Pursuit // Pleasure

Pursuit // Pleasure

*The following script, is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…” which is due for release, December 28, 2018.

Palmar: Hey, have you tried the new app Fructose that allows you to explore the depths of glucose?

Allegra: Ah! Yes! It’s so good. Every time I think I should put it down – it proves me to be a liar because I can’t let it go. It’s like that chip you keep coming back too and the lemonade your grandmother makes! It’s just addictive like crack, honestly! lol!

Palmar: That’s what I heard and probably precisely why I ain’t trying to give it a go. I don’t want to do anything that makes me a slave to it.

Allegra: Who claimed you’d be a slave to it?

Palmar: Well, you mentioned crack and grandma’s lemonade…I’d say it’s quite powerful. Powerful enough to be the master of your senses. If it makes you a liar that means you can’t contest it.

Allegra: I never tried to contest it because I enjoy indulging it so much.

Palmar: Have you tried to abstain from it to see how your body would react to it?

Allegra: I ain’t trying to break away from it because I worry I might be dependent on it and you know the body develops dependence to some substances. If an alcoholic goes cold turkey it could literally kill them because they abused it for so long.

Palmar: So, would you say you abuse fructose?

Allegra: I suppose, I do. But we all abuse various things in life – I don’t think it’s a big deal.

Palmar: If you don’t want to live long and develop various diseases – you do have a point.

Allegra: Yeah but I don’t see why you are making it seem as if pursuing pleasure is a bad thing, we all have our various vices.

Palmar: You know what they say: Everything in moderation. If you feel you can’t resist fructose you might to want to start cutting it out one day at a time. Cold turkey might not be the best alternative but slowly breaking away from your addiction secures a better future for your mental and physical health.

Allegra: But I like fructose, why break away from what I like?

Palmar: Not all vices are remedies to the consequences that come from them.

Allegra: Ok. Well, I’m going to do me, and you can do you.

Palmar: So, are you saying you rather continue to head down a cycle of abuse because this is YOU right now?

Allegra: All I said is I’ll do me, and you will do you. I never asked you to lecture me about the dangers of fructose. I am aware of how bad it could be. However, as with anything they’re loopholes.

Palmar: I reckon those loopholes are very few.

Allegra: So, are you going to interrogate me about this from this day forth? Are you going to continually remind me how I’m killing myself and recommend me articles and links to help me get better or what? Do you think most obese and overweight people know they are or should they be constantly reminded of this fact?

Palmar: Healthy reminders shouldn’t be triggers.

Allegra: But they shouldn’t reinforce a sense of evangelism either. You can say what you need without judging me for it or educating me on something that I already know about. Some of us are on our way dying and can’t be convinced to change their habits. (Maybe they want to die or don’t care much for changing) No need to put me through an intervention. If I was on my death bed and I wanted to try LSD would you refuse me of that? Would you tell someone who is already dying that they should take proper steps to ensure they live longer? For what purpose? I don’t have children or a partner depending on my life.

Palmar: So, if you had children or a partner – that wouldn’t compel you to live longer?

Allegra: I’m not totally sure. That’s not why I do what I do. I have plenty of friends including yourself that may want the best for me. I just want you to know I understand the risks and if experience leads me to make a remarkable change then I’ll oblige but for now, I’ll enjoy my fructose but take more consideration to moderation.

Palmar: That’s good, I’m happy to hear that.

Allegra: I hope you live long and stay clear from the range of accidents! You know you never know when they may happen. *chuckles*

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Pockets & Access

Pockets & Access

I made a video about pockets and their resourcefulness! If you’re looking for a reason to be thankful – thank your pockets! Pockets are truly remarkable in that they provide a humble home for anything we may carry. If you rather listen instead of reading – feel free to listen and watch here!

Pockets & Access

In the interest of convenience, pockets are a must have and quite a common luxury. All of our necessities and miscellaneous materials are provided in a living facility, in the form of pockets!

Pockets are temporary houses to those things we need but don’t want to hold all of the time with our bodies. We as a human species are familiar with holding things, but we generally rely on our bags and pouches.

