Cuz, I Sway So

Cuz, I Sway So

On this journey, often you are in the passenger’s seat! You ain’t the one driving – you don’t always get to change the song.

Why?

Because, I sway so!

The way I do it is according to my flow. The method and rhyme in which I begin, starts with the middle first and then the end. For reasons unknown to you, I already found a center in the vin diagram.

The levels and turns that are to come will amaze! It may even bust you in the eye – if you ain’t careful!

Don’t worry! I don’t mean literally. I’m just getting started cuz my hands are warmer. I’m out the cold element. Now we both can arise from the darkness. Allow the light to enter by twisting the handle of the blinds. That’s right you ain’t blind!

*The Voice Inside listening to the other voice talking, sways inside*

You’ve already established that before this. I’ve been receiving the fullness of your flow since time past. I’ve had it to the extremes merely listening to your cause. Keep talking and continue to drown me in your reason. I doubt you’d stay in to watch.

Amplifying your retort. Begging me to listen because you have something to say(or sway)…Certainly, you want to share the root of your argument. I see it. I am aware. You have been on my case like white on rice. It’s inseparable. Should I give you rage? Or simply turn the page?

Scratch that. Maybe you just want me to see where you’re coming from? Shouting is a very narrow way to make a difference. I’ve let you finish by refusing to engage with you while you were making your points. You already made several. I stood there in silence to just wait for it to pass over.

I’d appreciate the same passing of words while I’m talking. What’s true is that all of that ain’t gotta be here or there. That ain’t even this rather that is on that.

So Riddle Me This… (Not Yet)

Cuz I Sway So!

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ME + YOU = STEW

ME + YOU = STEW

It ain’t just me. It’s you too, which is enough to make a stew! So here’s what we’re gonna do! We shall cut from the fattest part. I must make sure that it’s not a delayed start. For I aim to rock the people on the dance floor!!!

I’m the DJ – I play a tune correspondent to vibration. The beat sounds like this –

It’s not meaning to be rude but they already judged you before you sat next to them. I saw you from a mile away and it made me stray.

Society has evolved in such a way where no one desires to be wrong. We have the burning need to be right, so much that we never appreciate why we were wrong. A recall of our mistakes leads us in a honest direction. We can then learn how to pick up the pieces.

Think of a student walking into a classroom for the first time only a half-hour late. They may think their classmates are judging them without merit.

You can’t always tell what people are thinking. Sometimes you may get a glimpse of their thoughts through body language. Look at their faces !

🤨🥴😐

Daisy had on a yellow shirt and it made her look like a block of cheese.

I didn’t tell her though because I feared she would take offense to my cheesy comment.

Mark had on a spotty brown shirt, which made him look like a cousin to dirt.

Does that make it an even bet, that Mark is looking at me along with Daisy?

🧐

Where does the river of technicolor paranoia lead? Are we all missing and dissing each other? Are our thoughts leading up the street and around the corner to nowhere?

.

It’s all leading somewhere. When you see the interconnection between all of nothing and everything. There is great confusion in what is and what isn’t.

It would appear that most concepts have an agenda. There’s a code to unlock and an order to follow. Like a stew that makes due out of everything collected.

Me & You? Yeah we got work to do!

REQUESTS // CAFÉ

REQUESTS // CAFÉ

The following script is in connection to a series of conversations entitled ‘Riddle Me That…’ which is due to release at the beginning of 2019.

Double D: Hey, bro can you buy me some food because I’m hungry and I ain’t got the money.

Mike: Sorry man, I ain’t got it like that – I just got enough for myself.

Double D: See! That’s what I’m talking about – you can’t even help anybody out without thinking for yourself! How can you be so selfish!

Nathaniel: Whoa – calm down bro, I’ll buy you something.

Double D: *Screams and shouts in a panicked rage* Do You even know how hard it is for families to eat?! I was gonna take this food and bring it back to my family because they haven’t seen a meal in a while! We are all hungry and I can’t even request some food without someone telling me they don’t have it?! You don’t have it? What do I have?

