A Reason Beyond

A Reason Beyond

When you take action against a cause are you doing it because of a reason beyond? That is to say – do we factor in how we judge something based on the intent? We’re not always given insight before we make impulse judgments. (And before you think you don’t – think about how quickly we make them.) There’s very little rhyme or reason as to why people believe what they do. Therefore, we should already have the understanding of the ridiculous from the jump. Surprises don’t have to come so sudden – keep a bit of worry in your pocket at all times.

I remember I would debate with people on how morality arrived in humanity. People like Ravi Zacharias were my heroes because it made perfect sense to me that Morality came from a code. This code had an origin and this origin was from God. I had the *unfounded* belief that people couldn’t just be good. They had to have a REASON!

Ironically, I never did things just to be rewarded by some system that favored my goodness. However, I knew and know a lot of people who think that way. Who think – the only reason why their sane is because of a code they MUST follow. If it wasn’t for the moral code, they’d do what they really want to do. I find this framework somewhat terrifying because codes like plans change. When they change you either adapt or act out against normality.

We don’t always have a reason other than ‘Just Cuz’. This isn’t always sufficient for establishing the ground of our processing ability. For instance, if you’re engulfed in a debate and your argument rests on “cuz I said so’ that’s a fallacy. Now if you say ‘It is what it is’ people get pissed. There isn’t anything really wrong with that statement and I probably say it more often than not. It just is cuz things beyond my reason to understand it make it so. Doesn’t mean that I don’t have anything else to say but I accept things are the way the rock n roll of cause and effect.

Mental Hopscotch can be exhausting when the rules are based on who agrees or who doesn’t. The pressing reason to exist is sometimes enough. Owing autonomy to someone else is really the best you can. This is where respect comes in regardless of your reason. Respecting people in the perception that you consider and have empathy for any human being. Respecting their agency. This should be freely given to everybody. Now asking somebody to submit to your authority or the law – that’s the kind of stuff that is earned.

How can we make a difference in this world if we are so set against each other? At some point we’re gonna have to look each other and face what’s looking back at us. There’s no reason to be afraid. To make rash judgments and be guided by our biases. Some of us ain’t playing fairly. Life is much like driving – you don’t just drive for yourself. They’re other people in the road and some of them didn’t learn the same way or even at all. Despite this, we don’t have to subject to nonsense. There’s a rapid disease spreading currently which exists to dethrone facts.

“In school, rarely do we learn how data become facts, how facts become knowledge and how knowledge becomes wisdom.”
– Neil Degrasse Tyson

Everything always goes back to school. What we’re learning, what we ain’t. Our whole life gives us a chance to correct backward thinking. No one is safe when knowledge is available to us all. Anyone is capable regardless of where you fit on the spectrum.

There’s a reason beyond that can be found within our memories. Just where we would be without our memories? If memories suddenly vanished from our brains we would repeat the same actions over and over again. You learn based on what has happened and you make the decision to act better to avoid whatever may come against you.

What I’m saying ain’t really new from before..*Back to your regularly scheduled program.*

Yep, we all got programs and we turn off the ones our wires don’t respond to. It’s all connected and at the same time, it ain’t. It means whatever you want it to mean. Which is a lot or a little or simply nothing at all.

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Nightmares In Jeopardy

Nightmares In Jeopardy

A nightmare came to me like a morning dream. I was fooled by the bright lights from the sun and a soft voice in my ear. Yet, there I was – stuck in a thick sweat – drowning and crying out for help. Reflections of my childhood came as a series of bright flashcards. My old church // Childhood Trauma // My dog Rocky I had when I was 12 // Making food with my grandmother in the kitchen // Marbles dropping on the newly laid tile floor // When I realized I could talk in my head // The Time I tasted a rainbow on the ground for the first time.

These all came to me like bright visions all entwined in a early cold sweat.

I screamed in terror because I couldn’t understand what was happening to me. In my waking life, I’m reminded of the words and stories that have been hidden in various pockets of my mind’s eye. Stories I neglected to share because I didn’t know what they could mean or reveal for the future.

Maya Angelou said it wonderfully:

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

Inside of us are stories that are untold. Some terrifying while others are delightful. Stories that must be told, otherwise they reveal themselves through my dreams and our subconsciousness. The freedom and dare I say – vulnerability in speaking those hidden stories can mean several things for different reasons. Scars remind us of the pain that came before. The evidence of such experiences isn’t always what the mirror wants to face. These scars are a record of the numbers that have been calculated and those calculations are the visible framework of those experiences that are added and subtracted.