When you break life down tho- everything in life and the observable universe is a pocket of some kind.

A good way to use a pocket more efficiently would be to combine one thing into an opening of another. So instead of carrying several items at one time- if you use one thing which opens up into something else – your pocket will then be multifunctional.

Pockets hold our information. Think of our backpacks, they too – act like a pocket. Jewelry Containers, Cabinets, Shelves, Brief Cases, Purses, Dresser Drawers. For even our chairs are a pocket for the booty.

One of the most advanced and important pockets: are those which hold sensitive and personal data.

Think of your wallet for example – our cell phones, tablets, and laptops are the pockets of digital information.

Our smartphone is a pocket with many pockets – much like the world wide web. Think about ALL of what it stores? Contacts, encrypted files, pictures, videos, music, emails, and overall ACCESS to all our personal data.)

Can’t you see now how pockets are upon pockets?!

Furthermore, a life without pockets is a burden and makes life more difficult. If we didn’t have any pockets, think about how much more we would have to carry? Pockets are our limbs, they provide a useful shortcut in a society full of holding many things at one time. Life can be extremely stressful when you think of all the things you would have to carry around with you if it wasn’t for pockets!

Pockets are a relief to the burden of carrying a heavy load.

Therefore, I’m all for pocket equality! Women deserve more pockets in their clothing. And I don’t mean the mock pockets that don’t serve any functionality. There’s no use for that and who wants to carry a purse all the time when you can have a useful pocket?

We already collect so much throughout life. Think of our living spaces which is probably the biggest multifunctional pocket of all.

Pockets act as – the quickest access to any of life’s exhibitions!

Pockets are like atoms.

They are in everything.

Pockets are secret tunnels. There are always unknown pockets found everywhere in existence.

Pockets: no matter what they’re carrying or how they’re designed – remains a humble home and a place of rest for any and everything.

So next time you put something in your pocket – smile that a pocket exists so that you don’t have to carry the extra weight. 😉

I’m also aware that some people be stealing out your pockets and that ain’t fun to deal with. Which is why possibly carrying a lion in your pocket is a safe bet, it’ll always be ready to roar! 😀

&AnotherThing…

&AnotherThing…

&AnotherThing… (A series of helpful reminders you may or may not find useful.)

When I was little, I would crush my bag of chips because I felt it would be more to eat later. However, when I got older – I began to understand that no matter how many pieces you make out of one – the same value exists. This encouraged me to embrace the moment of one chip. I now slowly eat one at a time with no need to pour them out or funnel them down my throat. (Plus I make less of a mess) Basically: I could cut the pie in many different ways, but it ain’t gonna get any bigger. Therefore, When I savor the moment, it’s blessed!

&AnotherThing…

If the question is why and the answer is “I DON’T KNOW”. This should be satisfactory enough. You may offer a source who may know but they are coming from the vantage point of the perspective they believe. It’s important to remember people are coming from where they are at (currently) What do you know? Maybe more than I – this is why I prefer to shut up and be the student. Yet, this is what also makes me want to teach and tell what I do know because it may help somebody!

&AnotherThing…

It’s important to keep context in the same place you put your keys or that fresh breath mint. Your pocket. If your context ain’t somewhere close but somewhere more vast – like your backpack or purse, you’re gonna have a longer time locating it. So, now that we got all of the basics out the way:
“Where are your glasses?”
Hmm.
They are exactly where you put them. You’ve been looking everywhere except the most common place we put our glasses when we don’t need them. Not in the pocket or purse but on the top of our heads! Are you really a fool? Bad memory? Nah – it just wasn’t important enough to be taken out and put away. Sometimes shortcuts are actually necessary. *Even if you forgot the most obvious place.* 

&AnotherThing…

It ain’t over until you’re ready to leave the party. The older you get, you just don’t fit in. It’s not that you aren’t cool but your jokes are way past the younger crowds head. The music you would bump too won’t be hitting the bass level as present contemporaries. This is when it’s time to leave. You ain’t gotta make a scene but exiting silently is your best bet. No need to embarrass yourself. When the thought suggests: “Maybe I should go home.” Honor that. You can also look at this as a metaphor for death. It’s not to be feared or delayed – everybody gotta leave some time.