Mike: *Falls onto the floor, apologizing for not having enough* Sorry, man – I just didn’t have it.

Nathaniel: It’s ok my bros – Double D, what do you want? Pick anything you need right now and I’ll head with you to the store – and buy whatever your family needs for the week. Now follow me, bro. *

Double D: Thanks bro, I appreciate you – not many understand how hard it is for people.

Nathaniel: Yo, I get that but it’s hard for people out here too. You ain’t have to call mike selfish, he didn’t have enough, and you made a scene out there – embarrassing him and that wasn’t right.

Double D: Nah but I know he had it! He clearly was bugging because he didn’t think of others.

Nathaniel: Do you hear how that sounds? He was being selfish because he told you – he didn’t have it? So, was he supposed to not eat because you haven’t? You ain’t the only one going through hard times bro! Requesting for something doesn’t mean you are entitled to those requests! I can take you out on the streets to people who got it harder than you and Martha. You got kids – they grow up fast. Ruth must be 10 and Tim must be an adolescent- shit gets expensive, but we all struggling out here in some way.

Double D: I doubt you struggling that much if you’re willing to help me out for the week bro.

Nathaniel: Well I have enough. It’s not a sacrifice for me – but this doesn’t mean it HAS to be a sacrifice for others. Mike had only enough for himself. I have more than enough for myself and others. I’m just glad I was right behind y’all – so I could pinch in and volunteer service. I ain’t trying to preach to you but shit, no one never knows the extent of another person’s dilemma. We owe ourselves empathy-even if you’re desperate for change. What’s going to happen here one day is that you won’t always be struggling. You’re going to work it out. Martha is going to her that promotion and the both of y’all going to have enough to take care of your kids and others. You ain’t going to stay in this bad spot – it might be hard and long but shift happens.

Double D: It’s gonna take a miracle at this point. Some people never make it out of their dilemma. Remember Henry? The Postman? Well, ever since his moms died – he been struggling bad. He had to sell his house and now he’s living in a shelter. His wife left him for another life and he works a lot – two jobs and still sometimes can’t make ends meet. Good thing he doesn’t have any children, cuz shit he wouldn’t be able to contribute much of nothing to their basic needs. Some people don’t make it out even if they pull their bootstraps up and hustle till their purple in the face. I don’t want to get to that point but I also ain’t naïve to forget the sun don’t always shine in the alleys. (Especially on the 5th avenue if you know what I mean?) Haha.

Nathaniel: Yes, I’m starting with, my privilege. It’s easy for me to think that without knowing how hard it is to experience to the heart of what y’all are facing. I just think we can all do better. And all of this makes me beg the question of existence. If you had my life you’d be happy for a while because you wouldn’t be stressed about necessities. Yet, you’d worry about the other things that come with my kind of life. I suppose you’re never free from troubles no matter how good you got it. What’s the point of living if we’re all going to die anyway? I read a story about a millionaire who ended his life anyway. Money doesn’t bring happiness. I suppose it can for a brief period, but happiness seems to be engineered by biology. Some people are born happier than others and that’s to no fault of your own if you are down in the slums more than someone who isn’t.

Double D: I appreciate that bro. I guess I didn’t have to act out so aggressively to Mike. It was just the rage of me tired of being ignored. I’m going to do what I need to do to make sure things get on the right track. Plus – I was HANGRY! 😀

Nathaniel: I believe in your drive bro! We’ll make sure you don’t have to get hangry! Let’s now get you that food I promised ya!

Hate & Chance

Hate & Chance

What is Hate? Well, hate is given to someone who has shown themselves uninterested in changing. Hate is an itch that must be scratched. Hate is when irresponsible to the ethics of morality (or what is seen as good).

