Death & Revisionism

Death & Revisionism

There seems to be something cosmic about death that encourages a replenishing of the pen. When someone dies – the writers of the pen order a sharp box of new ink! The pencil sharpens its eraser to remove any potential bad news in favor of the preferred story to go with.

If you lived your life as a warmonger – present history shouldn’t erase the trauma and abuse you inflicted in the past. We’re socialized to think, that the moment you die, only your good things should be recalled. Ain’t it strange how we pardon the far away demise in favor of the familiar narrative of heroism?

How, am I supposed to look at the monster that destroyed and conquered the land that wasn’t his? Should I smile at him? Will my smile somehow convince him that my compassion means more than the lives he slaughtered? Maybe the beams in my eyes will illuminate his misery and cause self-reflection that may ultimately lead to repentance?

It’s probably just a dystopian myth led by Christian hope. Even in ‘progressive’ areas of the world, death is still dressed in a traditional garment. The pretended grief from strangers and sunglasses donned to protect friends and family to see underneath it all, you’re not even crying. When someone dies, our memories tend to go through the watch of time and we selectively hold on to the vision we prefer. Americans in particular, are so conditioned to valorize the powerful and defend the people rich enough to afford their own counsel.

I want to envision a world where my love and good vibes actually mean something transcending. but that’s a mission of the strange. It’s almost like reality is stranger than fiction but an illusion is as real as verified science. I can’t seem to grasp the undertaking of a volcanic eruption. The enormity of an explosion which causes lava to scatter to even the most distant villages.

Some people live very close to the volcano and built there entire life there. What about the people who live in areas where hurricanes are common visitors? Should they be worried when the waters come to take what they worked for? Death is not any more mysterious as it is – destiny. A life of shortcomings cannot make one tall suddenly when they leave this planet. Their legacies are what keeps them alive and an objective perspective helps the ash from spreading.

Some people live very close to the volcano and built there entire life there. What about the people who live in areas where hurricanes are common visitors? Should they be worried when the waters come to take what they worked for? Death is not any more mysterious as it is – destiny. A life of shortcomings cannot make one tall suddenly when they leave this planet. Their legacies are what keeps them alive and an objective perspective helps the ash from spreading.

This month I’m taking a break from social media. (Deleted Twitter, Instagram, FB, etc – from my phone – and logged out from other Devices) I’ve called this pink hibernation – it’s already improved my writings and reading (just 3 days in). Social media can be a wonderful tool in bringing to light the sweet and sour grits of the world.

The troubles of life take a larger seat in our consciousness because they make the most profit. simply put, I’m exhausted from the usual annoyances kept at bay by news outlets. You can’t go anywhere too long without a complaint or reminder that tribalism is the new wave to jump on. There’s a lot to learn and I want to pay closer attention to processing information and to toil with silence whenever it comes around.

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The Firey Speck

The Firey Speck

In a moment where the wind blew
For a brief grievance, my coat tail knew
The fiery dust which embraced my eye
Came to proclaim a message of a thunderous lullaby
To be awake is to steady see
The anguish and anger always sent for me
A song for the hornet and wide winged bat
Inside of my shattered heart, my reaction is a frivolous stat

When the speck hit my eye
I should have washed it out with lye
The burn would have paralyzed my will to see
The dream that this would set us free
But now I’m waking up to be hurt
All of my feelings are stuck in the dirt

For some wish to learn at the university – receiving methods and assignments in strenuous diversity
Others are not for the will to learn from the school book
They rather get it word of mouth from the bell and informed hook
I suppose it matters not where education arrives
For as long as the trail of questions convince our begging lives

When the speck hit my eye
I should have washed it out with lye
The burn would have paralyzed my will to see
The dream that this would set us free
But now I’m waking up to be hurt
All of my feelings are stuck in the dirt

{bridge}
A refrain of speckled puzzles convinced me to see
A dark illumination that’s paralyzed me
If not for the will to sing this song
I’d refuse to believe the dance to belong
The color of a miss-step is the shade of a fading white
No one has to wrestle in the error of the unseen night