&AnotherThing…

Pick your battles wisely. Everything ain’t worth the fight or sweat. If you can get your point across without screaming, cool! But if you end up losing your voice altogether – even better! Maybe that’ll remind you of how much raising your voice in an argument ain’t worth it. Some points are connected but most of the dots get lost in the sauce. You ain’t gotta break your cool – just to defend a point. If you really care – extend the same duty to someone else. They care too albeit from a different perspective.

&AnotherThing…

Some things require a password. If you don’t know the password – you still not gonna get access by making one up. You might need to contact a professional hacker. Although, I’m pretty sure if you are that desperate – you got some shit you need to figure out. Why not create your own account? It doesn’t have to be like you – get creative. Make up some shit, creating characters with their own moods and personalities can be a lot of fun!! WARNING: If you spend too much time on the net, you may fall into the trap of believing what you see. What’s worst, is cat-fishing real people because you stole a real person picture without asking them. May I suggest, using a cartoon for your avatar or a stock photo instead?

&AnotherThing….*Probably the most important lesson*

Somethings are someone’s personal experience. EVERYTHING is not every ones “Thing”. The grace of minding your business blesses you mostly. Why not take this blessing? Interfering with another life is beyond invasive. It’s downright, hubris. There’s enough to handle in your own pyramid. Glasses need to be cleaned. Shelves dusted off. Floors that need a proper shine. In spite, all the work that can be done in your home – why worry about someone else’s yard? What’s the point in getting involved in another’s battle? Why even get upset if you smell herbs that ain’t your own? You can still commit to helping from a distance without in return destroying a village. Do yourself a service and keep it moving!

Why I Embrace The Absurd

Why I Embrace The Absurd

I have been reading a lot of Albert Camus (One of my favorite philosophers) and his book ‘The Myth of Sisyphus’ has stirred within me various questions about existence and just how absurd our lives are. (Especially if you’re living your life like me without a religious meaning) I find purpose in what is unresolved and brought together by a random chaos of meaning. Here are 3 of my favorite quotes *at the moment* from the book.

“It is probably true that a man remains forever unknown to us and that there is in him something irreducible that escapes us. But practically I know men and recognize them by their behavior, by the totality of their deeds, by the consequences caused in life by their presence. Likewise, all those irrational feelings which offer no purchase to analysis. “

“The absurd is born of this confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world.”

“”The absurd has meaning only in so far as it is not agreed to. There exists an obvious fact that seems utterly mortal: namely, that a man is always a prey to his truths. Once he had admitted them, he cannot free himself from them.

While I understand the importance of order and structure somethings are better of in between the thigh of the absurd.

The looooonnng and short of this video is, while I can go several places at the same time, it’s about the journey. If stepping into the void lands you on something squishy and wet – may the funk bless your consistency. 😀

Curious Causation

Curious Causation

1

It takes screws, nails. hinges, tape, glue, etc. We can get there using one method but if we are looking for an effective build – wouldn’t Structure be plural? 

2

 It’s either Jesus or what? Eternal damnation? A life without joy? Must the answer include Jesus? Imagination has the power to whip us into exclusive multiple choice.

3

Jesus is often seen as an example. If you ain’t doing what Jesus did or living out of what Jesus has done. There seems to be a condemnation set for you. Until you live – YOUR LIFE. This life is yours and the moment is yours to live!

4

All of us SHOULD take care of each other. At various times, we get it confused and feel it’s just about where we are going. It doesn’t hurt to forget – we are all in this together. Whether we like this or not – how we respond to service to one another is what makes the difference.

5

This is something we have heard all of our lives. Humans assign meaning where they choose to. I suppose, if one is to stare at their life and why they’re here – they’d have questions and connect answers to what’s been revealed so far. If they choose to value their lives to a destiny, that’s their prerogative.

6

Belief is how philosophers and psychiatrists spend a lot of their time. Without belief, a lot of people would be out of a job and determination. 