We feel ‘hatred’ often when we are slightly inconvenienced. (It ain’t about you all the time motherfucka) But – It’s a valid feeling when it comes around. It’s almost as sweet as revenge. The passion that comes with hatred can be delightful. It would be like sticking your hands in a pack of skittles and consistently getting red, green, and peach colors. That tropical blend is an exquisite taste and so is hate on occasion! 😀

Hate is a plague and we redeem our connection to it, by divorcing it from our consciousness. Love doesn’t work with someone who can’t understand the language of love. I suppose it can but then it’s transformed into something else. Speaking to someone in riddles only works if they have lunch with the Oracle. Otherwise, riddles and witticisms may come across as nonsensical to others. (Which by then Willy Wonka should have already reminded you – that everyone who buys a ticket, WINS: Although it may not be golden – the chocolate is still good to eat!)

Love makes rooms to sympathize that some are in error and others wish to recover that which has steered off its path. If by chance hate and love work together it is through the fashion like manner of love. Love can be worn on messy bodies – but if you musty, you shouldn’t try on clean clothes. It’s better to wash clean from dirt before wearing new fabrics.

If by chance hate and love can work together – it is through the awareness of harmonic convergence. When the lights gamble with darkness. Either one of them will win at different times.
The chances that hate is seen as love are few in which case, by then…

 

Written days ago but upon the motion of right now – a sadness breeds reflection and resolution.

H & I

H & I

*This post came to me in a dREaM – so if some of it doesn’t make any sense, you should probably sleep on it and then write down your dreams – then try correlating the lines.* If you don’t want to read through all of the lines of explanation – here’s a sentence to simplify it for you. “By surrendering your “I” (ego) you create a bridge to cross.”

I” is a bridge to cross. When explaining yourself – to someone else, think of the capital letter ‘H’. There are two poles on opposite ends but have the equal lines to connect what’s in the middle.

The line (“I”) in the middle should be seen as the ego. In order to understand where someone is coming from, one must surrender their ego simultaneously so their cargo (argument) can be successfully delivered.

HNIego

The ego must submit as to not get in the way. A bridge is essential if you want a shortcut instead of carrying extra baggage because by then everyone could have missed your point. The feeling of being wrong is one that we often run away from.

All of us are convinced on opposite ends that what we’re saying is valid. We tend to believe the information that confirms our side. We blindly may accept the normative played out without challenging the veracity of such sides.

Getting to where we want to go means discipline but also curiosity. How much would you love the end result? Even if the result is not in your favor. For energy comes and goes. Sometimes it may stick around other times it may convert into something else. It may be useful or a pest – dealing with the volume of passing chemicals is, after all, a potentially deadly experience.

As it turns out, meeting in the middle is often actually just one person bowing down and compromising for another person. If someone wants to do one thing and another doesn’t want to do it – meeting in the middle is either one person deciding to do it or the other deciding not to do it.

It’s not good enough to half do it. It’s also like a see-saw. One is up and the other is down.

A great way to simplify the H & Bridge is by a lyric from Prince: “If eye say 11, U can say it’s 7 – still eye wish u heaven.”

Truth is: there is no such thing as winning an argument *at least there shouldn’t be*. Imagine you on one side screaming your head off while the other person is screaming their head off. The two of you alternating between highs and lows – uppercuts and low blows.

One player feels like an aggressive antagonist. The other one reduced and misunderstood. The relationship is spoiled, the argument is specifically engineered – guaranteed to be exact – to be repeated. A circle that never reaches any conclusion.

Shoulders are tense. Arms are tightly embracing the opposite arm. The mood is stubborn.

If the person you are trying to win an argument against is important to you, then you may see how using the word “winning” is really misused.

*unless you really enjoy stomping to the beat of your own drum without yielding to the other bandmates – so that they may fancy the chance, to solo to their heart’s content!*

&AnotherThing…

&AnotherThing…

&AnotherThing… (A series of helpful reminders you may or may not find useful.)

When I was little, I would crush my bag of chips because I felt it would be more to eat later. However, when I got older – I began to understand that no matter how many pieces you make out of one – the same value exists. This encouraged me to embrace the moment of one chip. I now slowly eat one at a time with no need to pour them out or funnel them down my throat. (Plus I make less of a mess) Basically: I could cut the pie in many different ways, but it ain’t gonna get any bigger. Therefore, When I savor the moment, it’s blessed!