A frivolous stat! A frivolous stat! A hornet without honey and wide winged bat! A wide-winged bat!
For seeing without eyes are like bees without honey
A purpose to be drawn without the necessity of money
The speck in my eye became an enlarged reflector
This inspired a pathway to become the most desired nectar

When the speck hit my eye
I should have washed it out with lye
The burn would have paralyzed my will to see
The dream that this would set us free
But now I’m waking up to be hurt
All of my feelings are stuck in the dirt

Level UP @ 3

Level UP @ 3

Tempting to make a living out of a death sentence. That’s the struggle for existence. Caught in between the cycle of wanting and owning. LEVEL UP!

The abrasive wrestle between gone and coming. There is both the need to be seen in invisible clothes. LEVEL UP!

When talking to you – I’ll repeat what you said in order to indicate I was listening. If you don’t want those words thrown back at you I’ll just ’MmmHmm’ You until you get the point. LEVEL UP!

Seeing as I experienced one of the most random trips recently to Arizona and neighboring areas – it’s about time I level up! *seriously, shit has been absolutely crazy.*

I’ve taken for granted living in Sweden for a long time. Coming back to America for a spell meant more sugar, money, and unforeseen realities all encouraging me to level up. Settling for what has already been prepared is a danger zone. You have to see ahead like the eagle and use all of the resources made available to you. Wherever you are – it’s imperative that you level up!

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What do I mean by ‘Level Up’? Simply, regain your fuel. You’re spending at this very moment precious time and energy. You can covert this at your leisure but you most certainly use the wings you’ve been provided to fly away into productive manifestation. Don’t wait for nothing. Nothing ain’t coming but something is always around the corner. Believe that!

This fact has made me more aware of my wrestle with paranoia and the weight that comes with it. Basically, Murphy’s Law is a B*I*T*C*H*! Knowing that anything that can go wrong will go wrong – has been coughing me up and especially seeing my connection with the number 3.

For as long as I could recall numbers would follow me in some way. Whether it’s some form of ‘7’ (14,56,34) or some form of ‘9’ – it has happened to me all the time. This particular season of *2018* we are only 21 Days Into it – 3×7 – 3 has been this important number of leveling up. I’ve seen it in the most inconvenient and teaching way possible.

Which goes back to my relationship with paranoia – which isn’t always a great way for it to reveal itself back to me. Let’s say two bad things have happened to me back to back – then I start thinking another bad thing must be on its way towards me.

Although, this could also mean something really good is due to happen to balance it all out.

I want to level up but it’s hard when your mind starts making nonsense out of coincidental situations. (Or is it coincidental?)

I doubt myself and while I believe this is a very good quality it can become problematic due to not having enough faith in myself.

We should all level up, yes? Can we do this without annihilating our present convictions? Certainly!

I don’t have a particular formula to establish this – but I do know that all of us are apart of this game of connecting all of our experiences. The way in which we do is selective to our interpretative measures. If we ease on the stress and live in the moment, we’ll do better at remembering “The Birds are Singing” we don’t have to hang on to fear and stress, stress, stress, and more stress.

Thanks, Sananda.

Obsession With Filling (Feeling) The Page

Obsession With Filling (Feeling) The Page

I gotta feel what I’m writing. In search of this ‘feeling’, I’ve had to wrestle with just how much I’m writing on a page. If I write too little will people think I had little to say? If I write too much – got damn, I’m on my Jester Rants! (Btw, my YouTube channel will resurrect with more content this year!)

I want to win but I know losing is literally trying to find out what people like/want. Trying to fit in what people expect is much like the weather. It changes from day to day, although it’s much easier to know your target market through proper analytics! I must heed this while breaking into new areas.

The motivation, inspiration, and persuasion have always been a wavy sense of connection. I’m an explorer and the more I Search – I see an undeniable encoding in various life experiences.

The more I dig, the greater this connection speaks to me. As I’m writing this – I’m already seeing several ways this blog is gonna go. How do I maintain my focus without losing the ‘feeling’?

You feel me?