7

If you’re anything like me. You’re curious. Curious as to why things are and what motivates us to arrive at the various conclusions. What caused this? I don’t think we’ll ever fully arrive at all of the questions we have. That’s OK because life is a trip! I ain’t gonna be tripping on how you experience the fullness of your trip! These series of questions mainly dealt with ‘Belief’ and how are our hearts are conditioned to see.  I want to mainly remind people – It ain’t about what you don’t believe in.

A lot of us have the answers already. How do you treat people? How are you being there for people? When will people start seeing that empathy is a two-way street? Some of my questions may offend or merely ignite your curiosity. In the process of writing this book – more questions have come to surface. It’s safe to say – the book is writing itself. It won’t entirely center around ‘FAITH, GOD, HEAVEN, HELL, EMPATHY’ or any other serious concepts. There’s gonna be a lot of fiction and dreamlike conclusions. Through it all, I’ve come to realize – Humans and Nature are the creators to most of what we see.

Who’s to blame? HUMANS. People make art and people invent exactly what they want them to see. Distortion of the facts is just as real as the clear reason some put up walls.I believe in people – people are capable of treating each other with respect. THIS ISN’T ALWAYS EASY BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN BE THE TRUEST ASSHOLES IN ALL OF LIVING EXISTENCE. (More on that later) I am constantly understanding the role of religion, philosophy, politics, etc in human consciousness. In terms of how we got here – there’s a different answer for each branch of knowledge. It’s not always about being right or wrong. You don’t have to hang it on your wall or frame it – but explore it. Sit with it. Let life consistently be a compass. We got a long way to go and so much more to learn. This is a cause for celebration!

“There’s A Freedom That’s Arriving
You Can Feel It In Your Soul
Liberation Will Salute You
&
Release What No Longer Suits You!” – NEW WORLD FORMING /SANANDA

Dreaming of A World With More Zeros

Dreaming of A World With More Zeros

I’m dreaming of a world with more zeros. A future filled with information which doesn’t end but repeats. A loop of daily routine found in a prism of ideas, to yield more discovery. How grand it would be, for our future to endlessly reach more experiences of love.

In a time where research is easily accessible – do you ever stop to think – we have enough information already? There’s so much hidden and revealed, there can’t be anything else left for us to know, right? Nah!

There’s plenty of wisdom left to uncover. The love of wisdom is what philosophy is at the center to root. The encouragement that comes from knowledge is awe-inspiring. The potential of knowledge made to good use revives and stimulates your nerves. When information is accessed properly – it aligns your memories to your eventual dreams.

Dreaming is to uncover those random thoughts that slipped through mundanity. *Let’s be Real: Life can be incredibly stagnant and predictable.* In spite of this, A picture that you briefly looked at it – can come back as a mansion of chandeliers. These can all be set to challenge and remind you of an essence meant to be explored when you wake up.

For a moment – picture every seed as a zero. When you plant zeros in the ground – you are essentially planting nothing. That’s what it seems. A small figure that expands into something Grand. All of the proper conditions must be in sync for it to yield a worthy result. Now think of it:

Dreaming of a world with more seeds.

Wouldn’t this be Grand? Where would we plant all of these seeds? They can’t all go into the ground – that would be limiting every other pocket waiting to be filled. Plant seeds in the clouds, souls, Children, etc. You’ll never have a shortage of places to plant seeds.

The more you plant those seeds – your zeros will stand among the many.

My dream is now living life with more seeds. More opportunities that await a future that’s entwined with past and present. It’s not that hard to see. A life that encourages us to plant seeds. To intend for a result which performs positivity.

