H & I

H & I

*This post came to me in a dREaM – so if some of it doesn’t make any sense, you should probably sleep on it and then write down your dreams – then try correlating the lines.* If you don’t want to read through all of the lines of explanation – here’s a sentence to simplify it for you. “By surrendering your “I” (ego) you create a bridge to cross.”

I” is a bridge to cross. When explaining yourself – to someone else, think of the capital letter ‘H’. There are two poles on opposite ends but have the equal lines to connect what’s in the middle.

The line (“I”) in the middle should be seen as the ego. In order to understand where someone is coming from, one must surrender their ego simultaneously so their cargo (argument) can be successfully delivered.

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The ego must submit as to not get in the way. A bridge is essential if you want a shortcut instead of carrying extra baggage because by then everyone could have missed your point. The feeling of being wrong is one that we often run away from.

All of us are convinced on opposite ends that what we’re saying is valid. We tend to believe the information that confirms our side. We blindly may accept the normative played out without challenging the veracity of such sides.

Getting to where we want to go means discipline but also curiosity. How much would you love the end result? Even if the result is not in your favor. For energy comes and goes. Sometimes it may stick around other times it may convert into something else. It may be useful or a pest – dealing with the volume of passing chemicals is, after all, a potentially deadly experience.

As it turns out, meeting in the middle is often actually just one person bowing down and compromising for another person. If someone wants to do one thing and another doesn’t want to do it – meeting in the middle is either one person deciding to do it or the other deciding not to do it.

It’s not good enough to half do it. It’s also like a see-saw. One is up and the other is down.

A great way to simplify the H & Bridge is by a lyric from Prince: “If eye say 11, U can say it’s 7 – still eye wish u heaven.”

Truth is: there is no such thing as winning an argument *at least there shouldn’t be*. Imagine you on one side screaming your head off while the other person is screaming their head off. The two of you alternating between highs and lows – uppercuts and low blows.

One player feels like an aggressive antagonist. The other one reduced and misunderstood. The relationship is spoiled, the argument is specifically engineered – guaranteed to be exact – to be repeated. A circle that never reaches any conclusion.

Shoulders are tense. Arms are tightly embracing the opposite arm. The mood is stubborn.

If the person you are trying to win an argument against is important to you, then you may see how using the word “winning” is really misused.

*unless you really enjoy stomping to the beat of your own drum without yielding to the other bandmates – so that they may fancy the chance, to solo to their heart’s content!*

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Obsession With Filling (Feeling) The Page

Obsession With Filling (Feeling) The Page

I gotta feel what I’m writing. In search of this ‘feeling’, I’ve had to wrestle with just how much I’m writing on a page. If I write too little will people think I had little to say? If I write too much – got damn, I’m on my Jester Rants! (Btw, my YouTube channel will resurrect with more content this year!)

I want to win but I know losing is literally trying to find out what people like/want. Trying to fit in what people expect is much like the weather. It changes from day to day, although it’s much easier to know your target market through proper analytics! I must heed this while breaking into new areas.

The motivation, inspiration, and persuasion have always been a wavy sense of connection. I’m an explorer and the more I Search – I see an undeniable encoding in various life experiences.

The more I dig, the greater this connection speaks to me. As I’m writing this – I’m already seeing several ways this blog is gonna go. How do I maintain my focus without losing the ‘feeling’?

You feel me?

It’s important to chase the feeling and follow it wherever it leads you. As of now – my thoughts are leading me to fill the space. We don’t have to keep writing but the more I do – the closer I am to getting to my point.

The lines are drawn and the door is open. The more I write what I feel, the clearer I see how everything is connected. After all, buttons Connect and that’s why we button up our shirts. The symbols I see in everyday interaction come to life through my words. My words will become a platform for discovering the hidden and visible.

I find that at times, I’m caught in between the insufferable *but pleasurable* thigh of allegory and innuendo. I enjoy the warm embrace of making sense out of philosophical possibilities. This can be a task too daunting for my readers. It makes you read a lens not so commonly visited. You stand to benefit with this-this is a remix. Something that’s already been said but my way.

2018 is here and already 14 Days Into it, I’ve had to put in the work before it arrived. I use to say “I always am writing” but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I can’t always write otherwise – I wouldn’t have time to process, read, or observe. What is true though – is I can encourage myself to write with knowledge of a paycheck or simple creative fun. Getting into the habit of writing helps me contextualize those random words that always seem to float somewhere.

This year – I am taking more seriously the notion that I’m writing a book. I’m gonna need your help. It won’t write itself but the basis of it is already laid out.