Upon the math of these scars which visits my dreams, I have more questions to ask. These questions narrate which direction I’m headed. The very act of writing is liberating. It entices thoughts unvisited in speaking range. It’s such a divine feeling to write. To get it right with what’s written. Feels so casual and simply conversational. Writing makes room for where there isn’t any. It just gets in the way and then before you know it – you start asking the hard questions that visit you in your nightmares. Jeopardy finds a new home in my nightmares, but it’s cool because those questions build the story inside.

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What makes our experiences true is what gives us clarity to the lie in why we beLIEve.

 

Pain Heartbreak Then You Read

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I have read many books and have looked at too much recent history, to think this country was ever really great. // The origin of this country is really nationalistic for barbaric reasons. Slavery, Genocide, and capitalism. These things have been so normal to me – sometimes I have to remind myself I am actually living in a place TAKEN from Native Americans. Slaves (some are actually in my bloodlines) worked day in and day out and DID not get paid for their labor. We were instead raped, isolated, cut off from our families, and indoctrinated to believe “slaves were to obey their masters”. We were not actually considered human beings under law. While these things seem so long ago they aren’t and we are still living through the trauma of these atrocities. So no. I can’t think this country is great when the numbers speak for themselves. Reading the story connects the reality why my face curves when people talk about THIS GREAT COUNTRY. 😀

How To Not Get Annoyed (As Much)

How To Not Get Annoyed (As Much)

I really hate when people say “Thank You For Your Patience…”

Thank me for my patience? How do you know I’m giving you any amount of patience? I’m left with no choice but to wait on your word. Even if I wanted to do something about it, I couldn’t. I’d have to deal with the fact that I am unable to deal with it. That makes me want to scream in madness!

BUT, it wouldn’t change the situation, would it? I’d still be left without any choice in the matter. So I guess, I am exercising my patience since I have no choice. Still, it makes me scream inwardly. What a troll move, to thank me for something I am not really giving you – but have no choice to give you because I can’t-do anything about it.

That’s what happens when someone gives the rules and you have to follow through. Sure you could make a fuss about it publicly. You can curse them out. File a complaint and be unforgiving, but what would that really prove?

I’ve realized lately, it does more harm to good to scream about something you can’t change. After it’s said it done, here is where you are and you got to keep pushing. Keep making moves. Those moves may be seen as reactionary to yourself but as long as you keep going, you won’t get too annoyed.

I don’t have a formula for you to compute to bypass being annoyed at things you can’t change. Especially, when you are thanked for doing something you didn’t actively choose. It’s the way of life. This year especially has been very direct when it comes to changes, almost not giving you enough time to process. The process of acceptance can take time, which is what leads me to the next point.

When things change without any direction such as accidents, there isn’t much you can do but deal with it responsibly. Give yourself time to breathe. Ponder the alternatives. Consider the different turns that come up when making a decision. Reach out if you need to. Remain calm.

Sometimes you gonna just lose your cool because pain hurts. A way to get better at dealing with annoyance is accepting your role in the plot. If everything is one big movie, you can expect the climax to arise. Here is your chance to turn the channel with the remote of your reaction.

“Take Back Control of Your Emotions”. Take Back? We risk our emotions being hijacked by the expectations that we have to do, what others want us to do. We risk being programmed to mute what we really want to do. Make no mistake about your freedom and your ability to own what comes to you. The more risks we are able to take the less afraid we are to what comes second.

Anger, Frustration, Fear, and Misunderstanding are normal emotions to shuffle with from time to time. They are always in the pocket of surprise. Yielding to these characteristics upon the first reaction to change is what puts us against the grain. When the sequence changes you got to bite into what that change will manifest. This is where we are now, so let’s make noise. Make noise in the direction to build a new solution.

Making known your voice is imperative. You have joined the party by the measure of your participation. You were invited to a change of spectrum. So you think you can dance? What about when the music stops? Can you hear the heartbeat in the silence? Is that your heart beating? You may be nervous – So dance to the beat and follow with the purpose of syncopation. Your feet must parade with a pronounced celebration.  It’s your party now. You can change the channel. Spin your own tunes. Dance to the music.