ThEnDance (Sort of Dead)

ThEnDance (Sort of Dead)

”The dance at the end
Our memories and genetics – will they transcend?
What’s left of the impact we leave behind?
The matrix of life – does it fully unwind?
How are we then able to know?
When death reveals its face – do we all glow?
The insatiable hope that our actions aren’t in vain
That we’ll find a storage facility in some Human brain
Our lives are all but smoke cast into the air
Wishing to be smelled by the nose of those that dare
A compatible willingness to be remembered by the spices of our scent
Various pictures of our taste set aside as a tent in one’s mind
We all long to be remembered with a nostalgic bind
Experiences, memories, and our written history are the makeup of our lives
The dance floor is where we release – our collective archives”

Interrogate The ‘Why’

Interrogate The ‘Why’

1.jpeg

  1. “I can’t speak for anyone else, but I either know or I don’t know.”
  2. “It is only by grace through faith that we are saved. It is sort of like saying can you be saved if someone is reaching down the grab you from a sinking ship, but you smack the hand, then no you can’t be saved cause you are rejecting what can save you.”
  3. You can have faith and be lost too. In our mindset, we know where we gonna go but in reality, things will throw us off and we can get lost for a little IF we pay attention to that escape that is prepared for us to exit to that right path. So either way, both sides can get lost with or without faith. We just need to wake up and pay attention.” 
  4. “Only in case one is religious.”
  5.  “If you’re sincere.”
  6. Belief = Faith Faith=Belief.
  7. “You can have all the faith in the world and still the one doing the saving can still choose to say no.”2.jpeg
  8. I Like To Believe That All Roads Lead Home.”
  9.  “If you ask from religious folks their answer is yes.”
  10. “All forks in the roads lead to a destination.”
  11. “Lost or found – faith has little to nothing to do with it.”
  12. “Sometimes being lost is better than being found rather than being taken back to a house that isn’t a home.”
  13. “Yes, because if you don’t keep the faith – you are already lost, but what’s wrong with being lost?”
  14. “Faith is neither here or there – it’s a word to describe hope which we all have to some extent. Not having this, doesn’t make you anymore at ‘home’ than you being lost until you get to your destination.”3.jpeg
  15. “Faith is a worthy substitute. Our “gut feeling” comes from nowhere else but the highest. Some people call it common sense. Some people call it instinct. If people ask for evidence of proof, I believe that your mind and feelings are sufficient enough.”
  16. “Faith is born of evidence given in mysterious forms.”
  17. With me, I can see the evidence unfolding but it’s not ready to give birth yet. But my faith is like it has to be there, it just has to be there, oh it’s going to be there, heck yeah it’s there!!! BAM there it is after the fact. It scares me and then I’m reminded of Him that I asked and my faith was just strong to break those walls down!
  18. Do I believe in God? Heaven and Hell? Evidence and proof of a feeling, proof of our own human minds. What is right and wrong? Judgements! Create feelings! Hate is a choice. We must unlearn! I will say this for the record. I have been told I am going to Hell because of my demonic queer, lifestyle. So ungodly! This is what I tell the people who tell me this.. To be honest, I would be happy and grateful to go to Hell. Finally surrounded by my LGBTQ family, it would be one big happy LGBTQ dance party. I would be much safer in hell, then I am, here, on earth. The reality I live, is that people want me dead, because of religion, and religious beliefs, is that being Christian? I thought that was 1 of the ten commandments,”thou shall not kill?” Oh but you’re not actually taking a gun and pulling the trigger, but you are! You are separating yourself individually and now as a collective whole with judgments, right and wrong, those bullets are silent and yet very deadly… and Yes there are real bullets too. People actually die in the LGBTQ community. Someone in my LGBT family was murdered, found dead, two weeks ago, this exists people. Check your faith people – what you believe.
  19. If it’s a belief, it’s not evident.
  20. I think the very definition of faith is to believe without evidence. If someone tells me that there’s money growing on the tree in their yard, I’m going to want evidence before I turn up with my basket and start picking! But faith is almost a form of esoteric evidence, where you know something is true, even though you don’t have the evidence required to prove it to someone else. Luckily, we don’t have to, which is why faith is usually either a very personal, or else community-focused thing. 
    I’m genuinely puzzled by religions that try to convert people because they literally have no evidence to show, so they are trying to somehow generate faith in another’s heart, and that’s like trying to make a rainbow. You can’t make a rainbow, only God (or the Universe/alternative higher power/science) can do that, and it typically needs a particular set of circumstances in the lead up to it. 
    In general (although there are exceptions), the bigger the storm, the brighter the rainbow. Similarly, the bigger the crisis, the brighter faith shines in someone’s heart when it finally arrives (and it probably doesn’t ring the doorbell!)
  21. Not having evidence and believing is Faith. 