I’m excited to share with you what more my pen will reveal. After all – It’s all about writing until the pens run out! Only this time – I ain’t doing it just to fill the page as long as I’m feeling it, the hope is that you will too!

Bless up!

Gradual (Not Immediate) Approximately

Gradual (Not Immediate) Approximately

Are you aware of the ‘Trans-Theoretical Model’? (TTM)

It comes in 5 Stages:

(1) Pre-contemplation – When one is unaware that change is necessary.

(2) Contemplation – When one recognizes the problem but not fully committed to changing it.

(3) Preparation – When one decides a change is necessary – When one Makes an effort.

(4) Action – When one puts into motion the action to deal with the problem.

(5) Maintenance – Goes hand in hand with action – Also where urges arise to encourage a relapse into the same behaviors.

We don’t always take into account how long It takes to changing behavioral patterns. As most things in life teach us – it ain’t that simple and the complications should be honored. These steps provide a layout that reminds us of the pieces that form the full picture of recovery. Even when you’re on the last step – it’s important to keep track of progress.

It’s easy and expected to get lost on your road to recovery and it’s very plausible that you may relapse. We aren’t always understanding of this struggle but exercising empathy is one of the best traits we can use for one another. This doesn’t mean we excuse toxic behavior in favor or someone’s journey – but again to exercise empathy is a great reward.

At best we are only approximating solutions. We’re all looking through the glass dimly through scuffs and bruises. Which is close enough, TBh. We are gradually getting to where we need to be. If history serves us correctly, it takes time and failure.

Trial and error.

We can learn an awful lot if we use what’s around us to our advantage. There is a lot which is beyond our reach but so many things close to our distance. It’s better if we deal with what’s in front of us rather than overlook what’s just around the corner.

Which leads me to my next point.

When was the last time you thought about the importance of reading?

NEWS FLASH: Most folks – don’t read.

Headlines are not articles. Articles aren’t always volumes but if properly condensed you can pack a lot of information in a few paragraphs. You don’t have to travel to discover more about the people around you. Reading is fundamental and while this is clear – it’s often forgotten about. Books are becoming less and less interested in mass consumption.

The link between bad behaviors and reading inevitably cross in light of new information.

It suddenly dawned me on just how a vast many of us are indeed ‘programmed’. When I say suddenly – I don’t mean out of nowhere. It didn’t reveal itself from the blanket of nothingness. Rather – upon careful observation of our various climates and conditions. We (Humans) are a special breed of Living energies and the way we cope knowledge and information have never been easier at the dawn of this internet age.

^^ I saw this and laughed myself into a deeply thoughtful analysis which is the basis of this blog post.

How many of us are really informed because of the tools made available to us for FREE on the Internet? Water is life and So is The Internet and I’ve already talked about this before – so I won’t go too far on that.

When I think of being ‘programmed’ it’s not by some pseudo prophetic cyber chip implanted in our fingers and hands. It’s more indirect. We have far better access than we’ve ever had in history. Regardless of this, many of us are ignorant of those around us. We simply don’t know because we’re plugged into the system of paying bills and finding out what’s next to eat. This pattern of daily living can get ruthless and if you’re not stimulating your brain by renewing perspectives – like a languid body sitting constantly, you become stuck.

We may not be DEEP or Intellectual enough to break it down from the micro and macro but with the connection of knowledge, we can stay informed. Don’t know? Get up and exercise your right to ask.

This is just a friendly reminder that you don’t have to be all the way there. You can approximate your way to the answer.

You Must Search

You Must Search

You Must Search because the systems aren’t designed to be completely honest with you. Systems enable a poisonous cycle that is literally designed to KILL you. If by chance you survive the toxic hell they feed you – they won’t supply tools necessary to restore your health and well-being. Look at it as a virus installed the moment you bought a new computer. It’s only a matter of time before it crashed but the repair won’t be for free.

But for a $Price$ far beyond your ability to compensate. All of the billboards tell you nothing is wrong and that this is the way it goes. All of the glitter and expensive things are shown as believable. It’s sold as a dream that everyone desires although you must be asleep to enter it. The price for liberation – leaves you left with very little leg room. While your legs may be stuck in a closed in place, your ability to move is still encouraged.

You Must Search for loving yourself isn’t always the easiest path but it yields the best benefits. It’s not that people don’t care they just don’t care enough to change what you’re doing in your life. It’s good to have a village hold everyone responsible but it ain’t the norm. People barely acknowledge that you’re there. When something comes up – like if your pants are down. This doesn’t always alert your neighbors all the time. They might not find it necessary to tell you – this is why your mirror is your best friend.

