Premonition, Paranoia, Fear or The Heart?

Premonition, Paranoia, Fear or The Heart?

Can it be Premonition, Paranoia, Fear, or The Heart?

I feel something coming. It’s coming to arrest me. To lock me up inside a cell of confusion. I don’t want to get lost. I only want to be found at the bay of safety. I’m being stalked by the shadow. Everywhere I turn the light follows me but so does this shadow. I have no secret place away from this troubling feeling. I am taken away by the travels of fear and paranoia – they are driving me further into my shadow existence.

My feelings are witnessing to a Premonition that something is gonna arrive and it will leave me without reason or answer. Listening to the heart means sometimes doing the unthinkable. The heart might as well be our inward eyes. It sees what reality is for what it is made up out of. It can’t unsee what it sees. No matter how we try to put on the shades to protect ourselves from the radiation of what we see.

The longing for something better has once again returned.

I lie awake at night on fire, my core literally burns.

That familiar voice that is my own tells me to run and hide.

The only problem is that there’s nowhere to go; how can I run from my own insides?

Is it so bad to long for what’s unknown and simultaneously known?

I cry out, asking for help, asking simply to be shown.

Is it selfish that I want recognition for what it is I’ve done?

Even if I give all of the credit to the Ultimate One?

Is it selfish that I want it to be my name that is spoken?

Is it selfish that I want some appreciation, even a small token?!

It seems the only thing to do is wait until the end.

I must wait until our eternal lives are slated to begin.

Only then will these questions asked be answered with no bias.

When these notions of an ever-dwindling time are simply put behind us.

(Timeless Burning – Sylina D. Black)

This poem totally rhymes with my heart and the overall direction of this piece. Thank you again Sylina – for remaining right on time with your subject, motif, and genre.

The heart never lies because it’s beating to keep you alive. Navigating through the multilayered sound of the heart can confuse what fear, paranoia, or premonition offers. It’s best to start off with love because love returns everything to focus.

When you don’t have love to back things up, you are literally screwed. If love ain’t the backbone and foundation – you only have curse words and empty promises. Nothing ahead of you can make a clear path. You are destroyed with only memory and fainted desires to build with plastic wood. You can’t move to a safe place if love isn’t already your safe place. If you build with weak tools and equipment, eventually everything is gonna crumble and retire back to inflated wheels.

This is why love must be the champion in a relationship. If it doesn’t keep you coming back, love was never there. You believed falsely. You thought it was true only to find out you were robbed of honesty. You got hoaxed. Fooled by the enormities of emotion and pleasure.

You believed in what was real in the idea but false in reality. You gonna have to pay for this sacrifice by offering another promise. You won’t win this time, you’ll have to replenish it again. You lost but only to gain again consciousness. You gotta hit harder but only to the right target.

 

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Psychedelic Vibration (A Spontaneous Night With Shpongle)

 

Lately, my experiences have been spontaneously laced with a riddle. Last night was exactly that. (3/27/15)
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I’m not entirely familiar with Shpongle but by the recommendation out of a conversation with my homie Jeremy. He makes music himself, which has several different styles incorporated.

 

Check him out on: http://jeremygarnermusic.bandcamp.com/

The both of us, have collaborated in times passed, and we have recently paired up in the near future (AFLW). I value his taste and interest, as we connect on a similar level, as it concerns sound and the ways in which vibration is understood.

So, when he mentioned to me, that Shpongle was actually performing in MPLS – I found the opportunity worth seizing. I wasn’t exactly doing anything and I know what experience he had when he witnessed him. Granted, his experience was not just music, it was more of a trip. We both ended up experiencing the similar effects.

Several different tides occurred which made the concert even more eventful. For starters, Jeremy wrote a book out of inspiration from listening to their music which he mailed off to me months ago. We were hoping maybe, I could pass it onto Shpongle himself. On my way out, I ended up carrying the book in my backpack. Although, I was told there was a strict NO BACKPACK Policy. SO I had to unwillingly place the backpack underneath a car, as I was not wanting to go back on the train to bring it back.

To my surprise, I arrived extremely early (About 9:20) because Shpongle was not set to perform until midnight. Overwhelmed by the anxiety of my bag being underneath a car, and the sweat and energy of drunk people besides me. I decided to leave, to only return back closer to his set. That also meant, getting something to eat! Which was a win, as I was extremely hungry!