    Thank you to everyone who participated so far! You may or may not find your answer here but this series will continue on until July. My goal in providing these answers are not to dissect the categories of where these answers stem from. Philosophy and opinions share the same veins and the goal here is to expose the blood that gets us going. Although, we are not always going. Standing still in the middle of our quest – while we interrogate the ‘WHY’. What leads us to these various paths? The more we ask – we get a little bit closer.

Obsession With Filling (Feeling) The Page

Obsession With Filling (Feeling) The Page

I gotta feel what I’m writing. In search of this ‘feeling’, I’ve had to wrestle with just how much I’m writing on a page. If I write too little will people think I had little to say? If I write too much – got damn, I’m on my Jester Rants! (Btw, my YouTube channel will resurrect with more content this year!)

I want to win but I know losing is literally trying to find out what people like/want. Trying to fit in what people expect is much like the weather. It changes from day to day, although it’s much easier to know your target market through proper analytics! I must heed this while breaking into new areas.

The motivation, inspiration, and persuasion have always been a wavy sense of connection. I’m an explorer and the more I Search – I see an undeniable encoding in various life experiences.

The more I dig, the greater this connection speaks to me. As I’m writing this – I’m already seeing several ways this blog is gonna go. How do I maintain my focus without losing the ‘feeling’?

You feel me?

It’s important to chase the feeling and follow it wherever it leads you. As of now – my thoughts are leading me to fill the space. We don’t have to keep writing but the more I do – the closer I am to getting to my point.

The lines are drawn and the door is open. The more I write what I feel, the clearer I see how everything is connected. After all, buttons Connect and that’s why we button up our shirts. The symbols I see in everyday interaction come to life through my words. My words will become a platform for discovering the hidden and visible.

I find that at times, I’m caught in between the insufferable *but pleasurable* thigh of allegory and innuendo. I enjoy the warm embrace of making sense out of philosophical possibilities. This can be a task too daunting for my readers. It makes you read a lens not so commonly visited. You stand to benefit with this-this is a remix. Something that’s already been said but my way.

2018 is here and already 14 Days Into it, I’ve had to put in the work before it arrived. I use to say “I always am writing” but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I can’t always write otherwise – I wouldn’t have time to process, read, or observe. What is true though – is I can encourage myself to write with knowledge of a paycheck or simple creative fun. Getting into the habit of writing helps me contextualize those random words that always seem to float somewhere.

This year – I am taking more seriously the notion that I’m writing a book. I’m gonna need your help. It won’t write itself but the basis of it is already laid out.

I’m excited to share with you what more my pen will reveal. After all – It’s all about writing until the pens run out! Only this time – I ain’t doing it just to fill the page as long as I’m feeling it, the hope is that you will too!

Bless up!

The Opening Quest

The Opening Quest

In preparation for further development of my book, I decided to answer several questions from one of my favorite authors Dushka Zapata.

These questions set the tone for 2018 while also inspiring me to invite you to send me questions that you have thought about existence. The goal isn’t to overthink but to answer with what you feel in the heart of the moment.

Here are my favorite 14 questions.

1. “If life had no meaning, what meaning would I create for mine?”

I’d create a meaning that would mean something to me tomorrow. A meaning that has enough nutrition to last for me and those who came after me. If no others came after me then the meaning would have to be enough to satisfy me even when I’m bored. Something to make me laugh and cry because it’s all so beautifully complex.

2. “If there was no purpose to our existence, what purpose would I give to mine to shield myself from existential despair?”

I would make it a mission to make someone think about their life and what they can do with it. I would want them to laugh at how ironic this whole game of life is. I would want to show myself and people around me how life is so short and how we should chase what gives us that rush.

3. “What matters to me? Why? And once I figure this out, can I determine an order of importance?”