You Must Search cuz you’re responsible without given the reason to know why you gotta find out. You’re thrown in – sink, swim, or float. You’ll have to do each of these actions at some point in time. This matters because the importance of awareness is literally life-changing. Getting to know why things sink, swim, and float helps identify the problem. It ain’t just you, tho! Sharing this space with about 7 billion other people and counting helps create some perspective. When in doubt be your own best friend and look out the window to gain empathy.

You Must Search for there are various clues hidden between the walls and halls of your waking life. You’re on an endless journey which is governed by the rules you set. These rules are imaginary – they only make sense to those that follow. There is Black and White – and those colors which are in between.

You Must Search for the fun is in the adventure to find out what’s awaiting you. (Which is a lot)

The Siren Language

The Siren Language

When I wake up from my slumber the sounds are loud and they rumble within my ears. I must meet the day for life has served me some demands. It ain’t like I can sleep in and snooze the clock this time. Those days are gone. If I really wanna make a difference – I got to be about the noise and learn just how well those sound decibels ring.

Sometimes I feel like I can’t even hear myself. I’m going deaf at the noise and I can’t let it go. I’m the one to blame for even as the environment has chosen me, I subject myself to the noise. It’s like being in a stadium filled with crowds cheering. Who’s team would silence be on? If I took the pledge to not say anything until I was awakened – would that make a difference in the game?

It seems we can only muster a small difference if we want to see a big change. We can all take small steps to a vision while having a large heart of ambition. We are all doing something to respond to the noise. A loud conviction is set to awaken a belief inside. We are the messengers of sound – hoping to say something that’ll make somebody listen. Not all of us are listening but the alarms give us the feeling.

I’m having to learn the siren language. The frequency of alarms in which life reminds me to keep up with objectives. Promises that have been made are expected to be kept in spite of the timing of the alarm. The lights are as good as flash signals. As they pulsate in connection with the sounds, my ears vibrate.

I can offer no excuses as to why I did not complete what was already promised in my intent. When you claim you want something, you got to work to get it. The noise is to awaken you from your supposed slumber. Get to business in spite of the vibrations in your sphere.

Trembling noises are setting fire to my tongue, begging me to learn again. It’s like hearing a new language being spoken to you all the time. You might be able to decipher a few words but everything in between is foreign. It’s not always easier committing to learning a new language.

Swedish is my newest language to understand. It’s not necessarily easy and while it shares a resemblance to English the pronunciation isn’t as slippery. Meaning the words don’t flow as cool as I’m used to. Words get caught in between my southern dialect. Swedish is more like sandpaper with deep vibrations as an accent. I have to train myself to talk slower and as if I have mucus in the back of my throat. (This ain’t easy, B)

There’s more to language than just Speaking, Listening (Understanding), and Writing (knowing when to use certain characters in the top of the alphabet. It’s a process and the sirens have been going off for a while in my head.

The siren language teaches me all sounds can be understood if by paying enough attention. It will cost me several frustrations and slurs but with proper listening – I can awaken without disruption. I can’t slack tho. EVERYDAY. I MUST practice. That’s the biggest gripe with it. I have to surround myself with something new and leave no room to slack.

I’ve been blessed with a partner that speaks Swedish among other languages which will make these sirens a bit more durable. (Thanks, Baby Girl <3) Submitting to what I don’t know – to learn. To grow. To not be so stubborn when it comes to learning. I’m working on it – it’s just I need to work a bit harder so my brain can take it all in. Until then….

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BTW: I’d hardly call this new Project from The MJ Estate NEW – all of these tracks have been released. If you wanna give us a project feature something never before seen. Something really new, otherwise along with learning Swedish this project is another siren in my ear! 😀

The Qualified Sum

The Qualified Sum

If you’re gonna play: Rock, Paper, Scissors with me – look directly into my eyes. Only look down when it’s time to decide who won. You’re cheating if you look at the hands the whole time, Don’t debate me – on this! 😀

Games like Rock, Paper, Scissors and Tic Tac Toe (X’s and O’s) are based on specific patterns. If you learn them, you’ll be able to win depending on if your opponent makes a mistake. Worst case scenario is that there would be a tie with no winners or losers. Yay!

I find games like this fun because with enough repetition – your subconscious catches on to how the player makes their move. We don’t always win at this but if you aren’t aware of the algorithm – you’ll find yourself losing more and more. This doesn’t always favor your ego, especially if you’re used to winning.

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Some of us are so bitter when it comes to failing we revise history to our advantage. *coughs – white people* It makes absolutely no sense to do this. It just makes you a sore loser. White Supremacists, Neo-Nazis, and Confederate loving Americans are PRIME at doing this. They don’t wanna look at history for what it is but rather what they want to make out of it.