It’s important to chase the feeling and follow it wherever it leads you. As of now – my thoughts are leading me to fill the space. We don’t have to keep writing but the more I do – the closer I am to getting to my point.

The lines are drawn and the door is open. The more I write what I feel, the clearer I see how everything is connected. After all, buttons Connect and that’s why we button up our shirts. The symbols I see in everyday interaction come to life through my words. My words will become a platform for discovering the hidden and visible.

I find that at times, I’m caught in between the insufferable *but pleasurable* thigh of allegory and innuendo. I enjoy the warm embrace of making sense out of philosophical possibilities. This can be a task too daunting for my readers. It makes you read a lens not so commonly visited. You stand to benefit with this-this is a remix. Something that’s already been said but my way.

2018 is here and already 14 Days Into it, I’ve had to put in the work before it arrived. I use to say “I always am writing” but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I can’t always write otherwise – I wouldn’t have time to process, read, or observe. What is true though – is I can encourage myself to write with knowledge of a paycheck or simple creative fun. Getting into the habit of writing helps me contextualize those random words that always seem to float somewhere.

This year – I am taking more seriously the notion that I’m writing a book. I’m gonna need your help. It won’t write itself but the basis of it is already laid out.

I’m excited to share with you what more my pen will reveal. After all – It’s all about writing until the pens run out! Only this time – I ain’t doing it just to fill the page as long as I’m feeling it, the hope is that you will too!

Bless up!

“Comb Your Pennies”

“Comb Your Pennies”

As they woke up early in the morning ready for the day at hand: They suddenly heard a voice from the distance – which grew stronger as it came close to their ears.

“Make sure to comb your pennies as you brush your dollars.”

Not much was known about them but they did gain a little sunlight whenever the sun was gracious enough to shine on them. They did not have much but enough strength to keep what could be turned into something bigger. Anytime they walked the corners of the earth – they found pieces of cloth that they connected into a bigger quilt. It didn’t matter where they were, as long as they could keep some space in their pockets. They held onto what little they had, in hope that it would turn into a dollar.

Days went by and eventually, their pennies turned into many dollars. Their hair wasn’t as wild as before. They had enough to show up to the party with a laid back do and enough details to show off how much they had saved. It didn’t take long for them to realize what this meant. Now they could brush their dollars into the deep areas of their head. The comb and brush was a reminder to take what little they had to manage what was in their control.

I heard this in a dream and I find this sentiment very important.

“Comb your pennies and brush your dollars”

I’ve always been one to recycle. A broken necklace? A wrist bracelet. A broken wrist bracelet? A chain to dangle on my trousers. Anything that breaks – will become something else before it goes in the trash can. I do this as a reminder that everything transforms. The purpose doesn’t have to be lost.

Ain’t it funny how when Black Friday comes along we feel justified in buying things for a cheaper price? If you really do the math you’ll open yourself to the scam that is really Black Friday Weekend. Most sales are 20% – 30% off the original price, which isn’t that much of a discount. It’s also convenient that this comes a month before Christmas. THIS IS NOT AN ACCIDENT.

It’s all tied to spending as most as possible for those little charms that make life easier. This also means your hair can get a little more raggedy in the process. By the time Black Friday and Christmas is over your hair will be all over the place. My suggestion to avoid crazy hair – become extremely hypothetical in situations where money is involved. I start becoming a detective searching the ins and outs of the situation.

This metaphor of pennies being combed is like dumping all of your coins out of your storage container. The moment they begin to fall out, they tend to scatter. That’s when you gotta comb them towards you. At times you get lucky and find higher currencies which is always a bonus but even if you don’t brush off those dollars. When there ain’t enough to make a quilt, you best believe you have enough fabric to make an ACCENT. A detail or two that will stand out flamboyantly. Any eye for detail can catch it.

So next time you find yourself with a few spare pieces around – consider combing all that is scattered. Once your done brushing everything together – you’ll be ready to flow with the finest of accents.

Tremendous & Superfluous (That’s Delicious)

Tremendous & Superfluous (That’s Delicious)

That’s delicious.