Freedom matters most to me. To be at full liberty without the worry that I must stop at the disadvantage of someone’s inability to respect my equilibrium. If I could get out of someone’s way to their freedom. Establishing importance would mean to know it’s not just about me.

4. “Is there a healthy, logical correlation between my priorities and how I spend my time? If not, why?”

I give myself too much time for tasks I feel can wait. I must embed a pattern of usual, so I don’t buy into the distractions because god knows I have binged on many distractions. I think I have bought so much time because I see time as an illusion and I feel I always have time, but I’ve come to realize I don’t always have time. It’s always leaving me when I gain it.

5. “What am I afraid of? Can I learn to distinguish the fear that protects me from the fear that stops me?”

“They say everybody is afraid of something although I don’t know what actually makes me afraid now. I am drawn to the unknown and I believe fear makes us strong at times. I suppose my fear is to be consistent in the most western way of doing it. (I must always pay my bills and have enough left over) Constantly making enough that is sufficient and inspiring enough to last. The best way for me to distinguish it is to fail occasionally and not feel guilty about it.”

6.”What happens when I get what I want? Is it glorious, empty, triumphant, anticlimactic? Why?”

I usually feel content with it. Sometimes when I want something so very badly and get it – I don’t feel like it was worth the wanting. I would like to capture the gloriousness more because there’s substance in playing in that feeling. I think it becomes anticlimactic because I knew I could get it – I just didn’t think I would survive the trip to get there.

7. “What does happiness mean to me? What makes me happy and how can I capture that elusive sensation more often?”

Happiness means more laughter and learning found in simple and complex things. I think if I read more, the joy of happiness will show up more.

8. “What hurts me? How can I become stronger against what causes me to suffer? How and where can I learn to suffer less? How can I remind myself that the person who makes me suffer the most is me?”

I hurt myself when I don’t own up to my decisions and how they influence others. I should remember that I am in the driver’s seat and that my reactions can be calmer. To be mindful of silence and that words don’t always have to be spoken.

9. “What is left of me if I attempt to define myself without leaning on anything I do? I am a student, I am a writer, I am a mom, I am a manager, I am a Vice President – these are all things I do. Who am I? Where is she?”

This is a very complex one. I am here and while I am here, I want to make as much hell and fun on this trip. I observe, sleep, learn and then convert this knowledge into love for everyone around me.

10. “How can I avoid losing myself in my relationships? What are my boundaries and how do I enforce them?”

One way is to have a clear understanding that we do not belong to each other but that we are only appreciating and honoring each other’s company. That we live with the knowledge that we can together but sometimes we may steer to our own strengths by ourselves. I can enforce my boundaries by staying true to myself without shame or pressure.

11. “What do my feelings teach me about myself? If I feel anger or jealousy, can I learn not to react to these feelings but instead determine what they are trying to tell me?”

They are trying to tell me to maybe rearrange what I do not understand. To Ask more questions and to speak softly and to apologize when I’ve assumed too much. I can learn by simply remembering people are often in the same state as me. They just want clarity.

12. “What happens when I sit in silence?”

I find that the stillness in myself is still yearning to speak to myself in riddles of nothing but me, myself, and I.

13. “How can I better manage change? How can I get better at accepting how little control I have?”

Knowing that I did not choose to be born here at the time I was. Some parts are played long before I got here.

14. “How would I like to be remembered?”

“Remembered for good company with a fresh willingness to open a door that people didn’t really think about turning, making them laugh while thinking.”

If you got through all of my answers to these magnificent questions, I applaud your interest endearingly! I encourage you to answer some of these questions as well! I wanted to start 2018 with these questions because they would open up my understanding of myself and where I want to go.

I am making it a mission to write way more while reading, listening, and observing.

We can do this thing together – narrating and asking. This will help us climb the ladder for clarity among all living things!

((*Every 7th of the month from now until March – I’ll post 3 of my favorite questions (& 7 replies) that I find correlates with the book I’m working on! If you have any questions that you have asked at any time // feel free to email me at jesterj7@hotmail.com