&AnotherThing…

If the question is why and the answer is “I DON’T KNOW”. This should be satisfactory enough. You may offer a source who may know but they are coming from the vantage point of the perspective they believe. It’s important to remember people are coming from where they are at (currently) What do you know? Maybe more than I – this is why I prefer to shut up and be the student. Yet, this is what also makes me want to teach and tell what I do know because it may help somebody!

&AnotherThing…

It’s important to keep context in the same place you put your keys or that fresh breath mint. Your pocket. If your context ain’t somewhere close but somewhere more vast – like your backpack or purse, you’re gonna have a longer time locating it. So, now that we got all of the basics out the way:
“Where are your glasses?”
Hmm.
They are exactly where you put them. You’ve been looking everywhere except the most common place we put our glasses when we don’t need them. Not in the pocket or purse but on the top of our heads! Are you really a fool? Bad memory? Nah – it just wasn’t important enough to be taken out and put away. Sometimes shortcuts are actually necessary. *Even if you forgot the most obvious place.* 

&AnotherThing…

It ain’t over until you’re ready to leave the party. The older you get, you just don’t fit in. It’s not that you aren’t cool but your jokes are way past the younger crowds head. The music you would bump too won’t be hitting the bass level as present contemporaries. This is when it’s time to leave. You ain’t gotta make a scene but exiting silently is your best bet. No need to embarrass yourself. When the thought suggests: “Maybe I should go home.” Honor that. You can also look at this as a metaphor for death. It’s not to be feared or delayed – everybody gotta leave some time.

&AnotherThing…

Pick your battles wisely. Everything ain’t worth the fight or sweat. If you can get your point across without screaming, cool! But if you end up losing your voice altogether – even better! Maybe that’ll remind you of how much raising your voice in an argument ain’t worth it. Some points are connected but most of the dots get lost in the sauce. You ain’t gotta break your cool – just to defend a point. If you really care – extend the same duty to someone else. They care too albeit from a different perspective.

&AnotherThing…

Some things require a password. If you don’t know the password – you still not gonna get access by making one up. You might need to contact a professional hacker. Although, I’m pretty sure if you are that desperate – you got some shit you need to figure out. Why not create your own account? It doesn’t have to be like you – get creative. Make up some shit, creating characters with their own moods and personalities can be a lot of fun!! WARNING: If you spend too much time on the net, you may fall into the trap of believing what you see. What’s worst, is cat-fishing real people because you stole a real person picture without asking them. May I suggest, using a cartoon for your avatar or a stock photo instead?

&AnotherThing….*Probably the most important lesson*

Somethings are someone’s personal experience. EVERYTHING is not every ones “Thing”. The grace of minding your business blesses you mostly. Why not take this blessing? Interfering with another life is beyond invasive. It’s downright, hubris. There’s enough to handle in your own pyramid. Glasses need to be cleaned. Shelves dusted off. Floors that need a proper shine. In spite, all the work that can be done in your home – why worry about someone else’s yard? What’s the point in getting involved in another’s battle? Why even get upset if you smell herbs that ain’t your own? You can still commit to helping from a distance without in return destroying a village. Do yourself a service and keep it moving!

Why I Embrace The Absurd

Why I Embrace The Absurd

I have been reading a lot of Albert Camus (One of my favorite philosophers) and his book ‘The Myth of Sisyphus’ has stirred within me various questions about existence and just how absurd our lives are. (Especially if you’re living your life like me without a religious meaning) I find purpose in what is unresolved and brought together by a random chaos of meaning. Here are 3 of my favorite quotes *at the moment* from the book.

“It is probably true that a man remains forever unknown to us and that there is in him something irreducible that escapes us. But practically I know men and recognize them by their behavior, by the totality of their deeds, by the consequences caused in life by their presence. Likewise, all those irrational feelings which offer no purchase to analysis. “

“The absurd is born of this confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world.”

“”The absurd has meaning only in so far as it is not agreed to. There exists an obvious fact that seems utterly mortal: namely, that a man is always a prey to his truths. Once he had admitted them, he cannot free himself from them.

