Pursuit // Pleasure

Pursuit // Pleasure

*The following script, is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…” which is due for release at the beginning of 2019.

Palmar: Hey, have you tried the new app Fructose that allows you to explore the depths of glucose?

Allegra: Ah! Yes! It’s so good. Every time I think I should put it down – it proves me to be a liar because I can’t let it go. It’s like that chip you keep coming back too and the lemonade your grandmother makes! It’s just addictive like crack, honestly! lol!

Palmar: That’s what I heard and probably precisely why I ain’t trying to give it a go. I don’t want to do anything that makes me a slave to it.

Allegra: Who claimed you’d be a slave to it?

Palmar: Well, you mentioned crack and grandma’s lemonade…I’d say it’s quite powerful. Powerful enough to be the master of your senses. If it makes you a liar that means you can’t contest it.

Allegra: I never tried to contest it because I enjoy indulging it so much.

Palmar: Have you tried to abstain from it to see how your body would react to it?

Allegra: I ain’t trying to break away from it because I worry I might be dependent on it and you know the body develops dependence to some substances. If an alcoholic goes cold turkey it could literally kill them because they abused it for so long.

Palmar: So, would you say you abuse fructose?

Allegra: I suppose, I do. But we all abuse various things in life – I don’t think it’s a big deal.

Palmar: If you don’t want to live long and develop various diseases – you do have a point.

Allegra: Yeah but I don’t see why you are making it seem as if pursuing pleasure is a bad thing, we all have our various vices.

Palmar: You know what they say: Everything in moderation. If you feel you can’t resist fructose you might to want to start cutting it out one day at a time. Cold turkey might not be the best alternative but slowly breaking away from your addiction secures a better future for your mental and physical health.

Allegra: But I like fructose, why break away from what I like?

Palmar: Not all vices are remedies to the consequences that come from them.

Allegra: Ok. Well, I’m going to do me, and you can do you.

Palmar: So, are you saying you rather continue to head down a cycle of abuse because this is YOU right now?

Allegra: All I said is I’ll do me, and you will do you. I never asked you to lecture me about the dangers of fructose. I am aware of how bad it could be. However, as with anything they’re loopholes.

Palmar: I reckon those loopholes are very few.

Allegra: So, are you going to interrogate me about this from this day forth? Are you going to continually remind me how I’m killing myself and recommend me articles and links to help me get better or what? Do you think most obese and overweight people know they are or should they be constantly reminded of this fact?

Palmar: Healthy reminders shouldn’t be triggers.

Allegra: But they shouldn’t reinforce a sense of evangelism either. You can say what you need without judging me for it or educating me on something that I already know about. Some of us are on our way dying and can’t be convinced to change their habits. (Maybe they want to die or don’t care much for changing) No need to put me through an intervention. If I was on my death bed and I wanted to try LSD would you refuse me of that? Would you tell someone who is already dying that they should take proper steps to ensure they live longer? For what purpose? I don’t have children or a partner depending on my life.

Palmar: So, if you had children or a partner – that wouldn’t compel you to live longer?

Allegra: I’m not totally sure. That’s not why I do what I do. I have plenty of friends including yourself that may want the best for me. I just want you to know I understand the risks and if experience leads me to make a remarkable change then I’ll oblige but for now, I’ll enjoy my fructose but take more consideration to moderation.

Palmar: That’s good, I’m happy to hear that.

Allegra: I hope you live long and stay clear from the range of accidents! You know you never know when they may happen. *chuckles*

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Bees Swarming

Bees Swarming

My brain is on overload. My heart steady yearns for clarity amidst the noise. The future is calling me like bees swarming around honey. The time restraints that mirror my ancient age. Apparently, I don’t look as old as I feel in relation to where I thought I’d be. None of us are spared from the light from the stars which look back at us.

I’m still looking to be found. My voice is at the lowest barrow. I want to unlock my own inner jams. The more I rehearse these lines over and over – I’m waiting for the great performance. Performance anxiety is a real battle, yet staying present is a mindful formula.

Setting aside time to remember what this moment means is crucial. Air pilot reactions must die in the foreign flame. A period can no longer be the end all be all. The statement in question must be brought to the jury. My will is to testify, yes my intentions are to show up on the stand. Like The gears change when I drive a standard car – my focus must be in tune.

Whenever I am filled with the little that is left – my heart yearns for more. The resemblance to an abundance of thoughts is uncanny to nothing right beside me. We are living in the time where powers are being torn down. Structures no longer are able to maintain their foundations. The people have started a revolution! After years and years of being ignored and not seen for their actual scars – we the people have awakened.

At this point, it’s not about who’s sleeping but rather when awake, they get to the business of connecting the dots found in their dreams. The history of our philosophies is engineered by personal experiences which are then led by the examples of our fathers and mothers. Who do we blame for the pedigree of where our steps have led?

There a lot of people to point to. Everyone ain’t innocent but does that by default make us all guilty? I suppose we all make it up as we go along. There’s a whole a lot to remember and not much to forget when every experience is lived up to complete formation. This doesn’t mean it’ll be easy rather a challenge to return to the NOW. Let’s face it: The now can be freighting and exhausting – but by being present in it – our moments are longer.

Swarming buzzes in and out my ear. I don’t want to swap the life out of them. But damn, their noise is a growing pest. I’ll be damned if I’ll let them sting me, at the expense of their life. They encourage me to visit their queen – the soul of honey is at the center. As going around the honeycomb-like a bee – I’ll Be exactly who and where I need to be.