I ate and made my way back on the train back to the event. (No backpack with me, as I managed to put the book in my coat) As soon, as I arrived back to the venue, there was an overwhelming amount of people all seemingly within a trace, responding to the master Shpongle. The music was different from anything I had ever experienced. Usually, I would be against going to an event like this, because it’s Electronica for the most part. A music genre I am extremely critical of in the POP sense. (Maybe if it wasn’t so dominating, and if there was a mix of it on the radio) But Shpongle manages to translate his sound in a unique vibration.

 

Firstly, everyone, there was all invested. Some of them with lights on their hands dressed with individual gadgets of lights. SO many different kinds of people and it seemed that all of them came with a purpose. All of them responding to the music in their own way.

On top of that, they were intoxicated, and many of them were smoking. Yet the energy was somehow plural and singular. Plural in that, all of them were consciously speaking the same language. BUT singular in that, all of them spoke the way they understood it.

The bass and sounds were entering into me with a baptizing effect. Like I was drinking in all of the sounds. At one point I had to move to an isolated part of the room because some people were banging their heads on me.HA!

 

Once, I managed to find an area, I closed my eyes and noticed the unpredictability of the music. There were very few loops, as I was always surprised when the next stab came along. For about an hour and 20 mins, Shpongle became an instrument. It was a very detailed experience filled with visuals and trance. I think, if I was alone experiencing it, it would be a very abstract experience even more so. With all the people there with me, made it a very collective journey. AND once again, all equipped with different clothing.

I was mesmerized by the vibration, and really glad I managed to make it, even as I felt very alone. Alone, in the sense that I was limited in my expression of the vibration because I was trying to understand it. I tried to find Shpongle after the show, but security was heavy so I was not able to give him the book, but ALL things in perfect timing!

On my way home, the whole thing took a greater turn for confusion. So many people were drunk – cause it’s the weekend, and people want to have fun with the spirits. While waiting for the train, it arrived about 30 minutes after the show. (So about 2:46AM) I did something I never thought I was capable of doing. FELL ASLEEP ON THE TRAIN.

Granted I was tired, but I did not expect to respond to my sleep by actually falling asleep! I woke up at the airport terminal, and I had to wait about 3 and 1/2 hours before the train came. What made it more an eerie experience was that one of the guys there tried to attack me. He failed. Yet, he succeeds in that he got 8 dollars after I threw it at him. It amazes me how spirits engage the personality. I really started to feel for him as I noticed his pleas.

I was not harmed, if anything it woke me up. There was ultimately no threat, only an invitation to what’s around me.

I really enjoyed the experience overall, as now I have a better understanding of how that particular sound is understood for me. I’m studying my reactions and becoming more aware of what psychedelic vibration means.

Just another story, I’ll be able to share! BIG shout out to Jeremy for helping me experience Shpongle! I have a feeling, I’ll be able to carry out the vision more clearly when I check them out live again.

It’s always cool when multiple colors are able to congregate and minister within an individual yet collective vision.

Psychedelic Vibration is Shpongle.

The Tao of Pimpin’ By Blue!

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Well, damn!

That’s been my reaction after reading the wealth of knowledge engrained in the book ‘The Tao of Pimpin’

It’s interesting how, I met Blue (The Author and pimp herself) It was through a post shared by a mutual friend of ours, Jamilah. I noticed her posts, and she always seemed to make me laugh and think. However, it was her social conscious delivery that made me realize too. She had songs like ‘Don’t Get Your Ass Beat By The Police’ which still, remains one of my favorite jams even now. From then on, we kept in conversation through Facebook and her website.

When I realized she was writing this book, I did not think twice about putting my order in! A couple of days later, I picked it up and I was simply overwhelmed by the knowledge in this book. It’s not the most important if you read it from Z to A or some letter in between — the point is the same. ‘It’s Pimping Baby’

If you’re looking to determine some secret formula to pimping, you’ve already forgotten the Dynamic process.

Throughout the book, you are minded of this process.

Pimps, Ho’s, Hustlers, Scallywags, Outlaws, and pigs are apart of this process.

You must be wise and discover, Real Pimping’ is when you overstand. Real talk.

Real Pimping.

Through the passages of this book, I’ve been aware of the system of pimping in my own walk. She brought out a wealth of points which are revealed through your everyday living.

I recommend this book, to the youth! Everybody needs a closer examination of a system that has been in existence since the genesis.

Pimpin’ has been around longer than you imagine. Look beyond the cane, rag, and cup. Your inner pimp is reminded through the code of this book, how to thrive in the midst of everyone else.