Times like now are interesting because they force us to examine the ways we cheat at excusing our behavior. We’re afraid of owning up to some of our own biases if they mean proving us wrong.

Ever caught yourself in a: “NOT ALL OF US” KIND OF MOMENT?

It should be painfully obvious that ‘NOT ALL ‘ is dumped in when talking about a group of people. I’ve been seeing a lot of statements like #MenAreTrash – previously, I would get on the defense whenever I’d hear a generality like that because ‘HEY NOT ALL MEN ARE TRASH’.

Now, I knew I had trash ways as a man and I didn’t want to look at them because ‘We all fall short’ but this isn’t the way to go about it. If you don’t fit in the scenario than keep it moving.

Some are qualified in the variables made – if you don’t fit the shoe, don’t even try to wear it. Our egos can be big and to check ourselves is the easiest thing we can do if our feelings start running amuck.

In short: We qualify which moves we make on the board. The best we can aim for is to even out. We don’t gotta get mad if it ain’t about us. One of the best things I learned from my grandmother is “Everything ain’t about you and trust me – that’s a good thing!.”

Choices – Nikki Giovanni

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Poetry unlocks the romance of words joined with a window through innuendo. Crescendo or more – there is a triple sensation of heaven by the third dimension. As far as I’m able to travel // I’m rallying the rope with a firm grip by the symbol of illustration. Words become more like a character when joined with setting and power of delivery. In poetry living in the parenthesis is safer than living by the literal lines. So, what I’m saying is inside the innuendo of the said text. Thanks to poetry -it may seem invisible // completely faded from the picture, but actually – it’s in the background hidden as an extra. They’ll get it on the way back home. Like a dream, being reminded that what they saw in intense observation was recorded by a poetic lens.

In honor of #WorldPoetryDay // One of my favorites by Nikki Giovanni – Choices. This one feels like water streaming down to my esophagus into my belly. It fills me with complete compatibility and parallel syncopation. It eases the quest, if only for a little while. Thank you, Nikki!

Missed Under Standing

Missed Under Standing

If the moment is caressed by anxiety and lack of motivation, how can one completely live in it? It’s not always easy being courageous enough to face the inevitable. You know what’s avoidable by the plague of normalcy. Specific patterns are driven in our subconscious. We don’t always stumble because we walk in darkness, sometimes too much light can distort our navigation.

We are not always equipped to say what we want to say in heat of the moment. I encourage vulnerability but I’d be the first to admit, this isn’t always easy.

Having the courage to put our thoughts into words takes time and effort. This still doesn’t mean everyone gets the full spectrum of what is being said. Examples come and go, but I like to believe this diagram is quite illustrative of what it’s like having a conversation (online especially) *this diagram has been created before but I’ve redesigned it*

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At the heart of it, we want to be understood. Nina Simone said it quite soulfully:

Nina Simone said it quite soulfully:

“Baby you understand me now
If sometimes you see that I’m mad
Doncha know no one alive can always be an angel?
When everything goes wrong, you see some bad
But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood…”

My intentions are to make you dance. To make you play. It doesn’t always come easy. The rules of chess take time. Fragments to the ear are bits and pieces processed all the way to the heart. It’s not the full story, but rarely if ever the full story is given at one time. It takes time. Art helps us fill in the gaps. Illustrations are great ways of saying a lot.

The reason why people raise their voices is that they feel they aren’t getting through.

‘U got 2 go through, 2 get 2 it…” – The Work Pt.1

People just want to make sense. They want to get to the bottom of what you are saying. The top may be hard to get, but the foundation while invisible to most eyes, still deserve investigative research. The less you say, the better. People don’t expect performance. Behavior is what tells people the destination of your words.

Which is why we must perform. The unexpected. The unexpected is guaranteed at the moment. Live in it. Breathe in it. Listen to the moment, when the moment is yours. You are always gonna be thinking. People gonna also take what they want to take from it.

To a degree, we all got selective hearing. Hearing what we want to hear. Bits and pieces of what makes sense to the story in our head. When getting to the truth – we got to get through the lines.

The lines ain’t always easy. We have to draw with the ink that we have at the moment. I’ve made it a clear purpose of mine, to speak honestly. I can’t be worrying about what others perceive about my art pieces. If you have questions, I’ll welcome you to my gallery. I got all kind of cool shit on my walls. If you want to know the context behind the colors I choose to use, the shapes that I decide to geometrically parallel, feel free to study them. Understand them. The cool thing about art is that more than one meaning can be taken from it.