This kind of taste is the necessary elixir needed for a life like mine. A vacation. A place to lay my head in spite of the constant noise. Every once in a while – I gotta bite from the sugar rush. A climb up the mountain so that I can chill with the clouds. Traveling away hasn’t harmed anyone. When you know what’s coming for you and what ain’t.

It’s always wise to count the strings and to take measures before you arrive. If you’re planning to go anywhere – Draw a map. Make it plain. For so much work is put into avoiding a crash. We must secure our deposits. Tie down the alluring spend. If there’s anything we want, it’s certainty that our check is coming on time.

What a superfluous kiss this is. When our long waited goals will kiss the lips of manifestation. I can’t hide my smile when a graceful strut of fulfillment comes knocking for me. Don’t you like it when it’s coming for you!

It’s delicious – when the sexy embrace of ‘What’s mine’ arrests me onto secret floors. My joy is exposed.

While much happier now, I feel my kisses have been wasted – It’s taken a tremendous amount of effort to get to this point. Nonetheless, this is where we at!

My taste for more offers temptation to my curious feet. They walk up the stairs carefully guided by the aura of foreplay. With careful nature – We must caress time as we have it in our arms. The amount of attention we pay is instructed by the value we set. How can we know what is ours and what’s theirs? Upon the table being set, why not rush in earnest desire to be fed? Why wait?

For when the table is set – the seats are ready to get warm. The bread invites us to partake. It’s better if we can crumble it down to the finest it can be. Allowing the sweetness to absorb on our tongues. Ain’t no need to rush this feeling tho. When it’s like a cow chewing cud – 1,000 rotations a minute. This food is fine and yes, delicious to the belly and mind. Eating slowly and slowly.

Tremendous and Superfluous – a race to the finest taste. Guaranteed to be delicious cuz the seasonings make a difference. You may be a little too much or not enough but you’re guaranteed a delicious bite. It’ll make you go Hmmm! I wonder how I didn’t figure it out before? It’s alright tho, cuz it’s delicious when everything is Tremendous and Superfluous!

JESTER’S GUMBO! INCLUDING: ANTS, PENNIES, + OTHER RANDOM ROOTS!

It’s been a long time since I made a Gumbo video, but this time around I had a few more ingredients to deliver. Follow the suspense, and remember THE SMILE in the midst of all Improvised Frequency – Follow the lead, and you know, LISTEN.

 

Invited Concerns

 

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Salvador Dali

 

This week, I had my share of invited concerns due to unilateral wonders but this is how life begins again. I finished my first full week at work today and what I learned is that; making 300+ calls can’t be that bad. Now, being hung up isn’t the nicest feeling, but the predictability of its nature becomes second nature. “Hi, who would I be able to speak to about an ad for ‘X’ high school?” The start of the script is the hardest, because if you loose the beginning, the middle, and the end has no structure. I have worked all my life, and for the most part, I know that working Manuel labor is only for an odd job. Lifting crazy weights and allowing the sweat the drop from your eyebrow is not the ideal sense of occupation for me.

I am all about communication and even if calling these numbers, dance in repetition – it’s pretty obvious this position is in my niche! I know where I am and this field will work well for me. I work with all women and being the only man in a room full of women, makes no difference. The people are nice but for the most part, we are all concerned about pitching calls so that businesses purchase some products for the school.

Now that I have returned to the workforce, my communication has become shrunk to pieces of a letter I intend on writing. All of my codes are welcomed into the system because I have to start somewhere right? Also, as Miss X famously would declare: “MONEY IN DA BANK”! God, knows I need the money, and since the check won’t be disappointing its worth the calls and early mornings. The mornings are the worst part, but I did not realize how much those energy boosters work! Without energy, I am dissolved to very little.  Haha…I need the RUSH!

The mornings are the worst part but I did not realize how much those energy boosters work! Without energy, I am dissolved to very little.

I have turned into scripts made of ache and change and that is a part of life. CHANGES, CHANGES, CHANGES!