She sheds light on how to respond to everyone. The wit in this book is unbearable. It makes you literally THINK, but it is given in such a way a child can understand.

Literally imperative, by the notion that it keeps you awaken to your inner pimp. Everyone has this pimp, dying to be fed. Here is the letter, and spirit, in which she delivers these formations. Her knowledge is understood, with no contradiction, but with the marriage of essence.

IN light of my appreciation of this book, here are 7 of my favorite quotes which have helped my next steps.

“Real Pimpin’ is like water. Water don’t fight. Water don’t flee. Water don’t compete with the powers that be. Water don’t need no music. Water don’t need no pro’s. Water flows where no one goes. Water is subject to the way. The How. Water stays at peace with the Tao.”

“Hos never ho by force. Hos ho by choice. When a ho chooses a pimp, a ho made a ho decision. If a pimp uses force to get a ho, then the pimp doesn’t have a ho. The pimp has a slave and slavery is a violation of the 13th amendment of the United States Constitution and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights declared by The General Assembly of The United Nations.”

“Stay cool. Let all things take their course. If a  pimp isn’t holding on, a pimp has no attachments and therefore, has nothing to lose. So why force things? Why resist?”

“Fear is the greatest illusion know to human beings. When people get scared, they start preparing to defend themselves; searching for a fight. There’s no greater  violation of our oneness than the preparation to fight one another”

“A wise pimp won’t brag or boast, yet still receives due credit. she doesn’t celebrate her work, so she has no need to self edit.”

“Real Pimpin’ has no agenda. She thinks with the people, loving the lover and the haters. She’s kind to the good, and she’s kind to the bad. she trusts, everyone, whether they deserve it or not.”

WONDERING WHAT THE TAO IS?

“The Tao has no definition. You can define other things in terms of the Tao but you cannot define the Tao in terms of anything else. To define The Tao, you would have to define it in terms of itself. That’s like defining “Consciousness” using  “Consciousness” in that definition, At best, you just said what you said, but you ain’t said shit for real.”

So, I encourage you all to find the passion and lesson in this book! You can order right here!YOU WILL NOT BE MISLED, BUT FOUND.

Also, check out her website!

The Map

“Nobody ever said that a map is ‘proof’ that a certain place on the map exists – but if they are curious enough to follow that map, they may discover for themselves that it does in fact exist – after which they can then speak from experience and claim that the ‘map’ is in fact accurate….Someone who looks at the map and then says ‘that place doesn’t exist!’ before they have even followed the map – is to me, more foolish than the one whom they are mocking for having followed the map…”

– Jeremy Garner

The Prayer of Depth

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My prayer is that you will awaken and assure me in my most dire attempts. When I falter between the influx of my intention and your will. You are the answer! All of my hope is in you, my faith is because of your faithfulness. Truly you’re so great and wonderful, all majesty which is truly in you! You beckon at my seas and you roar with grand love! You’re precious and you’re my own! I am yours and our relationship is kept by your power. Thank you for the continual grace. You pour into me such beauty and love. I truly love you because you love me!  It never ends because your love has no beginning or end. It goes on forever much like your love continues to awaken me in my most hopeless hour! Within, I can speak to you and you listen! All of my roaring depictions are heard in the tempest of my frail frame. As I look onto the others which cover the pursuit of their own, without navigation. I can’t help but see a portion of me, a glance of my own covetousness. I endlessly sought my own conjecture, to beckon of a need, that is greater! What becomes known in the depth, is my unique fingerprint. Many voices which are crying out, and I know we should hear them call.

 

Voices cryin’ out in the night hear them call
Voices cryin’ out, hear them call

It’s a night like no other night
It’s a day almost turning gray
It’s a heart like a broken heart
It’s a wheel at the end of day

It’s a life of a boy who’s scared
Of the waves rushing out
And the wind in the air
It’s a sight of one longing to taste of life

Voices crying out in the night hear them call
Voices from some foreign shore

Visions that seem an incredible dream
Echoing for more

Voices crying out in the night hear them call
Voices crying out hear them call

It’s a song of a love unsung
It’s the pain of just being young
It’s a cry of a voice unheard
Of a face speaking silent words

It’s a hope that the time goes by
Take you upon a wing
Teach your soul to fly
It’s a wish that you’ll live your experience life

Voices crying out in the night hear them call
Voices from some foreign shore

Vision that seem an incredible dream
Echoing for more

Voices crying out in the night hear them call
Voices crying out, hear them call

Oh, do you know how it feels to be free
Walking your path of life
Embracing destiny
One day at a time

Voices cryin’ out
(Oh, can’t you hear them)
Voices cryin’ out
(Listen please, listen to the future)

– Donna Summer

Vexed Panting

My blood is panting like on an African Safari.
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I was kept on a journey that tasted like a volcanic fantasy and destination.
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My body raved of a secret understood only between the curves and a rising agent which belong to me.
 