While I understand the importance of order and structure somethings are better of in between the thigh of the absurd.

The looooonnng and short of this video is, while I can go several places at the same time, it’s about the journey. If stepping into the void lands you on something squishy and wet – may the funk bless your consistency. 😀

Dreaming of A World With More Zeros

Dreaming of A World With More Zeros

I’m dreaming of a world with more zeros. A future filled with information which doesn’t end but repeats. A loop of daily routine found in a prism of ideas, to yield more discovery. How grand it would be, for our future to endlessly reach more experiences of love.

In a time where research is easily accessible – do you ever stop to think – we have enough information already? There’s so much hidden and revealed, there can’t be anything else left for us to know, right? Nah!

There’s plenty of wisdom left to uncover. The love of wisdom is what philosophy is at the center to root. The encouragement that comes from knowledge is awe-inspiring. The potential of knowledge made to good use revives and stimulates your nerves. When information is accessed properly – it aligns your memories to your eventual dreams.

Dreaming is to uncover those random thoughts that slipped through mundanity. *Let’s be Real: Life can be incredibly stagnant and predictable.* In spite of this, A picture that you briefly looked at it – can come back as a mansion of chandeliers. These can all be set to challenge and remind you of an essence meant to be explored when you wake up.

For a moment – picture every seed as a zero. When you plant zeros in the ground – you are essentially planting nothing. That’s what it seems. A small figure that expands into something Grand. All of the proper conditions must be in sync for it to yield a worthy result. Now think of it:

Dreaming of a world with more seeds.

Wouldn’t this be Grand? Where would we plant all of these seeds? They can’t all go into the ground – that would be limiting every other pocket waiting to be filled. Plant seeds in the clouds, souls, Children, etc. You’ll never have a shortage of places to plant seeds.

The more you plant those seeds – your zeros will stand among the many.

My dream is now living life with more seeds. More opportunities that await a future that’s entwined with past and present. It’s not that hard to see. A life that encourages us to plant seeds. To intend for a result which performs positivity.

Interrogate The ‘Why’

Interrogate The ‘Why’