If you are standing under, you’ve missed it. Stand tall. For when the moment presents itself to you-you can only speak on what you know. People might only get a piece of what you are delivering to them. That’s a reaction to their hearing. What was processed in their ears? A circle runs by infinity. Expand by the embrace of the moment.

I’m getting better at being in the moment. We talk a great deal about living in the moment, but this isn’t always easy when the past is looking back at us. The past is a beast of burden because it carries meaning. Especially if abuse was experienced. You always remember your scars. It doesn’t dissolve in the face of the future. I’m living out of the search of my scars.  These scars are told by the past that came before it. They do not define them.

So what was heard is not always the fullness of what was said // but in time all circles find the full revolution. (If you have 3 Dollars  and 6 dimes at least)

UNLEARN THE MISINFORMED

UNLEARN THE MISINFORMED

It’s necessary for us to engage. To challenge the systems which have been in power for so long. To ask questions about the way things flow. We all live different experiences and unfortunately, some of us have lives that operate under prejudice and targeted discrimination.

Prejudice and discrimination is a very formal and regulated doctrine. It involves rules that are spoken and enforced. Think of it like an app. It comes with its notifications and individual functionality. It has a mission and no matter how the intent is declared – is very direct about its subject of interest. We have to be willing to have a real conversation about the reality of division. Systems have been in place to separate us from each other.

I’m all for opening a real conversation about issues of discrimination and prejudice. Justice means being there for one another in our time of need. We can’t blindly turn our eyes to those who are suffering underneath systematic oppression. Even when we break this down to a micro level – we can see how individuals can judge somebody else because they have perceptions that are rooted in ignorance.

It’s never an untimely of a message to let people know you are there for them. You are there through any of the pain they may face. on a global scale – we have to be there for one another. Not allowing our conditions of belief to cripple our understanding for each other. It’s vital for all of us to keep going and to push into higher and brighter plateaus.

Sometimes we are not fully aware as to why we see others the way we do. We come up with catchphrases like “Love The Sinner, Hate The Sin” which ends up corrupting the whole idea of love. It bankrupts the idea of love and what it means to be there for them for who they are.

Sonic Blister(s)

Sonic Blister(s)

To believe what is actual, not being deceived by how it appears. Sure, our frames of perception can be colorful and wide; but if we are gonna make a factual statement about another subject….It’s best to be sure to check the mathematics of your analysis.

Look Twice, Homie!

In the best of passion, we are often arrested in our own thrills. Caught in the rapture of our meaning and forgetful to the other side of the pole. This happens to the best of us. Our voice and more (visibly) our words are devices of construction. We are building a universe by the words we speak and by the intent we set. When having a conversation fueled with passion and dedication, remember to share the ball. If not, conversation becomes a sport and we begin to rectify Shakespeare’s Monologues. Caught up in our own whirlwinds of speech, cutting aimlessly in the air, making all of the scores.

“Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue: but if you mouth it, as many of your players do, I had as lief thetown-crier spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air
too much with your hand, thus, but use all gently;
for in the very torrent, tempest, and, as I may say,
the whirlwind of passion, you must acquire and begeta temperance that may give it smoothness. O, it offends me to the soul to hear a robustious
periwig-pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, to
very rags, to split the ears of the groundlings, who for the most part are capable of nothing but
inexplicable dumbshows and noise: I would have sucha fellow whipped for o’erdoing Termagant; it
out-herods Herod: pray you, avoid it.”
– Hamlet: Act 3, Scene 2

I remember having to remember that monologue in theater class, and it’s always stayed with me. 😀

I could only imagine those on stage back then, would sometimes get caught up in the drama of the moment. Going way too far into their passions, and using their hands and body with too much weight and detail. Which Shakespear was not too fond of. He understood the need of temperance, which would allow a sort of smoothness. He wanted to avoid at all cost, the act of ‘Trying Too Hard’.

Maybe Shakespeare knew, people could see right through the act, and it was determined to sway through the disappointment of overdoing it.

This sets a remarkable parallel to the act of exercising on our madness. We can be thrown into our own passions at quite the cost, and this gives way to Sonic Blisters.

What are Sonic Blisters?

Sound trapped in some kind of emotional cut, and when we feel the cut, we scream. We act on the drama that we experience and are honest to whatever the feeling brings forth. If it’s frustration, it’s frustration. If it’s kindness, it’s kindness. Sometimes we can bleed too far into the outrage and it becomes overwhelmingly too much – but these blisters are controlled through sound.

Looking Twice // Listening Closely.