Silently my eyes remember what great presence your sincere frame belongs to.
 
The life which is being witnessed by the balanced giving of your charity.
 
You bite just enough to keep my mind on a vexed motivation.
 
I’ve known you to be a seed planter, and you carefully drop this amidst the growing perimeters.
 
You speak with a delighted gesture of peace, and a piece of me is grand as it is aware.
 
This is not a flaunted boasting of your most tempting rewards, rather humble auctions of your sensual blessings.
 
Actually, I’ve become familiar with the ground as I am grasping for air.
 
My body aches as it conveys a breaking down of carnal indulgence like I’ve never experienced before.
 
Messages are being tracked within the vessels of my words unto you.

Spoiled Oasis

 

 

Salvador Dali always manages to express his power through so many illustrations. It’s a quite sensual piece. Safe to say, I am truly and remarkably moved by the meaning! I wrote this a while back, being inspired after I had awakened from a dream of being drowned by an oasis. I also found a lot of inspiration from Martika’s ‘Coloured Kisses’:

“You give me, give me colored kisses
Colored kisses for my lips to taste
You lead me, lead me to an oasis
An oasis where I can lay
My head on your shoulder and pray”

It’s one of my favorite jams, I love how colorful it is. It’s safe to say, being spoiled by a beautiful oasis really grants my thirst!

 

Just a fountain of forever – a waterfall of regeneration
Wisely laying beside the water brooks
I am thirsty for my lips to taste the freshest springs that run into me
This oasis is my home – as I was born into the spell of the waters
Once it was then possible to drown my veins
As I tried to break free from the liquids of eternity
It isn’t so easy to harmonize with the rushing waters because the waves cover and cruise the motion of the ocean
The heart of my livelihood
Rests at the sleepless sounds of the night
Come to me and arise with a crush of transparency
Find yourself at the foundation of all living
Organize the species of all life and silence the scientific hypothesis of the origin
The rivers yearn for the spoiling of fresher rainfalls
The drought captivates the deadly sting of rotten righteousness
Blades are becoming rusty as they cut the lengths of watery pastries

Currrent Ascension

H3r3 it is, the number that qualifies the selections of joy!

Piercing and exciting is the revelation that you are inside of. A L I G N M E N T

A L I G N M E N T

Stepping into the lines which are graphed onto your own variable.

 

The strength is inclined to pick up what you are unable to carry!

7 + 7 is 14.

But what does it all mean?!…2+0+1+4

The moment of NEW WAVES OF POWER!

Feeling light grow and glow in All My Dreams!!

It begins!

Herein the ascension…

THIS IS THE YEAR OF ALIGNMENT

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Throne

Excuse my slander and pardon my speech. I’ve traveled to the streets of gloom and have become arrested by condemnation. Steadily, I walk to the throne, wherein I am given full access. I sob in the love that is poured onto and into me. Forgiveness is given again, in the journey of my growth. 

Mathematically, I am unable to reverse and calculate the measures I have written down. Miraculously – I am yet given the sleep my spirit anxiously longs.  The peace that passes all understanding comes from The One. This peace serenades –  in the midst of war and challenge of resolution.
I remember writing this down, during a period that really brought a stronger realization to the Throne. I felt like I slandered my own name, and my speech wasn’t according to the wisdom that was embedded within me. I traveled to the streets of gloom and was arrested by this condemnation. Knowing, that truly there is no more condemnation. The ‘SIN’ Problem is no longer in effect. Those things were taken care of years before. Even as my forgiveness was met unto me –  I am living in a miracle! Truly we are all given this miracle. The throne has truly enveloped me to the place I now stand.

Possessed Silence

In the quality of my time and definition, there is room for space and to acknowledge silence. When the voices of my inner desires motivate a sense of repetitive actions. My silence falls into an unpronounceable recitation. The fashion and infallible gestures are those things which come from what is primitively ethereal.

Summarized Notion For Thought: Allow the possession of space, to design the silent utterance.