Dismissed=iPhone 4, makes communication so much more difficult. I am a social junkie, and while I don’t like spending hours upon mentions on the internet, it was nice to have a load of information in your hands. BUT I’m having to go without for a while, which won’t be too long, but using a keyboarded phone isn’t the worst. It’s just an adjustment for a time, and these are only some of the details of vacancy.

As many things crashed. I was accelerated with emotion knowing my favorite Aunt passed away. I am going to dedicate a blog to her passing after she is buried, as it is too heavy for me to acknowledge at this moment. I feel a sense of relief just releasing some of these inhibitions, one thing that is for certain: Weekends have totally different meanings when you are working and when you spend your time following a flow. Hence, why I am up and alive due to the awakening of some of these invited concerns!

Summarized Notion For Thought: You should not feel like a radio, programming the stations that frequent the waves! Who wants to tune in then? Regardless of sensitive letters and tones of frustration; we are tracked by our respect and mutual understanding!

Warehouse Blues (The Go)

Since I have been working, my fingers have been in a progressive attack just to gain some respective cash! I never thought I would work in a Warehouse, but I have met such good friends and they made waking up at 5:00AM in the morning worth my sleepless doubts. At one time – All I did was put stickers on boxes. For pretty much all day for 8 hours (With the exception of lunch break and me foolin’ around!

My daily routine was as follows: Make A Box – Tape The Box Together – Put The Colgate Toothpaste Inside – Tape It Back – And Put It On The Pallet!

Sounds easy, doesn’t it? WELL It was, very clean cut, and when you’re making jokes and having good times with your friends, time is pretty much non-existent. That job lasted for exactly a month. It was a temporary to hire job and the ‘Colgate Project’ is NOW over. It ended May 4,2012, but I thought ‘Bigger & Brighter Things’ were ahead. After I got my check, my manager called me and 2 of my co-workers out and asked if we would be willing to partake in another job. I was a bit apprehensive seeing as I have developed good friendships with my other co-workers.

But I had to agree, because I need the money and instead of waking up at 5:00AM; I would wake up at 2:00PM, but seeing as it’s a full-time job, that meant I would get out at 10:00PM. I just started getting familiar to waking up early, and the only complaint I had at the other job is waking up so early. It was easy breezy.

It was such a chill job! The boss was very funny, and we constantly laughed and had conversation worthy of mention. Everyone was nice, The job was so easy, and while it was HEAVILY repetitive, and you already knew what to do when you got there…It never really played against the movement of waking up. I would do anything to get it back.

BECAUSE today marked the day; I started this NEW ‘Temp To Hire Job’ AND it was CHAOS!

It was my first day and the manager expected me to be at a fast pace as all of the other workers. It was so much to remember, and when I asked questions, it seemed sinful. He was a very nice guy, but his expectations were far too high for it being my first day. I did almost 6 jobs in one job. 😀

I worked UP a black sweat!! My work outfit has never been so stained…with sweat and dirt…

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I recited the same statement so many times. “I am not working here, I am going to QUIT”. I am not one to quit, especially a job that I really need. BUT my progress was rebuked constantly and going from place to place, just put so much burden on me. I had to lift 20-40 boxes at such a rate that really perplexed my strength. Alas, Myself along with the other 2 co-workers decided to leave the job. EVEN, when I woke up, I predicted and sensed a feeling of hesitation. It just seemed crazy, and I was right!

There are other jobs out there, and I know my work will be met by a glorious new chapter!

There is a work in many other aspects of my life and I feel the work that exists is a preparation for another business to be seen.

Summarized Notion For Thought: When you awaken to the progressive complaint, that requests a faster pace, opposing to your own motion of detail. Go along and DO the work. When the sweat soaks your outfit, and the management outbursts their own calling. Smile and act as if their notions will qualify you as a good worker. But once you CLOCK OUT; Say: Revolution Time Has Come TODAY – Because It Took A Rebuked Face To See The Same Decay; Like The Chocolate Of WONKA, In The Sun They’ll Melt Away, But As Far Me..I’ll Laugh & Go Into The Mountains Where The Waters Flow..Back To The Rivers Of ‘The Go’. (I’m Gone)