For who goes and who stays in the music? The sound is played and the movement begins. Get in the zone. Go into a deep spell by being possessed by the strikes of the melody. This means you got to listen. If you are gonna go crazy. Let it because you have become a fool to the muse of music.

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn’t hear the music.” – Nietzche

And so it begins.

The Time Keeper (See Where You Are)

I just finished watching ‘The Time Keeper’ by Mitch Albom!

 

It’s a book with massive critical acclaim and for good reasons!

I won’t indulge each and every passage that enveloped the story but my abbreviations are heavy with a sense of parallel discovery.

 

Right after, I finished reading the book immediately as I went to lay, the song ‘See Where You Are’ by Amel Larrieux stormed within my heart. The lyrics speak of exactly,  what the book manages to explore.

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“It’s zippin by
Like speed of light
Or draggin painfully slow
It’s not enough
Or just too much
Either way it’s gonna go”

TIME, what truly is it all about? I’ve written very much about time, the paradox of its nature, the believability that it is given. While reading the book, what I managed to enjoy are those random slices of revelation! Mitch, often dropped knowledge as a poetry entrance, to concur with the setting of what he talked spoke about! I started to read the book backward, but I’ll manage to now quote some of my favorite slices from end to the beginning.

 

 

“Everything man does today to be efficient, to fill the hour? It does not satisfy. It only makes him hungry to do more. Man wants to own his existence. But no one owns time”

 

 

“With endless time, nothing is special. With no loss sacrifice, we can’t appreciate what we have.”

 

 

“When we’re most alone is when we embrace another loneliness / But…Hurting ourselves to inflict pain on others is just another cry to be loved”

 

“Einstein once postulated that if you traveled at an enormous rate of speed, time would actually slow down relative to the world you left behind, so that seeing that future without aging alongside it was, at least theoretically possible.

 

“He did not know that the child who asked for yesterday was now seeking to own tomorrow”

 

“But a man who can take anything will find most things unsatisfying. And a man without memories is just a shell.

 

 

“In this world, he heard a constant hum, as if a hundred sounds were being mashed into one note. He didn’t yet know this was the sound of a single slowed moment”

 

 

These were quotes that really managed to detail the moments in time, which have brought a sense of measuring eternity. The book motivated me to see where I am. Which brings me back to Amel!

What you wanted is what you have
Or isn’t it
What you are is out of your hands
Or isn’t it

Lay down your pencil
Computer off
Say not a word
Get out of your car
Step away from your desk
Don’t look at the clock
Stand there in silence

And see where you are
And see where you are
And see where you are
And do you wanna be where you are”

 

This song motivates us, to lay down what we are writing. DO WE EVEN KNOW, WHAT WE ARE WRITING? Turn the computer off, and observe the silence! This song really enveloped my thought process because, lately, that is exactly what I have been doing lately. Staying quiet and not looking at the clock. There is a lot in my life going on…But I am stepping away from my desk. Just to see where I am..I realize I don’t want to be where I am.

 

She goes even deeper in the next lyrics:

 

It’s everything
A vivid dream
Or not worth talking about
The big idea
Until it’s here
And then they’re taking the

house

What you wanted is what you have
Or isn’t it
What you are is out of your hands
Or isn’t it

 

What we often want is what we have, and many times we feel is that it is out our hands!

Ah yes
Feeling the implications
Of somebody else’s
Expectations
You could elope if you wanted to

DO you want to is the question?

Pregnant Gestation

“When you know it’s right, sometimes you feel like something’s coming, a gestation, almost like a pregnancy or something. You get emotional and you start to feel something gestating and magic, there it is! It’s an explosion of something that’s so beautiful, you go WOW! There it is. That’s how it works through you, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s a universe of where you can go, with those 12 notes!”
– Michael Jackson

Innocence + Knowledge!

“And that’s what innocence is. It’s simple and trusting like a child, not judgmental and committed to one narrow point of view. If you are locked into a pattern of thinking and responding, your creativity gets blocked. You miss the freshness and magic of the moment. Learn to be innocent again, and that freshness never fades.Human knowledge consists not only of libraries of parchment and ink – it is also comprised of the volumes of knowledge that are written on the human heart, chiseled on the human soul, and engraved on the human psyche.”

– Michael Jackson