a bullet. The Encounter of a mob. The announcement of our fears may invite them into our psyche. However, we can still speak out against the threat. This reminded me of a video I made 3 years ago. It must have been inspired about the same things that are inspiring me to bring it back out again. I remember uploading it but I did very little to remind people I made it. In other words, there was hardly any promotion or tags to get it out there. UNTIL NOW.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObyI0nvebjk

Oh, the wonders of the internet. It never goes away.

I’m only saying what a lot of people have said throughout history only that I’m sitting down for seven minutes talking into the camera the old school ay. No edits, no filters. I hope you can find something in it and share it with your friends and yes, make it go viral or at least on your timeline somewhere! 😀

Opaque

Opaque

(If you rather listen instead of reading – CLICK HERE)

Opaque –  not transmitting radiation, sound, heat, etc.

This disturbance of my peace steady lingers in my opaque heart. I am wishing to find a balanced memory. One that isn’t tainted by the lullabies of betrayal or bad news.

If there’s one thing we have an abundance of, is plastic! Bad News is like plastic. I don’t think we’re even aware of how well versed we are with the bad news cycle.

It’s not particularly beneficial long or short term if not met with balanced stories that service positivity.

I feel this even more so as a person of color. People of color are so well versed in trauma, that we’ve internalized the mere occurrence by heavily sharing it out of outrage.

We even urge others to make videos VIRAL of police brutality or some form of prejudice. While this may certainly bring necessary attention – if we only do this without proper balanced good news, none of it has the potential to serve us any good.

We justify this as to bring awareness to brutality which in many ways are important.

The key to solving this conundrum is knowing that you don’t have to tolerate the constant bad news cycle.

There’s just as much good news as bad news, it just tends to be dressed and packaged in the commonly disposable (plastic) reaction…“ aww how sweet” whereas devastating news or sad news is packaged as “conscious or necessary to know”.

If our collective good and productive contributions are rarely acknowledged at the expense of plastic, easily produced bad news – this rubric can’t be to our advantage.

What we should know but often forget is those bad things has been happening since the dawn of humanity. This doesn’t mean we can’t sympathize with those affected by trauma but that we should correlate it with the bigger picture. *things are much better now than before!*

We should also remember those good things are in abundance as well.

Remember the good things and do good things unexpectedly. Share good things even the ones that seem important.

Even the small good things, like you, had your favorite meal today or that you got a smile from someone who doesn’t typically smile. Good things don’t have a rubric of interest.

If sharing those good things are received by a simple – “aww how cool” or even the unconventional thumbs up! We can learn to appreciate that. The alternative often involves a non-productive response which can end up making you feel worst than before.

In light of this awareness, I am developing a new rule: If you’re gonna share bad news, meet it with something cool or even weird. Weird is better than bad. Cool is more informative than bad.

The bad news cycle isn’t always unnecessary but not always useful either.

Hindsight tends to laugh at our previous business.

Indeed we are often shady businessman – making deals impulsively not properly planning quarterly.

My prudential interest serves me because I was taught to consider my own values. Self-care is not just about pampering but taking care of fundamental needs.

I have come to bite the fruit of despair.

If seeing you there meant believing in our dream, I would not hesitate to go asleep.

Now I can’t be seen as truly wanting absolution.

From the morning complaints to the afternoon joke that turned sour.

The evening sun casts a gloomy indifference.

Who’s to say what it could mean?

We are locked in the chain of belittling attacks.

To be understood is our misfire.

We’ve stepped in the sulking cold, right when springtime arrived.

Never late but hardly in time for our lifestyles.

Will they ever mesh? Or could we ever be more than our aging flesh?

I thought that together with our growth would make time for all the rest.

But sometimes, shortcomings are aging truths that remain on the viral dial.

In my halls of shallow emotions, still, I write.

To be known for who I am and whom I will become without a fight.

We are all but a forgotten flower.

Purchased for the dining set table.

But we simply seem unable and that is why my opaque heart longs…for good news packaged in a reusable material.

THE TRIGGERED GENERATION

THE TRIGGERED GENERATION

Hell Yeah, we’re Triggered.

It’s 2017 and everybody I know gets Triggered. It’s on some ASMR type of flow. Are you seeing the same shit I’m seeing?

Maybe you haven’t been aware of the plethora of ways in which trauma can be unlocked – but let me tell you: The box and key are always engaged in some kind of slippery slope of twists and turns.

Have you been living underneath a rock or something?

Every and anything can be triggering!

What’s funny about it – is that it doesn’t take much really. We’re constantly forced to deal with things and a lot of those things have childhood triggers we don’t understand yet.

Upon sudden contact – Bing!

We’re then pushed in the wrestling ring by the beast we haven’t fully seen.

Anytime I smell its fragrance – It gets a little bit closer to defeating me. I’m PRESSED because I can’t predict when my next collapse will take place?

It’s on the television. It’s on my phone. In the classroom. At work. With my family. With friends that I hang out with. I have no idea what I’m gonna see or what I hear and how this may trigger me wherever I happen to be.

Triggers are invisible forces that I can’t seem to protect myself from.

No warning. No map for closure. My anxiety is constantly multiplying because of various triggers.

These are close to home reminders that are not so easy to run away from.

I heard somebody say “Our generation should just get a grip and not be so loose on our emotions when they run through us like a flame.” I’m just laughing at that cuz IF we could pick and choose what triggered us, we wouldn’t be so damn triggered.

While we can’t control how they come, I suppose we understand those triggers. We can begin to learn how to unpack some of those various traumas.

Identifying them can be hard work tho – but it’s our responsibility.

Are we the Triggered Generation? I’d say Hell Yeah! But people long before us have had these triggers.

We’re just a bit more aware of the impact they have and there’s comfort in knowing – we ain’t all alone in this.

This piece is for my friend Loxten, which will be used for his future project.

Fran-Spective on Sleep

She’s Awesome, Witty, and just overall Cool


I totally get this. I even dream of sleeping. I look forwards not being plugged into the constant. The always happening N.E.W.S. which is always reminding me of some new way to be terrorized. Sleep is necessary but we fight to avoid it because of the business of the everyday waking life. But, like Fran – the invariable of being awake is enough to avoid as much as possible. I get a lot of work done in my dreams. I understand what’s happening and how the past happened by listening to my dreams. So now // zzzz’s lead to A.

Oh btw, I love Fran Lebowitz. I’ve been reading her essays and watching her interviews and I’m constantly learning. Another quote to leave with:

“Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn’t make up yourself.”