1.jpeg

  1. “I can’t speak for anyone else, but I either know or I don’t know.”
  2. “It is only by grace through faith that we are saved. It is sort of like saying can you be saved if someone is reaching down the grab you from a sinking ship, but you smack the hand, then no you can’t be saved cause you are rejecting what can save you.”
  3. You can have faith and be lost too. In our mindset, we know where we gonna go but in reality, things will throw us off and we can get lost for a little IF we pay attention to that escape that is prepared for us to exit to that right path. So either way, both sides can get lost with or without faith. We just need to wake up and pay attention.” 
  4. “Only in case one is religious.”
  5.  “If you’re sincere.”
  6. Belief = Faith Faith=Belief.
  7. “You can have all the faith in the world and still the one doing the saving can still choose to say no.”2.jpeg
  8. I Like To Believe That All Roads Lead Home.”
  9.  “If you ask from religious folks their answer is yes.”
  10. “All forks in the roads lead to a destination.”
  11. “Lost or found – faith has little to nothing to do with it.”
  12. “Sometimes being lost is better than being found rather than being taken back to a house that isn’t a home.”
  13. “Yes, because if you don’t keep the faith – you are already lost, but what’s wrong with being lost?”
  14. “Faith is neither here or there – it’s a word to describe hope which we all have to some extent. Not having this, doesn’t make you anymore at ‘home’ than you being lost until you get to your destination.”3.jpeg
  15. “Faith is a worthy substitute. Our “gut feeling” comes from nowhere else but the highest. Some people call it common sense. Some people call it instinct. If people ask for evidence of proof, I believe that your mind and feelings are sufficient enough.”
  16. “Faith is born of evidence given in mysterious forms.”
  17. With me, I can see the evidence unfolding but it’s not ready to give birth yet. But my faith is like it has to be there, it just has to be there, oh it’s going to be there, heck yeah it’s there!!! BAM there it is after the fact. It scares me and then I’m reminded of Him that I asked and my faith was just strong to break those walls down!
  18. Do I believe in God? Heaven and Hell? Evidence and proof of a feeling, proof of our own human minds. What is right and wrong? Judgements! Create feelings! Hate is a choice. We must unlearn! I will say this for the record. I have been told I am going to Hell because of my demonic queer, lifestyle. So ungodly! This is what I tell the people who tell me this.. To be honest, I would be happy and grateful to go to Hell. Finally surrounded by my LGBTQ family, it would be one big happy LGBTQ dance party. I would be much safer in hell, then I am, here, on earth. The reality I live, is that people want me dead, because of religion, and religious beliefs, is that being Christian? I thought that was 1 of the ten commandments,”thou shall not kill?” Oh but you’re not actually taking a gun and pulling the trigger, but you are! You are separating yourself individually and now as a collective whole with judgments, right and wrong, those bullets are silent and yet very deadly… and Yes there are real bullets too. People actually die in the LGBTQ community. Someone in my LGBT family was murdered, found dead, two weeks ago, this exists people. Check your faith people – what you believe.
  19. If it’s a belief, it’s not evident.
  20. I think the very definition of faith is to believe without evidence. If someone tells me that there’s money growing on the tree in their yard, I’m going to want evidence before I turn up with my basket and start picking! But faith is almost a form of esoteric evidence, where you know something is true, even though you don’t have the evidence required to prove it to someone else. Luckily, we don’t have to, which is why faith is usually either a very personal, or else community-focused thing. 
    I’m genuinely puzzled by religions that try to convert people because they literally have no evidence to show, so they are trying to somehow generate faith in another’s heart, and that’s like trying to make a rainbow. You can’t make a rainbow, only God (or the Universe/alternative higher power/science) can do that, and it typically needs a particular set of circumstances in the lead up to it. 
    In general (although there are exceptions), the bigger the storm, the brighter the rainbow. Similarly, the bigger the crisis, the brighter faith shines in someone’s heart when it finally arrives (and it probably doesn’t ring the doorbell!)
  21. Not having evidence and believing is Faith. 

    Thank you to everyone who participated so far! You may or may not find your answer here but this series will continue on until July. My goal in providing these answers are not to dissect the categories of where these answers stem from. Philosophy and opinions share the same veins and the goal here is to expose the blood that gets us going. Although, we are not always going. Standing still in the middle of our quest – while we interrogate the ‘WHY’. What leads us to these various paths? The more we ask – we get a little bit closer.

Peddle Deep

Peddle Deep

I was peddling so hard – I didn’t know how close I was to falling down, until about 28 minutes ago! Ever get in the mood for just a race? You want to run so far as if some zombie is coming behind you! When you got that kind of motivation your legs become even more determined to go faster!

My legs were fully inspired. By the time, I was just about to get to my destination. It dawned on me – I had to stop before coming body first into a collision. (Duh!) Before nearly crashing -I hit the breaks HARD! So hard where I nearly fell off my damn bike!

Luckily tho, my instincts kicked in right in time for me to feel how close I was to falling off. My hands grabbed the handlebars earnestly. Like a man in love holds his lover in the time of delight, I was holding onto dem bars TIGHT!

Suddenly, my feet slid at an angle where it then dragged for several seconds while gulping equilibrium in the process. To make matters more sensitive – I had on soft Nike’s too. I got up – having realized I made it to my destination without falling off. Basically: It hurt like hell at the time it was all done.

As I walked up to put the bike back in place – I felt a pulsating pain. I legit thought I had fractured my ankle. I was happy I didn’t fall off. If the breaks were not engaged – I would have easily run on various solid surfaces.

I guess it didn’t matter how hard I was peddling – as long as I made it to my destination safely. A bit bruised up? Yes. A pep in my step due to avoiding my body crashing? Yes. But no long-term pains.

This taught me a valuable lesson: No matter how fast you’re going. How determined you are. You’re gonna have to stop. You’d be pressed to remember soon before it’s too late. So, peddle deep but take it easy around the corners – remember to break with a considerable sloth BEFORE arriving at your destination.